001C9668 December 28, 1928. Whimsical Review Judge--"4Vhy did you run down this man in broad daylight on a perfectly straight stretch of road?" Prisoner--"Your honor, my windshield was almost totally obscured with safety-first stick- ers." When IIe IVinked A parson, who was Anishing a round of golf, got bunkered at the eigh- teenth. In the process of extracting his ball he got some sand in his eye. The cye continued to trouble him when he went into the clubhouse and said: "ls this milkT" "Well, sir," grinned the steward, "naturally I put a dash of rum in it when you winked." ~Vhen a .vife wishes she had gone in for a career instead of marriage, you can bet your bot- tom dollar ~he doesn't wish it half as much as her husband does. Visitor in a printing office: "What is your rulc for punctuating." The Apprentice (lately promoted to the case): "I set as long as I can hold my breath and then put in a com- ma; when I yawn I put in n semi- colon, and when I want a chew'f tobacco I make a paragraph." RECORD PROFIT iIADE BY P. G. E. "EVhy did you put that mud turtle in your sister's bed?" "Because I couldn't find any f l'ogs. Delicate Eggs Lightly toast as many slices of toast as you nee&l, spread with butter, trim off crust. Beat the whites of as many eggs until stiff. Spread on the toasted bread, drop the yolks in the c.ntre, sprinkle with pepper and salt, bake until slightly brown in a medium oven. Serve at once. "Do all the members of your intellectual «dvancement organ- ization make speeches?" "Oh, rio," «nswered Miss Cay- enne, "the more useful ones make tea and sandwiches." Afternoon Caller--"And your husband has become violently religious?" Mrs. Radionut--"I should say so. Last Sunday he picked up the offertorv from Fort )Vorth, the text from winnipeg, the ser- mon from Boston and the dox- ology from San Francisco." Round Steak Brown Stew Pound flour into both sides of a round steak about two inch- es thick, using as much as the meat will take up; also salt and pepper both sides, put in a fry- ing pan with butter or other fat and brown both sides just a little then add water to cover it. Cov- er the dish "nd allow to simmer two or three hours until tender. Ordinarily it is ready to serve when the meat is done, as gravy is already thickened. A Case on Him The old lady was timidly in- specting the stock of spectacles. "How much are these?" she asked, selecting a pair. "A dollar and a half, madam." "And how much with the case?" ")Veil, the case makes little d ifference. Suppose we say say $ 1.45." "aha t? Is the case only worth five cents?" "Yes, madam," firmly. "EVell, I'm glad to hear it; it' the case I want." And, placing a nickle on the counter, the dear old lady took up the case and walked timidly into the street, while the optician gasped for breath." Apple Dumplings Temperature, 275 degrees; time, three hours, or tempera- ture, 400 degrees, time forty minutes. Two cups flour, four teaspoons baking powder, four tablespoons fat, two-thirds cup milk, one teaspoon salt, six medium sized apples, six tablespoons butter, cinnamon. ) Iix flour, baking powder and salt, sift together. Cut in the fat, add the milk, and mix lightly to a soft dough that can be roll'd. Roll out to about o»e-fourth inch in thickness. Cut in squares about six inches and place one peeled and cored appk on each square. Add one table- spoon of sugar, one teaspoon of butter and a sprinkling of cinna- mon on each apple. Fold the dough over the apple and place in a buttered pan or baking dish. A young criuple were enter- taining some of their friends when they realized that all their plans for entertainment had '. been exhausted. The situation was becoming critical; but the young husb:ind had the idea of seeing who c~)uld make the ugli- est face. The contest was agreed upon; nd after the judges were ap- ointed, all the ingests tried a»d tried to make ugly faces. ~Vhen the time come for a de- cision, one of the judges walked up to one of the women and said:'~Ve have decided to give the prize to you." The guest replied: "Pardon me, but I wasn't playing." ilIarble Salad IVith vegetable cutter scoop out a dozeii marbles each of car- rot, beet, potato. Arrange on bed of curly chicory and add thick mayonnaise. Chocolate l'udding One teaspoon melted butter, oiie-half cup sugar, one egg, one- half cup sweet milk, oiie cup flour, one teaspoon baking pow- der, one square melted chocolate. Steam one hour. Use whipped cream for sauce. Ilousewife: "Don't bring me any more of that horrid milk. It is positively blue." Milkman: "It ain't our fault, lady, It's these long dull even- ings as makes the cows depress- ed." During October the Pacific Great Eastern Railway made the largest profit of any month in the history of the road, a sur- plus of $ 11.153 being declared on the Squamish branch. This is more than double the profit made on any single month's op- eration since the line was con- structed. Passenger, freight and express business all brought increased revenue, while expenditures de- creased $3000 as compared with the corresponding period last year. Officials attribute the increas- ed surplus to the fact that there was a large volume of stock mov- ing to the market; also that in- cr'ased prosperity resulted in more people travelling. September business was an improvement over that of Sep- tember, 1927, the loss on opera- ation being $ 1000 less than the same month last year. For the month of August a profit of $2912 was shown. This is the first surplus ever shown in the history of the road during Aug- ust. For 1928, the directors declare they will b. able to show the best financial statement in the history of the road. :. Flf7$tVltTICI 1JseI.u (ecipes THE SVEST VAN NEAVS iVEST VANCOUVER HIGH SCHOOL Wishing all the people of West Vancouver A Happy and Prosperous Yew Year. Class I.eaders, Dec. 1928. GRADE XI. 1. Hilda wilson ......78 2. Cordon Grafton...71.7 3. Ada Albin .............. 71.3 GRADE X. 1. ~fargaret Reid .....70.5 2. Stanley Bushier ........70.4 3. Glen iMcCullough .....69.8 GRADE IX. 1. Betty Erlwards ........78.8 2. Geoffery Cornish....74.5 3. Grace Thompson .....74 GRADE IX. Com mercial 1. Druscilla Dawson .. . 1 2. Joyce FIerrin.... 2 '3. Norman Moore... GRADE X. Commercial Selma Siewert . .... 67 i41illie BIuir.......... 65 Gordon MacVean ............... 62 SPECIAL STUDENTS Commercial Olive Chilton Bruce FIamilton . Ben Trafford .................... A Bright and Happy New Year to all in West VancouverGF.O. HA.Y Fire Insurance -- ~roney to Loan Notary Public 1405 Marine Drive Office Phone West 21 or Sey. 1260 Residence Phone W. 32R or W. 204X S i";)'$ Grocery and Hardware. "I have a terrible rumbling on my stomach. It's like a wagon going over a bridge." "It's most likely that truck you ate this morning for break- fast." WE OEUVER PHONE WEST 28 CLASSIFIED ADS . 78 . 70 . 68 FOR RF'iT--Newly furnished. desir- able four room apartment, also two room apartment with sleeping porch, right at water's edge. Hot and cold water, plumbing. wonder- ful marine view and pleasing sur- roundings. "Something different." AVill rent for less than half usual price until ofay first. Phone 612-0. "The Red Mill," West Bay Beach. BOOKS IVANTED -- P. O. Box 222, Hnllyburn, B. C. LOST--Small Black Dog, white spot on chest. Answers to name Paddy. Please Phone West 675R. THE JOINEltS It is of interest to note that the output of insignia and emblems in this country in a year reaches a value of over $ 10,000,000. The census bur- eau shows that there are 84 manufac- turing concerns in the country engag- ed in producing this material. It is indicative of the fact that America is a race of "joinars." Emblems are of course worn by civic organizations to a certain extent and by boy organ- izations, but the great part of the output goes to the secret societies of the country. There are millions of members. Secret societies have flour- ished from time immemorial and have had representative insignia. They are not only a part of civilized ages but in the days of savegry there were such organizations. Once secret or- ganizations had as their main purpose some political or religious purpose and frequently this led to animosity and to conflict. In our day and time this is not generally the case. The great majority of secret societies of today are on non-political and non-sectari- an lines and are purely fraternal and social organizations. They are an ex- pression of the desire of peeple to associate with others having a sim- ilar interest. There is only friendly rivalry between the great mass of these societies and no bitterness. Their secret formulae make their fel- lowship closer. Their organizations are a spirit of brotherhood.-- PIANOFOltTE -- bliss Frame takes pupils. Charges moderate. 26th and Marine. West 467L3. II EATER and Sir Hole Range for sale cheap. Apply Lunn's Cafe. FOlt SALE--~lcLagan Cabinet Gram- aphone. over thirty records. Phone West 89R. SC8 iV EI'PS LE&ION A DE, Felix Ginger Ale, Drewry's Ginger Ale, Canada Dry Ginger Ale, at the Am- b.'eside Tea Rooms. LOST--Black Pocket Book, Last llon- day morning between Ferry and Columbia Avenue. Contained small amount of money. Please phone IVest 649R. X II AS CHOCOI ATES Fruit i uts Candies and Cigars at the Amble side Tea Rooms. FOUNDATION AND CEIIENT Work Landscaping, Lawns, F e n c i n g, Drains, Rock IValls, Clearing, Grad- ing, Septic Tanks. T. Barnott, West 672R. SEE BILL COLVIN about Life Insur- ance. Special Agent The Mutual Life of Canada. Seymour 8670, 4Vest 389X. IVANTED--A Waterfront vacant Lot or one with house. Apply "Water- front," c',o News.J ANUARY, 1929. NORTH SHORE ELECTRIC - for wiring,-- Radio,-- Fixtures. Get our prices. Phone 79, North Van- couver. January 1st, 1929. Here' where Old Father Time makes a new "notch" on his scythe. Hopes, Aspirations and Reso- lutions can now be voiced--but the pessimist says that promises are only made to be broken. Janus the old Roman god, after whom the first month of the year was named, is usually pic- tured with two heads, looking in opposite directions. Thus Jan- us has always been considerà the most appropriate month for looking backward over the year just passed, and forward over the New Year to come. The pictured JANUS always carried a key in his hand, with which he was supposed to unlock the future and start every new undertaking. )Vhile most of us profess redi- cul eof ancient mythology, some present day myths are still very active. There's the myth, for instance, that January must necessarily be a "slow" month in business. Nothing could be further from the truth. Think of all the NET money that Christmas and New Year gifts place in circulation. It runs into stupendous figures. Let's make this the best Janu- ary we ever had. Buy in AVest Vancouver. Do your bit in Com- munity effort. Thanks! Same to you and many of them! COW hlANURE FOR SALE--&Veil rotted, $5 Two yards; $ 10 for 44 yards. Mr. Raine. Phone West 74L2. SE)VING WANTED -- Ladiea'nd Children's work. Mrs. Bloxham, Phone West 226.OFFER OF GAS SUPPLY TO NORTH VANCOUVER WINDOIV BLINDS--Made to order and installed. Estimates free. Pearce's Drygoods, 14th Street and Marine. Phone West 144. An agrement providing for the expenditure of $50,000 by the Vancouver Gas Company for in- stallation of equipment to pro- vide a supply of gas for the city for domestic purposes was plac- ed before the North Vancouver City Council Friday afternoon. The agreement, which is the same as that placed before the District Council wednesday eve- ning last, provides that the gas company is to expend the mini- mum of $50,000 within one year of the signing of the agreement and the company undertakes to provide gas service within one year to any building in the city located on a graded street. Until such time as the con- sumption of gas in this city a- mounts to $50,000,000 cubic feet annually, the company's rate to consumers will not exceed by more than 15 cents the rate for that amount of gas in Vancou- ver. 9'hen the consumption here reaches 60,000,000 cubic feet an- nually, the rate will not exceed by more than 10 cents that charged in Vancouver. The agreement also provides that at the expiration of thirty'ears,North Vancouver city will have the option of taking over the whole gas system within its boundaries. A similar agreement was plac- ed before the City Council a year ago and the council has instruct- ed City Clerk George Shepherd to look up the records and ascer- tain what resolutions were placed on the books at that time with respect to the original a- greement. L LANDSCAPE and General Gardening Rock Gardens, Lily and Ornamental Pools, Lawns, Rustic Work, Fencing Concrete Paths, Drives, etc., Prun- ing, Spraying, Painting and Kalso- mining, Repairs. R. J. Eyte, Phone West 17'~Xl. HEMSTITCHING--Plain.. «hite 5c yard; silk and colored 10c yard. Pearce's Drygoods, 14th Street and Marine. Phone West 144. RADIO--~tarconi and Stewart-IVarn- er, Batteryless, demonstrated at our shop. Before buying a radio see these. West Van. Electric (Jack Paterson). FOUR ROO~I COTTAGE -- Water, Light, Phone, Garden, Fine view. Lot 75xlÃ; $850, terms. WEST VANCOUVER INVEST- hlENT COY. West 10% NEIVSIAN 4 ROBBINS -- Builders and Contracto~Painting, paper- hanging and kalsomining, chimneys built. 28th and Marine. WEBB'S SHOE REPAIRS WEAR BEST--Dundarave. Eke ttrrsh trou all a gappy anh Prasprraus Krm iirar. ~ ~ ~ %ca ea ew sw rw f+ r+ F+ ~ &YN e~eN 0+ ~ w ew r+ ~ ++VyVy~o+ ~ + ~ N ~ + $ i ~ Best Barrcautret Kesfbents I'k: Kg I; E. P (6iark 8c C~rr.. &Xiniitril %has. ). Anhef, Kofal Ec prrserrtatiue r! ~ y ~ + ~ Q ~ Q ~ P 0 r& r t e o e o e + e ~ eg e o ~a uzije&r- ~ r o r~~ e~~ ~g'«~~~a «x «a ~W ~Y«m «T~~~M «Y«Y~w~W~w~wA «w» r«r~ i «v»v« ~ « i «A'