The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

001C9632 November 23, 1928. THE AVEST VAN NEKVS Whimsical Review At the Club. Lover: "Can there be any sweeter words than 'I love you'T" Writer: "Yes. 'Check inclosed'." Artist Schram--"I have dedded to present my latest work to some char- itable institution. Which do you sug- gest T" Friend Rolle--"The Asylum for the Blind."--Templeton Sun. Be Careful. Habit is hard to overcome. If you take off the first letter, it does not change "abit." If you take off another letter you will have a "bit" left. If you take off still another the whole of "it" remains, which proves that you must throw it off altogether. Two Scotchmen took dinner togeth- er in a restaurant. After dinner, the waiter brought the check. The two sat and talked for a couple of hours, after which conversation failed, and they merely smoked in silence. At one a. m. one of them got up and tele- phoned to his wife. "Dinna wait up any longer for me, lass," he said, "it looks like a dead- lock." The Plural Sex Mr. Newlywed: "Please, doctor, tell me at once--is it a 'him'r a 'her'?" Doctor: "It's a 'them'." No Hedger "Say, boss, can I get off this after- noon about half-past two?" "ivhose funeral is it to be this time, James T" "iVell, to be honest, boss, the way the morning papers have it doped out it looks like it's going to be the home team's again." A man mortgaged his home to buy an automobile. Then he went around and tried to mortgage the car to get money to build a garage. "How are you going to buy gas?" curiously inquired the man of whom the loan was asked. "8'ell," replied the other slowly, I own a house, a car and a garage, I should think any dealer would be willing to trust me for gas. Visitor: "Well, my little man; and what are you called?" First Boy: "Jule, sir." Visitor: "You should say 'Julius.'" Turning to another boy: "iVell, and what is your name T" Second Boy: "Billious,sir t" It's Happening Pretty girl, to sailor: "I suppose you'e been in the navy so long that you are accustomed to sea legs." Sailor, to pretty girl: "I wasn't even looking, miss." "Look at that pretty telephonist at the next table." "How'o you know she is a tele- phonist T" "I have said 'Hello'wice and got no reply." "The other heirs tried to git the farm, but I beat 'em in court everv time." "That's good. Gonna keep on livin'n it?" "Yep! I'm renting it of the lawyers." hfarjory: "bfamma, were you at home when I was born T" Mother: "No, darling, I was at grandma's in the country." Marjory: "Avasn't you aw'ful s-pris- ed when you heard about itT" Traffic Cop: "I'm sorry, miss, butI'e got to tag your car. You know what that means T" The Sweet Young Thing: "Certainly Now I chase somebody else and tag them and then they'e it." How is it we never get any cream on our milk?" said the newly wedded husband. "I complained to the milk- man," explained the young wife, "and he said that he always filled our jug so full of milk that there was no room for cream. He is such a nice man." &VEBB'S SHOE REPAIRS WEAR BEST--Dundarave. RADIO--&larconi and Ste«art-i% arn- er, Batteryless, demonstrated at our shop. Before buying a radio see these. West Van. Electric (Jack Paterson). N EWbf AN & ROBBIN S -- Builders and Contractors--Parnting, paper- hang;ng and kalsomining, chimneys built. 28th and bfarine. Ambleside Hall FOR RENT Applications for reservations of the Ambleside Hall for the present may be made to the agents. GEO. flAY Notary Public 1405 bfarine Drive Phone West 21 R. I'. Clark & Co. (Vancouver) Ltd. SNAI'OR IIANDYbIAN -- Six 50 footlots with partly built house. Water, light and phone available. $ 1650 on terms, for quick sale. FOR RENT--Three Rooms, furnished, bath, electric light in, right on beach, $ 15 monthly for winter. COSY iVATERFRNT HOblE Thoroughly redecorated throughout. Full plumbing, fireplace, cabinet kitchen, 2 bedrooms, living room. delightful vie;v. Special bargain at $35. We Specialize in West Vancouver. Consult us for your requirements. All classes of property handled. I'L'RNISII ED &IOPERN BUNGA- LOW for rent. Garage. Ideal loca- tion. $25 month Phone %'est 23Y3. WORK WANTED by day or hour. Recommended. Phone mornings. AVest 663L. S&lALL COTTAGE TO RENT--Ne«- ly decorated. Three rooms. Closed in verandah, fireplace, light and water. Phone 9 est 71Y. 8 I'AN I EL I'UI'PI ES--Thoroughbred. For sale. One month old. Nice for Xmas presents. hfrs. Mayer. 2'Z45 F'ulton, Phone Wast 447Y. DRESS &I AKING WANTED--Altera- tions of all kinds. Ladies and Child- rens work done. bfrs. Davies, AVest 197L I'OR SALF i~dies tailored grey tweed coat size SH or 40 Nearly new, $~. Apply "Coat," co West Van News. NO!tTH SHOlt E ELECTRIC for g.-- Radio,-- Fix our prices. Phone 79. North Van- couver. CO% blAN URE FOR SALE--% ell rotted, $5 Two yards; $ 10 for 44 yards. Mr. Raine. Phoae West 74 L2. F'R SALE-- D. L 237. Block 13. Lot 20, Total price $ 200. Terms $ 10.RI down, $5.00 a month. interest Wr. Apply, "Lots," West Van News. CAN A DA DRY and Felix Giagerale at the Ambleside Tea Rooms. AI'PLFfON COURT Rent $55.00 up. 13EAL'TIF UL LARGE KITCH~ and Breakfast nook. electric range, tiled sink, frigidaire, two bedrooms, large sitting-room,electric fireplace, gar- age, surrounded by lawn and flow- ers; wonderful view. Phone West 424, between 4 aad 7 p.m. CLASSIFIED ADS R. P. CLA RK & CO.~ LTD 790 Dunsmuir St. Seymour 7484 Local Representative C. J. ARCHER, West 22 Specializing in West Vancouver Our Lists are always Ul' TO - DATE with Properties f'r Sale and for Rent FIRE INSURANCE Don't let Fire creep in and your Fire Policy creep out. Phone us for rates. We have money on hand to Loan on Good hfortgages. GEO. HAY Notary Public 1405 hfarine Drive Office Phone West 21 or Sey. 1260 Residence Phone W. 32R or W. 204X WIORTGAGE ON HOGTIE IS HEST DIVORCE CURE The mortgage on a home keeps a family nose to the grindstone and prevents the restlessness which causes divorce. That' the opinion of Common Pleas Judge Frederick P. AValther, of Cleveland, Ohio. "In 90 per cent of divorce cases," he says, "we find the par- ties do not own their homes. Any man or woman who does not hope to own a home and does not work towards that end is not a substantial citizen." SEVERAL VAftIEI'IES of Choice Iris plants for sale. Dr. Thompson, iVest 4S9. SERVING iVANTED -- Ladies'ad Children's work. bfrs. Bloxham, Phone West 226. iVIN DOiV BLINDS--Made to order and installed. Estimates free. Pearce's Drygoods. 14th Street and bfariae. Phone West 144. LA'iDSCAPE and General Gardening Rock Gardens, Lily and Ornamental Pools, Lawns, Rustic Work, Feaciag Concrete Paths. Drives, etc., Prun- ing, Spraying, Painting and Kalso- mining. Repairs. R. J. Kyte, Phone West 172X1. FOR RENT -- Comfortable modern house close to ferry, $30. Also, furnished four room modern bung- alow in Dandarave. Phone West 620L after 6 p.m. hfODERN BUNGALOW FOR RENT $30. Five large rooms: Lot 132x132 Garage, ne~ly decorated. corner h!athers and 25th, on Bus line. Ap- ply, B. R. Harrison or any AVest Van Real Estate Agent FOUNDATION, CENTI ENT WORK, Landscaping, Lawns made, Grading and Clearing. T. Barnott, Resid- ence Phone West 672R. H EM STITCHING--Plain . «hite Sc yard; silk and colored 10c yard. Pearce's Drygoods, 14th Street aad Marine. Phone ivest 144. FOUR l(OObf COTTAGE -- Water, Light, Phone, Garden, Fine view. Lot 75x1%; $S50, terms. WEST VANCOUVER INVEST- hf ENT COY. West 102. OWER PICKUI'ERFORMANCE PRODUCERS 5b7 4urrard Street R L'I INERS DIS'I'R I OU I ORS Vancouver, 4. C. 0 E OIL DISTRIBUTORS LIMITED os H. A. Bishop wrote the council asking for a lease of the bath house on Dundarave pier. He was advised that the matter of the new lease was under consid- eration. The clerk was instruct- ed to write to i4Iiss Stevenson asking whether she wished the lease to remain with the Clach- an. If she did not then the pro- prietor of the Fortune Cup Inn divas to have the refusal, cost per annum and conditions of lease to be mentioned when writing. An invitation was received by the council from the Vancouver School Board to attend the open- ing of the Technical School, Broadway and Slocan Streets, Vancouver, on Friday, Yoveniber 30th, at 8 p. m. The council re- plied that as many members as possible would attend. LAND ACT Notice of Intention to Apply to I'urchase Land In New Westminster Land Record- ing District of British Columbia and situate about Five Hundred feet West of the entrance to Fisherman's Cove Howe Sound. Take notice that Henry hfiller Par- ry of Vancouver, occupation Fire .'ifarshal, intends to apply for permis- sion to purchase the following describ- ed lands:-- Comm~incing at a post planted on the S. E. Corner of a small Island about 500 feet 4V. of the entrance to Fisherman's Cove, and about SOO feet, and in a ivesterly direction from the S. E. Cor. Post of D. I 771, Group 1, New Westminster District, thence ivest, thence North,thence East thence South along Foreshore and a- bove High ivater Mark to Point of Ciimmencement. and containing about acre, more or less. HENRY MILLER PARRY. Dated August 25th, 19'S.