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001C97B0 July 19, 1929. Whimsical Review A Trick Spoiled Conjurer: Now, to help me with this trick, I want the serv- ices of a boy. Just any boy in the audience--yes, you will do, my little man. Come along. Come along. Now you'e never seen me before, have you? Boy: No, father. Unrepententant Jimmy was sent to his room for taking forbidden cake from the sideboard. His mother, after i II was forgiven, said: "Now. Jimmy, what did I punish you for?" ")Veil, mother, I like that!" v-as the reply. "I'e been kept in bed all the afternoon and now you don't know what you did it for." A Sure Sign Polly (to her little brother): Po be quiet, Jack. Don't you hear there's a visitor in the next room? Jack: How do you know? You haven't been in. Polly: But I hear mamma say- ing, "AIy dear" to papa. "Did you ever invent anything «nd ivhat divas the best thing you ever invented?" A schoolmistress tells of a little girl's reply to this. She wrote: "I invented the story that I had won the first place in my class, and my father gave me a shilling." "Papa," said a little boy to his Ijarent the other day, "are not sailors very small men?" "No," answered father. "EVhat leads you to suppose that they are so small?" "Because," replied the young itlea smartly, "I hear of a sailor going to sleep on his watch." IVhat He'd Do The teacher was giving the class a lecture on honesty. "Now then," he said, pointing tt a boy in the back row, "sup- pose a friend lent you his over- coat and, putting it on, you found in one of the pockets a shilling which your friend had complete- ly forgotten about. You ivould- n't keep that shilling, would you 2 "Certainly not, sir!" "That's right," said the teach- er. "What would you do?" "Spend it, sir." Two gentlemen stopped on the street to talk. One was wearing a large diamond tie pin. "Isaacs," said the other, "dot is a fine diamont you have it. Vare you get it?" "Veil," explained Isaacs, "my brother he died unt left $450 for a stone. Unt dis is d'tone." "Pa, what's the difference be- tween a hill and a pill?" "I don't knoiv, my son, un- less it's that a hill is high and a pill is round--is that it?" "Naiv! A hill is hard to get up «nd a pill is hard to get down." The old-time practice of kiss- ing the bride received a jolt at a recent Rowan County wedding when an awkward looking guest was asked if he had kissed the bride, and replied: "Not lately." Johnny had been the guest of &'onor at a party the day before, and his friend Paul was regard- "i»g him with envious eyes. "IIoiv was it".Have a good time?" he asked. "Ditl I?" was the emphatic an- swer. "I ain't hungry yet!" Teacher: "Can you tell me, John. where shingles were first uset! 2" Johnny: "Yes'm; but I'd rath- er not, ma'm." AVEST VANCOUVER TO JOIN BOARD Agreement for Supply of AVater Approved. The municipality of West Van- cnuver has forwarded an agree- ment with Greater Vancouver IVater District and officials of the board will complete the pap- ers immediately, it was decided at a meeting of the council rec- ently. As the agreement is virt- ually in force, having been ap- proved by the municipal rate- payers April 24, district water rates will apply in EVest Vancou- ver as from i~lay 1, although a representative of the municipal- ity will not sit on the board for a few weeks. I'ROV INCIA I. CONSTABLE BARWIS SAVED TiVO SiVIiDI ERS Plunging fully clothed into the waters of Snug Cove, Bowen Island, in response to cries for help, Provincial Constable C. W. A. Barwis rescued ~lrs. J. A. )Ic- I arlane, of Vancouver, and her sister-in-law, who were in im- minent danger of drowning. EVhile bathing, the sister-in- law had got beyond her depth, rind Mrs. AlcFarlane went to her assistance; so that the two wo- men, neither of whom could swim, found themselves flound- ering in nine feet of water. Their cries were heard by Officer Bar- wis, who is stationed at Bowen Island during the summer months, at his cottage several hundred yards distant. He ran to the scene and swam twenty- five yards to the drowning bath- ers, one of whom was nearly unconscious. He conveyed both to the beach. A doctor was sum- moned for the bather who had suffered most, and after work- ing over her for a time, she re- vived. Constable Barwis is a son of the late Major Barwis, and form- erly resided in AVest Vancouver. Before joining the provincial police, he was a major in the Indian army. PUPILS OF AIRS. F. KNIGHT- HODGE SUCCESSFUI. At the examination of the Tor- ~ onto Conservatory of Music held in Vancouver, Miss Barbara All- work gained 1st class honors in junior school pianoforte. Examinations of the Associat- ed Board, Royal Academy and Royal College of Alusic, London, England, "primary pianoforte," Burnice Babcock, distinction and silver medal, gaining 188 marks. Bonnibel Barbour, distinction. "Elementary Piano," Gertrude i~lary Nash, honorable mention, Nary E. Bradshaw, pass. "Louver Division Pianoforte," Betty Elliott, distinction, Mur- ray Allan, pass. THE WEST VAN NEWS II'OU INTEND TO BUILD or Want your house altered or repaired, phone Colin Turner, builder, 13th and Haywood, West 679R. TEN AVHITE LEGHORN Year- ling hens for sale. Phone West 204X. West Vancouver Specialists 1912 - 1929 Specializing in this District we have a good idea of values HOUSES FOR RENT HOUSES FOR SALE SVATERFRONTAGE- ACREAGE illoney to Loan -- Fire Insurance GEO. HAY Real Estate and Insurance Notary I'ublic 1405 hlarine Drive Office Phone West 21 or Sey. 1260 Residence Phone W. 82R or W. 204R R. P. Clark & Co. (Vancouver) Ltd. SACRIFICE SNAP WATERFROiVT LOT, AbIBLESIDE, AVest of Ferry, Bargain Price $ 1400. R. P. CLARK Ec CO.. LTD. 790 Dunsmuir St Seymour 7484 Local Representative C. J. ARCHER. IVest 225. +i:~~y' r '~,s') / / t'l +C 1CI- Ik d t NORTH SHORE COUNCILS I LAN EARLY CONFER- ENCE WITH HON. NELS LOUGHEED Corrosive compounds &n impure gasoline result in sulphur-forming acids cvhich destroy the vital parts of a motor. 60 per cent. of valve and bearing trouble is due to sulphur in gasoline. 'Ghere sno G"as ligate'ome" "What is your last wish7" asked tlic prison chaplain of the man who was to be electrocuted the next day. "I only wish that the warden for- gets to pay his electricity bill," an- swered the condemned man. A conference bet&veen Hon. Nels Loughe.d, minister of pub- lic works, the Vancouver mem- bt rs of the Legislature, the dir- ectors of the P.G.E., and the North Vancouver City and Dis- trict councils, will be arranged in the near future when the mat- ter of compensation for the city and district for losses sustained through discontinuance of the passenger service on the North Vancouver-IVhytecliff section of the P.G.E. Railway will be dis- cussed. CLASSIFIED ADS 6 ILL EXCHANiGE--5 roomed bung- alow on two lots close in, for small house in city. Apply, Exchange, c;o Nest Van iVews. SA LE -- Attractive Colonial Bungalow. Living room 18 ft. square, kitchen, pantry, bath room. Two bed rooms, chicken house, work shop. Lawn, flowers, fruits, veget- ables. Good View. Hutton, 1171 20th, near Inglewood, West Vancou- ver. ftOOII WANTED by gentleman wo«- ing at night Will furnish new'ed- room su&te. Phone %est 248L SA LE--Snap, 6-hole range in fair shape, $ 10. Lloyd wicker baby $8.00. Qlothes Wringer, $ 140. Apply 2161 Bellevue. IIOUSEKEEPER Wanted for Mon+ of August. Sleep out. Phone West 198R. CEbl ENT IVORK--Rock Walla, Land- caping, Lawns, Rockeries, Fencing, Trellis work, Clearing, Grading. Phone T. Bnrnott, 23rd and Jeffer- son. Residence, West 672R. TO REVT--Four room cottage ults. Apply, B. R. Harrison, IVest 404L I.OS1' ()ne truck tire on rim 32x4 t/s. Reward. Phone AVest 17. FOR SALE--Tent fly 15x]2. Used once. Cost $25; sell for $ 10. Phone West 149R1. TO RFVT--One furnished suite with bath. Phone West 339. KILiV DRIED PLANER EVDS- Double load delivered, $3.50. Hobb Transfer, W-'.st 17. TAXI--Peerless Sedan. Day or Night Service. Phone, Webster North 1234 SCHWEPPES LEMONADE, CAN ADA DRY GINGERALE and all the Brands of Cigars at The Ambleside Tea Rooms. SEWING IVANTED Ladies Children's work. Mrs. Bloxham, Phone %est 226. WEBB'S SHOE REPAIRS WEAR BEST--Duadarave. NEIVMAN 8c ROBBIiVS Contractors, Builders, Painting Pap- erhanging, Alterations and Repairs. Promptly Executed. House Phone West r4R1. HEMSTITCHING--Plain. white 5c yard; silk and colored 10c yard.Pearce's Drygoods, 14th Street and Lfarine. Phone West 144. GARDEVS DESIGNED, Laid Out and Maintained. Rock Gardens, Lily and Ornamental Pools Lawns Rustic work, Fencing, Concrete Paths, Drives, etc., Pruning and Spraying, Landscape and General Gardening R. J. Kyte. Phone West 172R1. FOR PLU&I BING REPAIRS--Phone West 241R. GARDEN BARROWS--St fong Light unpainted; price $4.50. delivered subject to approval Phone i%orth 364R. IRRESPONSIBLE COUPLE would rent fully modern house from October on or near marine Drive essential. Reply at once, Renter c',o West Van News. RANG ES FOR SALE--A Splendid assortment of used ranges. Com- pletely overhauled. Satisfaction guaranteed. Free delivery. Phone Highland 3650. OTOR HALITOSIS--no other .- --ivord explains it so favell --a danger signal of engine trouble ahead. It indicates the presence of sulphur corIosives and impuri- ties in the gasoline you are using. You can't mistake it-- that odor discharged from the exhaust. Smlthur reins yolk motor Avoid the costly results of using impure gasoline. Discriminating motorists insist on Home Gas-- they avoid excessive cor- rosion and expensive engine repairs. Guaranteed Free From Corrosive Sulphur Compounds Xiudouteittumtdek~