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001C9682 January 4, 1929. Whimsical Review TRUSTEE i~!RS. ROBINSON VISITS CAPILAiiiO SCHOOL THE 4VEST VAN NEAVS Council Notes CLASSIFIED ADS Quite Sure of It. A gentleman met an "uncer- tain" acquaintance and the latter said, "I'm a little short and should like to ask you a conun- drum in mental arithmetic." "Proceed," said the gentleman. "IVell," said the "short" man, "suppose yoii had ten ponds in your pocket, and I should ask you for five pounds, how much would remain?" "Ten pounds," was the prompt answer. Dr. A. C. Guther says that man probably lost his hair when he first started to light fires. It ivould seem that prehistoric. i%lore in It. First Fisherman: "I'e not sen ye oot wi'he boats this week, Andra. Hae ye gi'en it Up ~ Second Fisherman (who lets rooms): "Weel, no"togither. Since the fowks are comin'ere to spend their holidays I'e be- come a fish'r o'en, like the disciples o'uld, ye ken." He IVondered The schoolmaster took his boys to church and the next day one said to him: "Please, teacher, did the preacher sa:, that the black children didn't wear any clothes'. "Yes, my boy, he did," was the reply. After looking puzzled a mo- ment the boy said: ")Veil, what good &vill that button be that you put in the collection bag?' " Sergeant (angrily): "Button up that coat!" Married Recruit (absent-mind- edly): "Yes, my dear." Only That He had just been appointed on the "road" staff of a firm of wholesale chemists, and this was his first call. It should also be mentioned that he was always honest and truthful. "Have you anything for grey hair?" asked the white-haired chemist. "Nothing but the greatest re- spect!" replied the truthful trav- eller. Five-year-old Daughter: "Look at that funny man across the road." Nother (looking in shop win- dow): "EVhat is he doing?'Sittingon the pavement talk- ing to a banana skin." Strange An American had been speak- ing in a sperior manner to an Englishman, who was very bor- ed. At last the American said: "Of course, you know the Eng- lish can never see a joke." "Is that so?" replied the Eng- lishman. "Then will you please explain how it is that I have seen you?s& "who was Shylock, Aunt Eth- ] &)I ~ "hIy dear'! And you go to Sunday School and don't know that!" Patrick's Defense Pat O'Flaherty, very palpably not a prohibitionist, was arrest- ed in Arizona recently charged ivith selling liquor in violation of the prohibition law. But Pat had an impregnable defense. His counsel, in addressing the jury said: "Your honor, gentle- men of the jury, look at the de- fendant." A dramatic pause, then: "Now gentlemen of the jury, do you honestly think that if the de- fendant had a quart of whisky he would sell it?'he verd!ct reached .'in one minute was "Not guilty." Truste hfrs. Robinson report- ed to the Board that she had at- tended the Capilano School for closing exercises held on Friday, December 21st, and said that the school had been nicely decorat- ed and the exercises carried out very creditably. The Board de- cided to send a letter of thanks to the Capilano Timber Company and conveying the appreciation of the Hoard for the services given by the camp authorities. ANNUAL HALL IN AID OF NORTH SHORE HOSPITAI. The AVomen s Auxiliary to the North Vancouver General Hospi- tal will hold its annual hospital ball in the K. P. Hall next Friday evening, January 11. Cards will be provided for those not desir- ing to dance, and hfrs. C. R. Lane is in charge of table reservations. The committee in charge con- sists of Mrs. A. D. hfacInnes, hfrs. C. NacDonnell, Nrs. F. AV. Dalton, hIrs. C. R. Lane, hfrs. G. S. Hanes, Mrs. J. J. Thomas, Mrs. H. hf. Prout, Mrs. Jack Loutet, hfrs. George Campbell, hIrs. J. hf. IVhyte, Mrs. M. D. Campbell, hfrs. J. B. Leyland, Mrs. R. V. McCarley, hfrs. Vaug- han, Mrs. E. Read, AIrs. R. Nor- ton and hIiss G. hf. Currie. The auxiliary has undertaken to furnish two five-bed wards in the new hospital that will be completed in a feiv months. Instructions were given that a letter be sent the Canada Per- manent Trust Co. that the chair- man of the board of works had interviewed Richards, Akroyd 8: Gall and received from them an assurance that they would im- mediately take up the matter of the suggested transfer with the Caulfeild Estates. EVith regard to the alleged in- croachment on the foreshore at Horseshoe Bay by Jos. Rogers, an engineer's plan was ordered sent to the superintendent of lands, Victoria, showing the po- sition of hfr. Rogers'etaining wall ~ A letter from F. H. Almas re- garding a tax sale refund was laid over. A petition was received from Colin Sollowny and sixteen other ratepayers asking to have the road on Ottawa Avenue between 24th and 25th Streets opened for traffic. The matter was refer- red to the incoming council. In connection with the EVhyte- cliff Road extension the engineer reported on the survey party, suggesting that engineer hfilne and the hearl chainman be given one month's notice, as the work is almost completed. The mat- ter was referred to consulting engineer Hanes. PIANOFORTE -- ~liss Frame takes pupils. Charges moderate. 26th and Marine. West 467L3. % ORK W 4 iTED BY LADY--Day or hour. Phone Mrs. Williams. West 642R. SEE BILL COLVIN about Life Insur- ance. Special Agent The Mutual Life of Canada. Seymour 6670, West 389X. LOSP--&own umbrella oa bus ferry on New Year's Eve. ~ est 659L. LOST--Pair of Fawn Suede Glores on Thursday last week between 25th Street and Dundarave Pier. Re- ward. Phone West 457Li. THREE I'UPPIES--Six Weeks'ld. Given free to good homes. West 404L. DR. AND AIRS. DORCHESTER GIVE I'ARTY AND DANCE A very enjoyable time was spent at the home of Dr. and hIrs. F. E. Dorchester on EVed- nesday evening, when hIiss IVin- nie Dorchester entertained a number of her young friends at a party and dance. Among the guests were the following; Mrs. Lestock Reed, i~fr. and hfrs. Gor- don Gray, Ernest Stenson, Reg- gie Haworth, Miss Nancy Rud- olph, Miss Sybil Chapman, hfiss Jean watson, ihfiss Villa McLean- Miss Gladys Reid, Miss Nina Gray, Miss Audrey Lester, Miss Sue Procter, h!iss Barbara Reid, Miss Joan Dorchester,Vernon Lester, Charles Chapman, Alan hfcIntyre, Murray watson, Douglas Johnston, Bobbie Rud- olph, B. Upton, Fred Procter and Frank Dorchester. FOR RENT--Fire Room hlodern Stucco Bungalow, furnace, hard- wood floors, sleeping porch, good view. Rent $35. Phone West 78, 10 a. m. to 3 p. r.".. SCH~VEPPE8 LEQIONADE CAN ADA DRY GI~GERALE and all the Good Brands of Cigars at Ambleside Tea Rooms FOIE SALE med Oak Dining Room Saite of 6 chairs (including one armchair) buf fet. round extension table. Price $75. Also 1 Singer, drop head, treadle, sew- ing machine, $30.00. Might consider trade for lot on hill or sell on easy terms to responsible party. Apply--C. G. Barrow, Dundarave. FOUNDATION AND CE&IENT Work Landscaping. Lawns, F e n c i n g, Drains, Rock Walls, Clearing, Grad- ing, Septic Tanks. T. Barnott, West 672R. The home of Captain and hfrs. Glen had a very festive appear- ance on Thursday of last week when their two daughters and their son who are spending their school holidays at home, enter- tained a large party of their young friends. WANTED--A waterfront vacant Lot or one with house. Apply "Water- front," cto News. NORTH SHORE ELECTRIC for wiring~ Radio~ Fixtures. Get our prices. Phone 79, North Van- couver. SEWING WAa ITED Ladies'nd Children's work Mrs. Bloxham, Phone West 226. WINDOW BLINDS--Made to order and installed. Estimates free. Pearce's Drygoods. 14th Street and Marine. Phone West 144. LANDSCAPE and General Gardening Rock Gardens, Lily and Ornamental Pools, Lawns, Rustic Work, Fencing Concrete Paths, Drives, etc., Prun- ing, Spraying, Painting and Kalso- mining, Repairs. R. J. Kyte, Phone West 172X1. Pi,g~6i "li~ii~ HMISTITCHING--Plain white 5c yard; suk and colo~ 10 ya~Pearce's Drygoods, 14th Street and Marine Phone West 144 RADIO--&lareoni and Stewart-Warn- er, Batteryless, demonstrated at our shop. Before buying a radio see these. West Van. Electric (JackPaterson). FOUR ROO51 COTTAGE -- Water, Light, Phone, Garden, Fine view. Lot 75x129; $850, terms. ~ ~ I nhe~~~& ~ " uter (',gi ~e~ncf& nfofpualit rMov'i e.ia-iW'~owens ~j!r'if cane i::l1.".l P~T T BEST ~ ( i (s~ ~ (ou cannotitjr i hei'i!ev VEST VANCOUVER LVVEST. MENT COY. IVest 102 NEWMAN 8 ROBBINS Builders and Contractors--painting p ~»ng"ng and kalsomining, chimneys built, 28th and Marine WEBB'S SHOE REPAIRS WEAR BEST--Dundarave K P. Clark dL Co. (Vancouver) I t SWAMI FOR BUILDER or Handy Man. Partly constructed house. Five 50 foot lots. Quiet location. Specially offered One week $ 1400 BARGAIN IN BUILDING I.OT. Con- venient to school and ferry. $250.easy terms nr $200 cash. EIV FOUR ROOM BUNGALOW. Fireplace, plumbing, bright kitchen, cement basement, furnace. Very cheap at $2S50. Terms. R. P. CLARK dk CO„LTD. 790 Dunsniuir St. Seymour 7484 Local Representative C. J. ARCHER, iVest 2~+. For Quick Action List Your Property with us. Fire insurance -- lloney to Loan GEO. HAY Notary Public 1405 Marine Drive Office Phone IVest 21 or Sey. 1260 Residence Phone W. S2R or 4V. 04X HO Oa. nXS: UXOR% ~ VANCOUVER BRITISH COL