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0001 May 29, 1931 ~y'.W.Savory Cheer Chatty.r 1443 Marine Drive Am bi aside Hard Luck! Mike was walking with Re- becca along the High Street when he noticed a large bill ln the window of a tailor's shop reading, "Overcoats for a Mere Song." "Oh, Rebecca," he said dismal- ly, "just look at that, an"e lorst me voice." Phone 1Vest 340 Evenings, West 143 "4& Real Estate Finance and Stumped! Frank's mother had got tired of telling him not to tease the cat. "Now, Frank," she said, "if you pull that poor cat's ears 0- gain, I shall pull yours." For some time a!I was quiet and Frank's mother continued with her cooking. Suddenly she heard the cat meowing and hastened to find Frank. "Now, what did I tell your'he said, threateningly. "But, mummy," p I e a d ed Frank, "I didn't pull his ears. I pulled his taiL" Hend of the House? Heed of the House (in angry tones): "Who on earth told you to put that paper on the wall?" Decorator: "Your wife, sir." Head of the House: "Pretty, isn't it?" Insurance "COI.I.EFN" AT THE HOLI.YBURN THEATRE ri West Vancouver lovers of good clean comedy thronged the Hol- lyburn Theatre on Wednesday, May 20th, to witness the presen- g ation by the St. Patrick's Play- «)» of Vancouver of the highly- d verting comedy-drama "Colleen." The sprightly, exhilarat- ing music of a special city or- chestra put the large audience in just the right mood to enter into Pi':. the spirit of the entertainment provided. The lively sallies of the C01- leen, in the person of Miss Rose Chalmers, simply rocked the house with hearty, honest-to- goodness laughter. The unsym- pathetic and most difficult role of the hectoring Elder Sister was tt". "- ~ admirably handled by Miss Norah Hall; while Dick Clarke himself left nothing to be de- sired in his portrayal of Dad, the travelling salesman, who, after 25 years, finally discovers his - .. rightful place in his own home. The supporting caste merited „ the hearty rounds of applause'; which greeted successful eiiort. After the show the players ,:t+ql"!were delightfully entertamed at the home of Mrs. Clarke, 26th and Marine, while the members of the orchestra will retain very -'leasant memories of their won- "derful reception at the home of Mrs. Goodwin, 21st and Argyle. It wax evening time in one ot the 'ondon hospitals, xxd the norse on ?gal:duty in the children's ward wxx giv- ing the little ones their teat meal for the day. All save one were patiently waiting „'. 'heir turn io be served, the one in 'i+question being x rosy-cheeked little I'; convalescent, who wxx calling lustily l' ter hcr portion. 1 "Aren't yox Just x little impatient, j?orsthyt" asked ihs kindly nurse, yOtrJvith a tinge of correction In her .oxe "No, I'm soil" retorted Dorothy, piwmptty, "I'm 4 little xhe-pal!exit" A small boy carrying 0 dinner- basket stopped to gaze at a street grate. "That's the grate my hatfwrown rolled down," he confided to a burly navvy work- ing close by. The navvy pricked up his ears, but all he said was: "You cut along now, with yer Dad's dinner and don't stand loitering till it'5 cold." Half an honr later the boy returned that way and saw the navvy busy at the street grate. "Are you sure this was the grate your half-crown went down?" he asked, wiping his forehead, "Sure!" said the lad, " 'Cos I watched my Dad get it up!" Figxre It Oui. "I'l tell you how li is," said the mild-eyed patient io the asylum doc- tor. "I mei x young widow with 4 grown daughter xnd 1 married the widow. Then my father met my step- daughter xxd married her, That made my wife the mother-ix-taw of her father-ix-law, xnd my step-daughter my step-mother xnd my father be- came my step-xon. Then my step- mother, my wife's daughter, had x eon. That boy wax, of course, my- step-brother, because he wax my father's xox; bui he wxs also the sox of my wife's daughter aad therefore her grandson. That made me grand- father to my step-brother, Then my w.te hxd a son, my brother-tn-txw. The step-sister ot my xon lx also hk grandmother, because he ls her step- son'x child. My father is the brother- ix-lxw of my child, because the child' step-iixier is my father'4 wite. I am the brother ot my sox, who is also the child of my grandmother. I xm my mother's brother-lx-lxw, my wile lx her owx chud'a aunt. bly xoa ix my txiherix nephew xnd I am my owx grxxdtather. Can you wonder I can'. stand ill May the roof above you never fall in, and may those beneath it ; never fall out. Hollyl8urn Garage 1603 Marine Drive Ceaeral Auto Repairs Specializing in- Brake Lining and Battery Repairs. H. Davison O'on Phone West 100 Thelma: "He is so obstinate." Violet: "In what way?" Thelma: "It's the hardest thing in the world to convince him that I am always right." 1 /'est Vancouver Conservative Association A MEETING in THE FORTUNE CUP INN on Tuesday, 2nd June at 8 p. m. THE 1VEST VAN NEWS TAG DAY ON SATURDAY What Is It For? The scope of the Sunlight School and Clinic at North Van- couver is not so widely known as it deserves to be. For several years, Mrs. Graham, the teach- er and nurse In charge, has carried on her splendid work of educating and caring for the backward, crippled and sub-nor- mal children who have come to her. Many friends have helped in this humane undertaking, es- pecially the Lady Laurier Club and the Junior League. Under the rules by which they are governed, the Crippled Chl- dren's Hospital and the Solarium at Mill Bay, can only take pati- ents up to a certain age. It is then that the need of occupation. al training to enable a physcally or mentally handicapped boy or girl to become in some measure sell-supporting, is most appar- ent. There are so many little ones and "borderline" boys and girls to whom such training as suggested would be the greatest boon and blessing that could pos- sibly come into their lives. The quarters at present occu- pied by the Sunlight School and Clinic at North Vancouver are quite inadequate to the increas- ing demands made by the vari- ous aspects of the undertaking. Larger and brighter rooms are required for the handicraft as well as the ordinary classes that fill each day with work and hap- piness for those attending. It is to help provide these more spaci- ous quarters that the Tag Day on Saturday Is being held both in North and West Vancouver. It is a well known fact that many children, who, for various reasons must remain uneducated so far as the ordinary school cur riculum is concerned, respond in an amazing fashion to the teach- ing of handicrafts, manual train ing, etc. Even the mentally re- tarded child can, with patient encouragement, become quite adept at weaving and other crafts. It is humane and eco- nomically sound to give to those, who, from accident, disease, etc., are so poorly equipped for the battle of life, an opportunity to achieve some small measure of independence and self-expres- 851011. How well Nurse Graham, as- sisted by Miss Vera Meyers of West Vancouver, who is a skill- ed weaver, are demonstrating the wonderful response of the re tarded child to original creative tasks can be seen by anybody who will call at the Sunlight Schoel and Clinic at 120 West First Street, North Vancouver-- where Mrs. Graham will be only too delighted to tell and show the good work being actually ac- complished. IVhite undeveloped mental pro- cesses are being carefully en- couraged to function normally, weak and deformed little bodies are being restored to health and a measure of physical wholeness by Light Treatments under the Alpine Lamp--the contribution of the Lady Laurier Club. These Light treatments are a part of the school routine of every dsy. The welfare and happiness of the crippled child carries 0 great human appeal. The majority of the cases being so wonderfully helped by Nurse Graham--the North Shore'6 Lady of the Lamp --sre on the free list. Help is needed to carry on. In upporting the Tag Day on Saturday, all who are privileged to do so will be holding up the hands of those who are helping the helpless to help themselves. So Sad! Suitor: "I wish to marry your daughter." Fond Father: "I absolutely re- fuse to let you." Suitor: "Why, what's wrong with herl" Mistress: "Elizabeth, I found a cobweb in the dining room. How do you account for it?" Elizabeth: "Why, mum, it must have been spun by a spid- et', FURNISHED BED-ROOM tm Young lady. Near beach xsd terry. Phone West 878L. WANTED--Kncbex Rxxge xxd Mi bvd Rexxxsxblm Muii be is good cvx- dition. Phone West 89. SPECIAI. 10c POT PLANT SALE- Fxchxisx, Petaalas, tkgonlsx, eic. Regular 12-ix. basket, nicely furn- ished, 31.00. LANDSCAPING. Mxtxtexxxcc, Fwim xnd roch work. Shrubs xxd plants supplied from owx xxmerixx. Cxpil- ~no Nxrxerlex. West 104R2. FOR SALE--Ford Sedan, late tpLL Good Condition, 526. Pboxx West 213L. FOR SALE--Cotxmbk Cxbha» Grxw- xphoxe. Goad shape, 310. Phone 21st FOR SALE--Boy's Bkyck ix srxi class condition. Phone Wcxi 69618. FOR RENT -- Attmctirc Bxxgxtow turxkh»d or partly tarxlxhaL Newly decorated. Full plmxbixg. Fireplace. Gxmge. Phone West 427L. FOR SALE -- Lady'x 865 bicycle. Nexriy new, for 326. Phone West 63R1. WEBB'S SHOE REPAIRS WEAR BEST--Duadxrxvs. NEW GARDENS CONSTRUCTED- Origixxl designs lx garden dec»xx- ttoxx, Lawns, Pxibx, Artistic Rock Gardens xxd Pools, Landscape Gxr- demxg, xll bmxchxx Maderatc rlcex. R. J. Kyle, rmidexce phone esi 69L8. FERTII.IZERS -- Bone Meat, Fish Meal, Stxndxrd Triangle B., eic. Vernon Feed Store, West 9. FOUNDATION CEhtENT WORK-- Landscaping axd Lawns laid. Rack wxnx, drains, septic tanks, teasing axd land clearing, chimneys axd tur»cxx cleaned xxd repaint Pt. i T. Bxrxoti, residence phase W .. 290K MARCELLE SHOP -- Mxmxuc, 50 eexuu reset, 35c; Sager wxva, 764. Phone Mrx. King, West 804. Dilficult "If I put my money into the Post Oifice Savings Bank," said Bill, "when can I draw it out again?" "Oh," answered the Post Of- fice clerk, "if you put it in today, you can get it out tomorrow by giving three days'otice." Incurable Wife: "The doctor says he has given you a new lease of life." Husband: "!veil, he hasn't left me much with which to pay the rent." Who Would? Smith: A fortune-teller said I should go to prison for embezzl- ing money entrusted to me. Jones: Don't believe it. 1vho would entrust money to you? Bert Gisby MAIL DELIVERY--Doors sited wah letter box plates. Phone West 83R, atter 6 p. xi. LOWER FL4N)R TO RENT--Parity torsixbed. Modern. 36JIO. Phase Wwt 88R after 5 p.w. RADIO REPAIRS by Lwmt ExpmL Satisfaction gxxrxxmwt. Phone Wxsi 89. ROCKERY AND ALPINB PLANTS tiw xslc from large cotkctka. C. G. Barrow, Cw»mr 24th xxd Nxlam. Phone tpmt 98L? FOR SALE--Eaiira block xxmpriaxx Cour large tots xxd?. room cottage with ekciric light. Woadcrtxt view ~djotsixg park oa high level bxI rmttx, 81A00. Apply Bax 23, West Vxx Nxwx. TO RENT -- Cxtxrakhat tosr-room cotmgv from July lxi. Puli phiwb. ixg, gxidxs, 625. Phone Wcxi 674L titST--Gold Brooch with pearl vet- ting in centre xi txgkwoad High School, Mxy 25th. Phone West 56R2 FOUR-FOOT ALDER xxd Sieved, dxy 64A0 cord. Special prrwx os cmd lots. Ptmxc West 176. LOST--Big Btxe Bxtmrgy Brooch xi Amblesidc Patt, Mxy 25th. Keep- mke. Reward. Phone West 147R1. FORCED SALE -- Dowbk Coram. xwett homesite, 1981 taxes paid, 8375 cask Box 81, West Vxx Nxwa. GLASS A»tD GLAZING Mirrmx re- silvered; automobile glxxx. Jbx Holt. % ext 27. FOR PLUMBING BEPAIBS -- Bcs idexee Phoae West 241R. YOUTH WANTS WOBK or Odd Jobs phone West 39. CANADIAN LEGION Employment Department. Handy men for xll work Phone West 71Y. ALL THB BEST Brxsdx ot Cigars, Cigarettes xxd Tobaccos. Ako Ex- change Poka Hands xnd Consol cards Free, Amblexiik Tex Rooms. FOR THE BEST SLABS xxd lxxidx Fir phone West 230. TEA51LiG. Grading P!»mghkg Land Clearing, ttxxxie. Dxy or Contract. Phone K L Leavy, Garden Avc Cxpnxnm FOR PAINTING. KALSOMLllNG- Apply C I Kiwixgx, Bxxidxsix phone West 894R. GEO. HAY Established 1912 Real Estate and Insurance Notary Pxbne FIRE INSURA,lCE FOR RENT--Fxrxistmd xxd Uxtma- ishxd Houses. Mosey A»snab'c for Miwigxgcx oa "Modera Bomee" 1405 Marine Drive Ottiex Phoae West 21 or Sey. 1260 Reeidescx Phone W. 02R ar W. 204X Bill Thompson WEST VAN. OIPERIAL SERVICE STATION 14th and Marine Drive %VEST 444 Repairs of all kinds, Gas, Oil, Tires, Accessories. Battery Charging, Wrecker'ervice, Electric Hoist, Washing and Polishing. GREASING and SPRAYING, 31.00 VANCOH'ER CREOSOTING CO„LTD. NORTH VANCOUVER CLASSIFIED ADS The rate tnr Clxwtswt Advmtbawvxm k 2 cxsix per weak aixlasa 25 cexm. Fxcipi lx tbe caw of itwxe hxvlxg rvgxkr sc»wxxts, xn riswd- Sxdx xrv pxyxbtx xtririty ia xdrxxce. Remember Ctawtsmk la the West Vxs News gci lawalixia rmxax. x 'V *