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001C97E4 August 2, 1929. Whimsical Review The magistrate eyed the pris- oner sternly. "IVhat's your name?" he de- manded. Now the culprit had a sad hes- itancy in his speech, but he did his best. "Sis-sis-sis-sis!" he began. "Good gracious!" said the magistrate, turning to a con- stable. "what is he charged with?" "I don't know, sir," came the reply, "but I think it is soda water." Mr. Newlywed: "This steak tastes queer." airs.: "I can't understand it, dear, I did burn it a little, but I rubbed vaseline on it right a- way. A man was taken ill and his wife hurried him to the hospital. "Has he got pajamas?" said the matron, as she arranged for his admission. "Pajamas!" exclaimed the wife. "I dunno what it is, but he's got an awful pain in the stummick." Harold: "EVhat kind of a watch have you got?" Arthur: "A wonder watch." Harold: "SVonder watch! Nev- er heard of that before." Arthur: "AVell, you see it's like this: Every time I look at it I ivonder what time it is." A motor car ran over a man' toes, and he sued the driver for damages. ! "Great Scot t!" gasped thedriver, "you want $200 for a damaged foot? I'm not a mil- lionaire." "Perhaps you ain'," replied the victim, "and I ain't no centi- pede, either." Diner: Waiter, is this chicken soUp? EVaiter: "Yes, sir." "IVell I can't find any chicken in it." "IVell, really, sir, you wouldn' expect to find a horse in horse- radish, would you?" A Scottish farmer, being elect- ed to the school board, visited the village school and tested the intelligence of the class by the question: "Now, boys, can any of you tell me what nathing is?" After a moment's silence a small boy in the back seat rose. "It's what ye gi'd me the c ther day for holding yer horse." DEPUTY ~Il.ti ISTER PHILIP CRITICISES NORTH VAN. DISTRICT COUNCIL Commenting on the recent ac- tion of the North Vancouver District Council in placing a five- ton limit on all loads passing across Keith road bridge over Capilano River, P. Philip, deputy minister of public works, inform- er that council, wednesday eve- ning, that at the time the bridge was examined for the purpose of detouring traffic it was in a state of collapse, and was not safe for any traffic owing to the condition of the chords and decking. "I presume that in closing Yeith Road bridge to all loads in excess of five tons your council has been advised of the strength cf the structure?" asked Mr. Philip, "And I shall be glad to know on what basis the load limit has been arrived at." Mr. Philip pointed out that his department is now strengthen- ing the bridge to carry a load limit in excess of five tons, and added that the bridge, when the repairs are completed, will be safe for any load up to twelve tons. The condition in which the bridge was found at the time of tiie examination was made for the purpose of detouring traffic, Mr. Philip said, "indicated ne- glect in the maintenance of the structure." The letter was referred to committee for consideration. REGATTA AT EAGI E HARBOUR A regatta will be held next Sunday, 4th August, at Eagle Harbour, when a large crowd oi contestants and onlookers is ex- pected. The various events are open to all members of the )Vest 4 ancouver Swimming Club and there will be good prizes for the various competitions. The Van- couver Swimming Club members are holding their annual picnic to Eagle Harbour on that day. BUY GOODSMADE IN CANADA GIVE NORE PEOPlE iRK BRINC BEfT 'IM ~ a a THE WEST VAN NEWS COWBOY PARADES TO BE STAGED AT FAIR CLASSIFIED ADS Entrants for Bronco Busting Title Will Appear on Streets. Coming from all parts of the country, the trek of bucking horses for the world champion- ship stampede at the Canada Pa- cific Exhibition will start over the week-end to the Exhibition grounds, it is stated. Strawberry Red Wall, stam- pede manager, expects horses from the Cariboo. Vernon, Sum- I s, Pedleton, Ellensburg, and other famous places. The great- est bucking horses ever used any where will be seen here, he says. In addition at least twenty-five ex-world champions will compete for the blue riband of bronk rid- ing, while there will be wonder- ful exhibitions of trick roping, riding and other features. There will be an uptown par- ade every day. A class of thirty I.oys is busy at present perfect- ing their techique in roping in readiness for the competition, which will carry with it the juni- or championship of Vancouver. Everything is in readiness for a stampede and large crowds are expected at every session. ELKS ARE PLANNING TO HOLD TWO FLAG DAY CEREIIONIES Two Flag Day ceremonies in- stead of the usual one have been decided on by the Greater Van- couver Elks. The Elks reached this decision after considering the impossibility of the crippled children attending "Kids'ay" a tHastings Park, wednesday, August 7. It is with this thought in mind that the Brother Bills are having a day of amusement for the kiddies of the Crippled Children's Hospital to be held on the hospital grounds, 8264 Hud- son avenue, August 12. Miss Innesi matron of the hos- pital, who will be in charge of the proceedings, has assured the Elks there will be fourteen events, namely, wheel chair race, one-legged race, cart wheel, Percy )Villiams dash, sack race, egg and spoon race, donkey race, flag race, cone stack, Father Time race, silence test and a special event. FOR SALE or EXCHANGE--Four good cleared lots one block from Marine Drive on 23rd. Apply, Mrs. C. J. Cooper, Deroche, B. C. F OR SA LE -- Cupboard and Two Bookcases. Cash. Phone atter p. m. West 157R. FOR SALE--17&g foot Sponson Canoe Safe and speedy. With paddies or engine and 3 horsepower outboard Elto twin engines. Crowther, West 75L3. FOR SA LE -- A uto Tourists Tent, covers car and sleepers. Used only 3 times, $ 10; or would exchange for furniture. Phone West 21 or %est 204 R. lVANTE D-- Room with attend- ance. Near beach. Terms mod- erate. Apply, "Rooms," c'o )Vest Van News. FOUR TUBE RADIO FOR SALE-- Complete with tubes, loud speaker and Batteries, $20. Apply, Martin 1949 Bellevue. Phone West 657L. SEWING WANTED -- Ladies'nd Children's work Mrs. Bloxham, Phone KVest 226. An Established Business "~IEANS" Satisfaction 1912 -- 1929 Ne haie been specializing in )Vest Vancouver since 1912. HOUSES FOR RENT I IOUSES FOR SALE Lots, Acreage, AVaterfrontage, Valuations, etc. GEO. HA.Y Real Estate and Insurance Notary Public 1406 Marine Drive Office Phone West 21 or Sey. 1260 Residence Phone W. 32R or W. 204X R. P. Clark & Co. (Vancouver) Ltd. SACRIFICE SNAP W ATERFRONT LOT, AMBLESIDEi West of Ferry, Bargain Price $ 1400. R. P. CLARK 4 CO., LTD. 790 Dunsmuir St Seymour 7484 Local Representative C. J. ARCHER. West 225. II YOU INiTEVD TO BUILD or Want your house altered or repaired phone Colin Turner, builder, 13th and Haywood. West 679R. WEBB'S SHOE REPAIRS WEAR B EST--Dundarave. PA f'ERH ANG ING and PAINTING-- I specialize in this work. Several years'xperience. For good work phone V. Hernandez, West 678L HEMSTITCII ING--Plain . white.. Sc yard; silk and colored 10c yard. Pearce's Drygoods, 14th Street and Marine. Phone West 144. LEAVINiG FOR CALIFORNIA Will rent four roomed furnished cottage. Garage. Also three roomed cottage on lease. Waterfront. Mr. Edwards 1 l20 Bellevue. GARDEVS DESIGNiED, Laid Out and Maintained. Rock Gardens, Lily and Ornamental Pools, Lawns, Rustic work, Fencing, Concrete Paths, Drives, etc., Pruning and Spraying, landscape and General Gardening k. J. Kyte, Phone West 172X1. FOit lt EVT--Four rooms furnished. Modern. Vt.ry moderate terms for yearly rent. Phone West 6040. FOlt PLU BRIBING REPAIRS--Phoae West 241R. GARDEN HARROWS--Strong, I ig unpainted; price $4.50. delivered subject to approval. Phone North 364 R. iIODEL FORD COACH -- For Sale Perfect condition. Snap price. Phone 20.IX. RANGES F'R SALE' Splendid assortment of used ranges. Com- plete. ly overhauled. Satisfaction guaranteed. Free de'.ivery. Phone I I ighland 3650. YOUNCi LADY Desires work dally Very willing. Phone West 61X. CENTI ENT WORK--Rock Walls, Land- caping, Lawns, Rockeries, Fencing, Trellis work, Clearing, Grading. Phone T. Barnott, 23rd and JeQer- son. Residence, West 672R. FOR SALE--At Snap Price, Hudson touring car. Good condition. New top and new tires. Phone West 356L Kl LN DIIIED PLAN ER ENDS-- Double load delivered, $3.50. Hobb Transfer, West 17. FOR RENT--Four Roomed Modern House; cosily furnished, piano, rent only to responsible party. Phone West 207L TAXI--Peerless Sedan. Day or Night Service. Phnne, Webster North 1234 SCHWEPPES LEMONADE, CAiV- ADA DRY GINGERALE and all the Good Brands of Cigars at The Ambleside Tea Rooms. f4'HITAKER'S SEA CH Mrs. Jenkins had been to a political meeting, and when she returned home she regaled her husband with her party views. "We are going to sweep the country, John," she exclaimed. "Then," remarked her hus- band, "you had better start with the kitchen, dear!" The wealthy old lady was very ill and sent for her lasvyer to make her will. "I wish to explain to you," she said weakly, "about disposing of my property." The lawyer was sympathetic. "There, there, don't ivorry about it," he said soothingly; "ju~ leave it to me." "Oh, well," salt! the old lady, resignedly, "I suppose I might as well. You'l get it anyway." st V "IVhy are you not working ivith the rest?" asked the lady visitor of an inmate in an asy- lum. "I'm crazy," was the candid reply. "But surely crazy people can work," argued the lady. "Yes, retorted the inmate, "but I'm not so crazy as that." A BEAUTIFUL SANDY BEACH NEAR I%EST VANCOUVER Iii a charming sheltered bay. two hours'un from Burrarel Inlet, is located one of the finest sandy beaches in the vicinity of Greater Vancouver. At this delightful spot, children can play on the sands to their heart's content and enjoy the warni-ivatcr bathing, caused by the incoming title over the hot sands. The accessibility of Whitaker's Beach is one of its most attractive features, being situated about tivelve miles this side of Sechelt.