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0001 i.s l ',I I ,'I ', THE WEST VAN NEWSMav 6, 1932 )Y ) Itsy M0" Mts 5 }st, Sit. 8 Ihg. l'll take I'|'e ltI THE BURNING BUSH By Subsdar According to 0 B.U.P. despatch collectors taking tolls from mot- orLsts on the new Sydney bridge have received an electric shock every time their hands and those of the motorists met. No, this did not apply only with lady motorists but in all cases. It ap- pears that this phenomenon was caused by the electricity escap- ing from the batteries of cars becoming stored in the bodies of the passengers in the dust- free air of the high bridge. Narmally this electricity was at- tracted to the highway by the particles of dust. So the toll collectors in future will wear rubber pads on their hands or have their boots soled with crepe rubber. The young will carefully note this matter in crossing the First Narrows bridge--when it is built--as otherwise such unexpected thrills might give rise to all sorts of false impressions as to the amount of love's sickness a- bout. Moreover, if the electric- ity was strong enough, it might be impossible to break away be- fore the }next lamp post wss reached, which would just be too bad. Those in our midst who favor Communism will doubtless be intrigued to hear that ten days ago 4,000,000 were let out of their jobs in Russia as a result of a decree of the Soviet Sup- reme Council of National Econ- omy, the latter name suggesting that they have time to burn at least in that country. The workers were literally kicked out of some of the larger plants, which are surrounded with bar- bed wire and heavily guarded by G.P.U. troops. In the words of the prophet "So this is Russia," and I am very glad I am not there. It is quite evident that even that country has somd.kind of a depression. It is also faced with a general shortage of food, and thus is worse of than Can- ada, which has at sny rate plenty of foodstuifs, even if they have not yet been ailequately spread round among our popula- tion. Announcement! CLASSIFIED ADSscots is 2 recta per «onL aiaiaea having tvsdzr eczeeaiz, aR dzzei- Tbe rate fot Cizzzidzd Advvrtbw 25 costs. Ezwyt Ia ibe csee of ttww dedz are payable Wridir ia sdvsaca Reaembw Clewibede ia the WestFor the convenience oF West Vancouver radio owners the J. W. KELLY PIANO CO., Lid., have installed an Vsa News get haaedizte reeeiia. TO RENT -- Fwaidwd zeiia felly modern. Large zieeyieg ywch. Phone West 94R. HOME Pi)RTRAITURE -- Wz wake etograpbz right in your owa a C. J. Broderick, 1486 Manna Drive. 1450 ARI".YI.E AVENLE, To Rcat- part of hoaw 2 doors frmn ferry wharf. 7 rooms on lhzz bmw, iow rent for entire wasoa Some furni- ture, Apply Owner on premiwa WANTED -- Cook Steve, zboet 810. Phone West 25X. SCIENTIFIC Sdf-Tteatamu fw Ca- tarrh, Colds, Asthma, Iabueaw, ~ure, Prostate Trouble. Dcbiiiiy, Rheumatism, Neuritis, Blmd Pres- eic. Money bach guarzztca Fme booklet. Write Overbeck Rcprwen- iziiva 1618 Folton Ave., Hofiybuta Acremeter at this agency lt This marvelous tube analizcr is one oF ihe outstanding developments oF the radio. tron industry and tests snd matches your tubes right before your eyes. You will bc astonished si the diifcrence in your radio. Ask For a Tube Carton ai the store. LOST--Boy Scan Hzi last Friday va Mzrine Drive. F}ader please yheae West 188X2. IJ)ST--A Silver Grey Persian Cat near West Bsy. Reward. Phoae 'iyrwt 151XI. ROCK ERY ead ALPINB PLANTS for sale, ftma large zouzcnoa C. G. Barrow, corner 24th sad Neiwa. Phone West 08L2. THIS SERVICE IS ABSOLUTELY FREE TO RFNT--Fetaizbed Heezc, feiif modern, Waterfront. Phone Miss Stevenson West 284LJ. W. KELLY PIANO CO., LTD. EXPERIENCED GIRL Wzaiz Wwk by the dzy. Phone Wezi 285L FOR SALE--Red zzd Rwka Cwk- erelz at pe)leis. One, fmw, or ziz weeks old. Reeamzbiy priced. Best R.O.P. stock obtainable. N. Rodgers 2291 Marine Drive FOB PLUMBING REPAIRS -- Rca- hlvnw Phone West 241IL WANTED--Aat kiw1 of heewwwh by dzr or boar. 25 cents per beer and czrlzre. Apply Bwz 41, West Vss Nvwz. G. GEMMILL, Agent Cor. 14th and Marine West 37West 37 RIAY DAY COM3IITTEE The May Day committee met in the council chamber last Fri- day night and spent a busy even- ing arranging the details of the celebration. 4 The dance in the eveningwhich will wind up the day will take place this year in the Hol- lyburn Pavilion, now Finished and renovated throughout, which has been kindly given free for the occasion by Nick Williamson. Dancing will take place from 7:16 to 8:45 p.m. for children and from 9 till 12 for adults, the charge for the latter to be 50 cents a head. The children's dance will be free. The arrangements for the of- ficial May Day supper which will take place at IVhytecliif Park, was left over until the next meeting. The representative of the Can- adian Legion, which organiza- tion hss charge of the parade, reported that it was hoped to have more parade prizes, also sn effort would be made to institute, such arrangements as would al- low of sll seeing the parade. The West Vancouver Horti- cultural Society agreed through their 'representative to become responsible for the decorations. The matter of the times of presenting the various prizes was left in the hands of the program committee. The next meeting of the com- mittee will take place in the council chamber at 8 p.m. next Monday, 9th May, CO M M UN ICATION I OUR SCHOOI. BAND bl WILL SEI.L or EXCHANGE for Smaller Hmtw in Wezi Vancouver, z feiif modern 4-roamed booze, cement basement. furnace, drepiace, wmi furnished ziiia large roams, nice view, 8 blocks to ferry. icnna Apply Bmt 26, West Vsa Ncaa WANTED TO RENT--Furnished wt- iege, inside piembiag, garage, from June 15th to Jane 80th. Phone West 290L. Editor West Van News. Sir:--A word of appreciation is due to those responsible for the very excellent work accomp- lished in the past by the West Vancouver School Band, that is to perform at the Auditorium this evening. In order td bring the band to the position that it now holds in the community s lot of real hard work, thought, and money have been necessary, and great credit is due those responsible. In these dilficuli times, it is not so easy to collect the neces- sary fees from some of the par- ents, and you will readily under- stand, that in order to run this Band, which is equipped with instruments that are necessarily expensive, it has been 0 hard task for those sponsoring the band to know just how they are to carry on. I understand that there are upwards of 40 boys and girls in the band, ranging in ages from 11 years to 18 years and they are equipped with 8 dozen or more dilferent instruments, and when they all get together, there's something doing. The music selected for to- night's concert is of 0 thorough- ly rousing type and the perform- ance brings to a close the sea- son's musical activities. It will be most encouraging, not only to those responsible for the concert but also to all the young folk comprising the Band if they play before a capacity audience tonight. Naturally the boys and girls look forward to these occasions when they have an opportunity of letting us hear what they can do after several months'rac- tice, so let's put our hats on and turn out to make this concert a financial success, as I know, from 0 musical standpoint our School Band will give us an evening's entertainment well worth the 35c admission asked at the door. It commences at 8 o'lock at the High School Audi- torium. TUITION--Junior or Smdur Mztrizz- lztioa Physics, Mzthewztlw or Chemistry. 4}us)ised high school Teacher . Phasm North 650. LOST--Pere White Pvrzisa Czt 0- round 14th zed Inglewaod. Phmw West 1991L No. I LNSIDE FIR, 5ass per cent Phone Blair'z, West 298. %@ANTED CALL ED BLACK foz Feraiizze zadBaggage Traadet. Daily to aad ftvm city. Phone West 68. HOUSE FOR RENT--Partly letaizh- ed, modern, nice location. garage. Phoae Wwt 620L. WANTED io Find Owner of Sntedz tree in West Vancouver. Kindly communicate with J. F. BROWN, Seymour 1484. FOB RENT--Feraizhed Heave at Hoi- iybure, convauent to ferry, 8254nk One at Aiiamoni aad an ezcepiiea- ally attractive home at Cauifel. John Lzwwn, West 66. HAVE YOU SEEV ibe New Steat for Pipe Smokers, if not, see Mac at the Ambiezide Tea Rooms. HIGH SCHOOL NOTES A delightful entertainment was presented by a group of High School students- at the weekly meeting of the Students'ssociationon Friday last. The program, consisting entirely of musical numbers and recitations was a new venture in the school, and was highly successful. It was sponsored by iMr. Brooks. The program was as follows: Piano Solo, "Columbine," by Betty Elliott. Recitation, "IValtz in C Sharp Minor," Marjorie Hill. Vocal Solo, "Down Here," by iMary O'Donnell. Recitation, "Dominique," by Hattie Young. Piano Solo, "Chanson Russe," by Barbara Allyrork. n ELDING 14 azhwg Lawn mowera aazibias in metda Ferazw repairs, ter zad grave! roaf'eg Berrard Sheet lieiai Works Phone Nwth 84K FOUNDATION CEMENT WORK- Lzlldsceplag slid Lawns iakL Rock waRs, drains, septiC tasks, fendag sad land clearing, chimneys zwi furnaces deaaed aad repaitmk Phoae T. Bztnott, razdcnce phoae Wszt 290}L It is prophesied in the States that at present rates there will be one divorce in 1940 to every three marriages, that by the year 2000 every marriage will end in'divorce, and in the suc- ceeding years divorces may ex- ceed marriages. If this prognos- tication turns out to be correct, I am very sorry that my years will prevent my being present on this earth in 2000, for the U.S. should be then a most int- eresting bear garden, not a beer garden. The men are going to have 0 most thrilling time dodg- ing away from past wives, and there will be a deal of shell shock and hair puling. Frankly, hovt- ever, I don't understand the statement about the succeeding years, when the divorces are to exceed the marriages. It seems to me to savor of the fourth di- mension or Einstein's theory of relativity, the truth being prob- ably that the professor making the prophecy took a drink of squirrel whiskey before explod- ing the third and last portion. We hope. anyhow, that it is the last we shall hear from him, or most of us will reach the asylum through trying to ilgure out what exactly he is driving at. LAWN ISOWERS SHARPENED-- Ezperiznced with zii wskea WILL CUT LIKE NEW." West Vancou- ver hizchiae Shop, 1449 Marina PAINTING. K ALSOMLNI.iG, PA- PBRi.iG. C. I Koaiaga West 894B W. C. T. U. On Thursday, May 12th, the monthly meeting of the W. C. T. U. will be held in the Baptist Church, 15th Avenue at 2:15 p.m. Mrs. Shoemaker of Vancou- ver, who is provincial superin- tendent of the Social Hygiene and Child Welfare Department of the W. C. T. U., ivill be pres- ent and deliver an address. The annual election of officers will also be held. FOR RENT--Hoew ea WatzdwaL Apply, Leyiaad, West 68RL SHINGLING eab Roof Reyaizz Lawn mowws gteemt Sawdiiag. N R Ellis, Phone West 184R. Customer: "So you'e got rid of that pretty assistant you had P'ruggist: "Yes; all my men customers kept saying that a smile from her ytss as good as a tonic!" A Padre was seated at the bedside of a Jock free Aberdeen. "You want me to write home to your wife," he remarked. "Aye" replied Jock "Well, what would you like to say?" "I dinna ken," was Jock's answer. "You don't know, then how do you expect me to write? Sup- pose I begdn with, 'My Dearwife'-- "Aye, that'l amuse her." An Embarrassing Qucsiion Preacher: "Dst's as Fine 0 goose as I evah see. Bruddsh IVi}liams. IVhar did yo'it such a fine goose?" Moss: SVell now, pabson, when yo'reach a speshul ser- mon, I never axes yo'haryo'ot it. I hopes yo'ill show me de same consideration." The Rainy Day Arrives Mother: Why, Tommy, what have you done with all your money? Your money-box is empty! Tommy'ell mother vester- dsy was rainy, so I spent it. TO RE.'iT~ room mmicra bmaa Good garden. Number ef good fndt irvea Conveweat ieeziiea, 8ZLOIL Apply John Lawsoa West 6L 514RCELLE SHOP -- Mzreena 50 cents; reset, ssc; sager wave. 754. Photw Mtz, King, Wezi 204. BOARD AND RESIDE.iCE -- 15th sad Beiievua near ferry. Rates at- tractive. Phmw West 458Ll)lay 24th -- Children's Day. Send your donations io one of prize committee or West Van News. Yours truly, B. R. HARRISON. WE HAVE TEN OF THB CHEAP- EST LOTS ia West Vzacoevzr- Somo dew ia. Sate money-awkwz in acct teiwv. Jobe Lswzea, West 55."Yep I had a face like yours once, and when I realized how it made me look, I cut it oif." "Well, I had a face like yours once, ind when I realized that I couldn't cut it oif, I grew this beard." How They Were Raised A negro mzmizy hzd Cour boys who were zo polite azd well-behaved that' they ezdtcd ihe interwt of the mzm-~ my 4 mistress. "Mandy," said the mistress one day, "how dki you manage to raise your boys w weil?" "Ah1I tell you, missus," rep'lied Handy. "Ah raise dern boys with a barrel sieve, sad Ab raised 'em fre- iilicllh FOR SALE or BXCHANGE -- Ie thv City, may 5 rmua bungalow ivziiw 52400) zenuaer house, garage, fruit trees. Full pismbiag. 2 ioiz. Nice iocziipe. Phona Wwt 5L Tekv Cetazga' zdvIw zll4 Bef Azmese in ~ piece with ~ future. Aetvege in gaed iocauoaz ftma 850 ep. Apply John Lawsoa. West sa FREE ACREMETER SERVICE AT GEM lill.L'S STORE G. Gemmill, agent for Kelly Piano Stores, has hsd an Acre- meter, the marvelous new tube tester, installed in his store for the convenience of IVcst Van- couver radio owners. This ast- ounding tube analizer can test and match radio tubes right be- fore your eyes, showing how they are working in your radio. Flee tube cartons obtainable at the store In order that you may carry your tubes safely. There is no charge whatever for this service. "The poorer one is, the more devils one meets." The Cook Shop Geo. Hay2476 liiarine Drive ) $ AFTERNOON TEAS LIGHT LUNCHES 'ANDWICHES NOTARY PUBLIC REAL ESTATE A iD INSURAIbCE 1405 Mzrize Ddvw Phase West 21 m Setavw 1260 Evwdzzz wwi 204X Fresh Devonshire Cream on Saturdaya PhoneAll llome Cooking r hh f v ~ hh V' hhh 1 hhhhV