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0001 r dr dr ~ rm r vd er v ~V rwA w' d"~ ~ d V" dt mme 'dp-'r '.rrdu r'wdz Sw- 4, 'cired d"drwr'd d. c"'d'c ivr. ' rr rd-r. rr w re. I Vdr roc'rr'rr r'dtVrrcrrr~. ,-rr r rvr r '.. rwr 'rr rrrr rr THE WEST VA N N EWS Ch&irChNer Nurse's Trial Little John: "Mummy, do people who try hard get on T" Mother: "Of course they do, dear, but why?" Little John: "Well, nurse says fm the most trying child she' ever come across." The teacher was talking about parrot-fever, and warned his scholars never to kiss animals or birds, especially parrots, can- aries, and so on. "Can you give me an instance Jackie c" he asked. "Yes, sir; my Aunt Emily used to kiss her lap-dog!" oYes, and-- c" wAnd it died." Robinson was wheeling a pram containing his small baby across the common, when he was stop- ped by a friend. "What is your baby going to be when he grows upo" asked the friend. "A blackmailer, I'm afraid," replied Robinson tersely. "Why," cried his friend in astonishment, "what makes you say thatT" "WelL we have to give him something every now and again to keep him quiet," returned the father. Right Enough An angler sat on the bank of a canal in Yorkshire, watching his float. Presently a bishop came along with his pretty daughter. "hfy friend," said the bishop, "I perceive that you are a fisher.'Aye,o grunted the angler. "I also am a fisher." "Eh, is that soaT" said the man with the rod; "well, Ah'm pleased to meet a fellow-sports- manje "Ah, but there is a misconcep- tion in your mind. You are s fisher of fishes, but I am a fisher of men." The angler turned and survey- ed the daughter. "Aye," he said at last, wandwi'ait like yon you ought to get a good bsg an'll." Suit Salesman: "And how would you like a belt in the back and a cuff on the pants?" Freshman: "Not so well. How would you like a poke in the nose 7" Still Rising A Yorkshire married s wife who could not bake, so he decid- ed to make the bread himself. He bought the flour and other necessary components for a loaf of bread, and then remembered he must have some yeast. "Give me five bob's worth o'arm,"he said to the grocer. The following afternoon his wife, who was having a nap, called down to him: "Have you got the bread in the oven yet, Jack?" "Oven did you say. lass?" asked the exhausted man, "why its taking me sll my time to keep it in the kitchen I" THE 131'RNING 13USH By Subadar At this time, when so much effort is being expended In fur- thering good will among nations, it is peculiarly unfortunate that the contest for the Harmsworth Cup in Detroit should have end- cxi as it did . Among two such sport-loving nations as the Am- ericans and the British, interna- tional contests in sports are quite capable of becoming inter- national incidents, Gar Wood ap- pears to be utterly graceless. Not only does he play a trick, be- cause he had the slower boat, but he almost boasts of having done so. England, however, need not trfouble further about his actions or him, because respon- sible American opinion will see to it that he has no further op- portunities of displaying his trickiness. He has chosen the quickest way of bringing a noted career in his particular field of sport to an inglorious ending. "The toad beneath the harrow knows Exactly where each tooth point goes. The butterfly upon the road, Preaches contentment to that toad." In view of these words of Kip- ling, and no truer words were ever penned, I almost hesitate to remark upon the regrettable ten. dency among very many of the unemployed to regard authority in general as not really trying to help them. Some extremists even almost go as far ss to say that the powers-that-be don' care. While not blaming them for this attitude, for an empty stomach is not conducive to either thought or reason, they should remember there is not a man in authority anywhere who fails to realize that, unless the unemployment question is solved unemployment will dissolve civil. ization. Anyone with an effec- tive practical remedy would be so quickly grabbed by every government as to be in danger of being tom in pieces. That msn will be he who dis- covers the formula for getting food and clothing, etc., without having to pay for it in money or kind, either at the time or later, for that is the nigger in the woodpile, snd he's some nigger. C.l'.R. TUNNEl. NOT READY U NTII 1932 Although the Railway Board has granted the Canadian Pacific Railway an extension, until De- cember 31, of the time fixed for completion of the railway tunnel under the city, it Is not likely that the project will be complet- ed until the middle of next year. Advice to this effect has been received by City Solicitor J. B. Williams, who was asked by the Vancouver City Council to learn why the Railway Board granted the extension order. The city knew nothing of plans to ask for advancement of the comple- tion date. hfr. Williams states that the ex-parte application was made by Montreal officials of the com- pany, who were advised by the Vancouver office that the work could not be completed before the end of the year. Another extension may be asked later, when engineers have a more definite idea of when the work will be finished. TAX hIORITORIUhi PLAN SUGGESTED An amendment to the hIuni- cipal Act, extending the period for payment of taxes on homes and property of resident tax- payers, will be submitted at the forthwoming convention of the Union of British Columbia Mun icipalities in New Westminster, the North Vancouver City Coun- cil decided Tuesday night. The measure, if adopted, will be of great aid to unemployed ratepayers unable to pay taxes and in danger of losing their homes. The act at present only extends the period of paymeut for soldiers, soldiers'idows snd orphans. A communication from the Unemployed Workers'ssocia- tion, protesting against present city relief measures, was receiv- ed and filed. TOLL SERVICE EXTENDED With Gibson's Landing, Lyt- ton, Ashcroft and Fender Har- bor as switching stations, a fur- ther extension of long-distance telephone service to a number of B. C. points is now effective. The extension is made possible through connections recently es- tablished between the Dominion Government telephone service and the long-distance lines of the B. C. Telephone Company. By way of Gibson's Landing service is established with Hop- kins Landing, Seaside Park, Port Mellon, Roberts Creek, Wilson Creek, Sechelt, Donleyls Land- ing, Hillside, Half Moon Bay, Redroofs, Grsntham's Landing and Selma Park; Lytton is the switching point for Craig Lodge, Lfilooet and way stations; by way of Ashcroft, Clinton and stations as far as the 160-Mile House are reached; and a Pender Harbor connection links Blubber Bay, Vsnanda, Lund, Savary Is- land and Bliss Landing with the B. C. Telephone Company's toll system. NEIV FERRY LANDING Tender of Vancouver Piledriv- ing & Construction Co. Ltd., for construction of a 176-foot lead at the Vancouver ferry wharf at a cost of 32770 was accepted by the North Vancouver City Coun- cil Tuesday night. The bid was the lowest. The lead will be built on the east side of the Vancou- ver landing, adjoining the new Canadian National pier at Main Street. Irish Potato Salad Boil 6 potatoes until very soft, peel and mash. While hot, sea- son to taste with salt, pepper, and spice, and add 1 teaspoon butter. Boil 2 eggs and dissolve the yolks in 2 tablespoonsful vinegar. Pour over potatoes and mix well. Put in dish, slice thu egg whites and put over pota- toes. Potato Salad Dressing Two eggs, butter size of egg, 1 teaspoon mustard, I table- spoon cornstarch or flour, 2 cups water, I cup vinegar. When cold add sour cream. Let cool before adding the eggs. A shipment of Jamaica fruit has arrived in Victoria. West Vancouver'u First SchooL 1 ' I I'ROGRFSS hlADE ON I IONS'ATE TUNNFL Excellent progress ls being inade on construction of north and south shafts for the Greater Vancouver Water DlstricPs 61r 000,000 pressure tunnel under the Lions'ate, it is reported by Northern Construction Co. and J. W. Stewart Ltd., contractors. The south shaft, situated In Stanley Park, is down twenty- five feet. The north shaft will be in water near Capilano pipeline road. A working platform has already been placed there in pre- paration for sinking a caisson. The tunnel will be bored at a depth of about 300 feet below ses level, where it will be In solid rock. It will be 7Vz feet in diameter. The shafts will be eight feet in width. Northern Construction Co., which also has the C.P.R. tunnel contract, reports excavation completed for a distance of 1675 fest. Concrete lining has been finished for 1176 feet. Erection of a fan house at the west portal is nearly finished. SLEhlr From busy housewives and mothers we hear a protesting chorus: "Take a nap'I What are they talking about'? We don' have any time!" Yes, you do. Lie down while the baby iu taking his nap. Lie down after the children go back to school. Leave some of your work undone if necessary. It will be there when you wake up? Of course it will, but you can do it all the more quickly after you rest. Even if you can't go to sleep, lie down and relax for fifteen minutes every day. If possible, rest in a room by yourself away from all the things which bother you. A daily rest period, however short, will help smooth the wor- ried wrinkles out of your face. The nap habit will increase your poise and charm Sleep with open windows. Have some air in your room every night of the year. It is more healthful not to have heat in the room in which you sleep. During the warm weather it is very healthful as well as com- fortable'to sleep out of doors. September 11. 1931.. Hollybura THEATRE Thursday, Prhlay aud Saturday Sept. 10, ll, lE 'Sit Tight'lih JDE fl BROWN WINNIE l.l(iHTNER hlouday, Tuesday a Wednesday 9 pl ie, lz, ld, "Virtuous Husbands" fgxcelleui Comedy) WlNNING NUMSEllsi-- No. ZCSO wou by Miss Mc- Eweu, Duchess ave. No. Seze -- Teu Dollars-- Unclaimed The BURRARD LAUNDRY 0 i4 nrmilcs For I'eoplu Who Ars Particular Agent for SWAN BROS., DRY CLEANERS THIRD ST. aml ST. DAVIDS North Vancouver Phone North 1310. West Van Representative F. RIVERS Phone West 410L ! FURNACE and SHEET METAL REPAIRS Ambleside Sheet Metal%VOEks LAURIE SPECK, Proprietor 1446 Marine Drive Phone West 43?L2 5 K.W. Savory 1443 Marine Drive Ambleside Phone West 340 Evenings, West 143 v, cpi F Real Estate Finance and Insurance C BARROW'q GARDEN First Prize 1930. Half: Do you know how they take the census in Scotland T Wi t: No. How? Half: Roll a penny down the street. SEND IN YOUR ENTRIES West Vancouver Horticultural Association Fifteenth Annual Fall Exhibition In Dundarave Hall Saturday, Sept. 12,th Doors open at Z.SU p.m.