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001C95FE October 12, 1928. Whimsical Review Neither Sambo nor Rastus could read the time of day--or anything else--but Sambo had a nice big dollar watch which he g exhibited with a great air ofsuperiority. "N'hat time am it?" said Ras- tus. Sambo hesitated and then ex- tended the time-piece, saying: "Dar she am." Rastus looked at it carefully and said "Darned if she ain'." A young chap called on a girl and stayed too late, so her dad yelled down from his bedroom: "Time to go, young feller; time to go." The young chap, as he put on his overcoat, said very loudly and angrily: "Your father's a crank." Then the old man yelled down again: ")Veil, young feller, don't you need a crank if you ain't a self-starter?" Visitor: "To what do you at- tribute your long life, Uncle?" Oldest Inhabitant: ")Veil, I don't rightly know. Several of the patent medicine companies is bargaining with me now." 3!iss Browne: "I frankly ad- mit I am looking for a husband." i~Irs. Greene: "So am I." "But I thought you had one?" "I have, and I spend most of my time looking for him." An American was prowling a- round a Scottish churchyard. His eyes caught an epitaph, "Lord, she was thin." "Say sexton, what d'e think of that?" he asked. "That's all right, sir; the sculptor went over near the edge of the stone and did'na leave room for the 'e'." "Going to town?" enquired a western farmer. "Yeh," said the neighbor. ")Vill you enquire for my mail?" ~ eNo 1 ~ "Rather unneighborly of you, I must say," commented a friend. "Can't help that," was the re- ply. "The last time I asked for his mail I had to lug a grind- stone out to his place." Bridget had been a witness in a lawsuit and had just returned home from court. "EVhat did the lawyer say to you, Bridget?" enquired her mis- tress. "Shure, th'uld Haythen," said Bridget, truculently, "he axed me did Oi know there was brass enough in me face to make a good sized-kettle, an'i told him there was sauce enough in his tongue to fill it." Razz--"I thought you promis- &d me that you wouldn't smoke any more." Berry--"I did." "But you are smoking as mucli as ever." "IVell, that isri't any more is it?"--Texas Ranger. A grammar school boy handed in the following composition on "Cats" '. "Cats that's meant for little boys to maul and tease is called Maultease cats. Some cats is rekernized by how quiet their purs is and these is named Pur- sian cats. The cats what has v«ry bad tempers is called Ang- orie cats. And cats with deep feelin's is called Feline cats. I don't like cats." Uricle Jack asked little Colin if she didn't want him to play with her. "Oh. no," she said, "we'e playing Indian, and you'e no use, 'cause you'e scalped ai- r«ady."--Uited Presbyterian. FREDERICK GROVE GIVES iIASTERLY ADDRESS The North Shore Canadian Club held their regular luncheon on Thursday evening 4th Octoli- er, in the K. of P. Hall, North Vancouver, when they had as their guest Frederick P. Grove, the well known Canadian author. ~ir. Grove, who is on a lecturing tour of Canada under the aus- pices of the Association of Can- adian Clubs, gave one of the finest addresses of any yet deliv- ered at the club luncheons in North Vancouver. Choosing for the subject of his address "IVhy I Am a Canadian." i4Ir. Grove took his audience back to his boyhood days. From his wanderings and the wealth of experience gained therefrom, the speaker considered that there had been created within himself the happy faculty of be- ing able to adapt himself to changing conditions and environ- ment. There was created in himself an ambition to give expressiori to the impressions he had glean- ed--to give expression that would stand the test of time. That, he said, is his ambition today and no matter how far his achievements had fallen short of that objective in the past or how far his efforts might fall short of his objective in the future, he svould always have before him the same goal of ambition. Referring to writing in gener- al and then particularizing in the writing of novels which the speaker termed the dominant part in literature, 51r. Grove stated that it was in Canada that he found the ideal setting for a realization of his ambition. )Vhen he came to Canada the second time, he did so as a hired man of the hardy pioneer of western Canada. In this envir- onment, where the pioneer is "monarch of all he surveys," he was always hovering on the edge of civilization. He was the spokesman of the pioneers, the preacher and teacher al&lays and sometimes the doctor. Occasionally he regretted hav- ing done what he did. He some- times longed for the enjoyment of the luxuries of civilization, the privilege of conversing with men versed in the affairs of the avorld men of culture. However, even among the pi- oneers, he added to his store of knowledge. In this age which is sometimes forgetful of things eternal for things material he still found among the pioneers a kindly folk standing unmoved by the developments of time--a people who had a three-fold ob- jective. They sought a true val- uation of man's true potentiali- ties in nature and a determina- tion of the bounds between man's ambitions and his eternal favell being. This spirit, continued 5Ir. Grove, is the spirit ive find in western Canada. EVe find men and women whose relation to the soil is spiritual and not material. They lend their thoughts to things that develop nature. Suc)i characteristics. )Ir. Grove stat- ed, were not to be found in the peasant of the Old world. The toiler of western Canada ap- peared to be possessed of the spirit of a new hopefulness. "I sometimes think, said the speak- er, "that that spirit arises from the fact that the farmer can own the land upon which he stands." Whether that be it or not, that something is there, he said, and out of it nationhood must be borne. That it is there, is what has made me a Canadi- an. It has kept me in Canada and today it is crying for ut- terance. Doctor: "Did you follow my advice oiitl drink hot water one hour before breakfast?" His Patient: "I did my best, but I couldn't keep it up more than ten minutes, doctor." THE WEST VAN NEREUS A.mbleside Hall FOR RENT Applications for reservations of the Ambleside Hall for the present may'e made to the agents. GEO. IIAY Notary Public 1405 bfarine Drive Phone AVeet 21 LAND ACT Notice of Intention to apply to I'urchase Land. In New IVestminster Land Record- ing District of British Columbia and situate about, Five Hundred Eeet ~Vest of the entrance to Fisherman'e Cove, )lowe Sound. Take notice that Henry hfillo.r Par- ry of Vancouver, occupation Fire bfarshal, intends to apply Eor permis- sion to purchase the following describ- ed lands:-- Commencing at a poet planted on the S. E. Corner of a small Island about 500 feet ~V. of the entrance to Fisherman'e Core, and about 800 feet, and in a Westerly direction from the S. E. Cor. Post of D.L. 771, Group ], Nem westminster District, thence West, thence North, thence East, thence South along Foreshore and a- bove EIigh Water hfark to Point of Commencement, and containing about acre, more or lese. EI EN RY MILLER PARRY, Dated August 25th, 19%. F. G. IUILLIADISON STRUCK BY DR. BAYF I E LD'S CAR Struck by an automobile driv- en by Dr. G. E. Bayfield at the intersection of Pemberton ave- nue and AiIarine Drive at 10 p.m. last Aionday, F. G. williamson, Sixteenth Street and Fulton ave- nue, was conveyed to North Van- couver General Hospital in a critical condition. He suffered a fracture of the skull just a- bove the left eye as well as other injuries of a less serious nature. Owing to the nature of the in- jury over the left eye it is feared that he may lose the sight of that member. According to reports Dr. Bay- field was driving with Jack Sen- tance, whom he divas conveying to North Vancouver, when EVil- liamson, who allegedly divas walk- ing on the paved road, suddenly appeared in front of the car. Dr. Bayfield has been charged with driving to the common dan- ger, and will appear in the North Vancouver District Police Court on 4Ionday. williamson, who had been in the employ of the Capilano Tim- ber Co. till ihIonday is now re- ported as having more than an even chance of recovery. LAND ACT Notice of Intention to apply to I'urchase Land. In the Land Recording District of New XVestminster and situate near Grace Harbour. Garnbier Island. Take notice that I, Alfred Louis Del- amare, of KVest Vancouver, occupation Labourer. intends to apply for per- rnission to purchase the following de- scribed lands:-- Commencing at a post planted at South East corner, aproximately 600 Eeet from South corner of Lot 42, D. L 2768, Gambier Island, thence 245 feet to North East corner; thence 40 feet to North West corner; thence 250 feet to South IVest corner; thence 50 feet to South East corner more or less, and containing 1 7 acre more or lese. PU RPOS8--To build a mall from said islet to Lot 42 opposite. 90 feet distant, Eor shelter; Secondly to beau- tify what is a bare rock, by planting trees thereon. ALFRED LOUIS IJELAhfARE. Dated 29th August, 1928. Hallowe'en Favors A»g variety of Crackers, Bombs, Sparklers, Horns Masks Fancy 4Vhistles, etc. KVe have everything you'l need for the Haflowe'en party. Al'PLE SPECIAL blaclntoeh Reds per box... $ L6& NAR:,l':E G,HOCERY 22nd and Marine J. ALLISON, Prop. PIIONE %EST 96 PRObl Vl'ELI VERY F'Oft SALF I'air Binoculars, $ 20.00. Kiddies Car, $3; Tricycle $-i (both C.C.hf.) In good condition. Phone West 196R. BOAIII) AND ItOObf %ANTED by young man teacher. Apply stating terms to Board c o West Van Ntews. CAPABLE GIRL or Woman IVanted for general housework. Phone West 1 l7R l. )& . J EN l E%, Builder, Cabinet % ork of all kinds. Phone West 346L I ONSDALE SIIORTHAND ANiD TYPEWRITING ACADEhfY, hfa- sonic Temple Building. Phone North 1055. We advance you rapid- ly. CANADA PRIDE RANGE for sale-- A real bargain. $ 10, Eor quick sale. West 19R. ~~ ORh 0 ANTED--By reliable and capable woman. Phone %est 98L3 or Nest 361 COiV bf AXL'RE FOR SALE--%ell rotted, $5 Two yards; $ 10 for 4Q yards. Mr. Raine. Phone West 74L2. %OftK IVANTED -- Repairs of all kinds. Cabinet making. Hot mater boilers installed, etc. Phone )Vest 197L. GIRL WANTED; Daily for one month Light housework and look after children. Phone West 305. FOUN D--hlotor Cycle bcense pfate- Apply West Van News. SEWING %ANTED -- Ladies'nd Children's work. Mrs. Bloxham, Phone West 226. %EBB'S SHOE REPAIRS %EAR BEST--Dundarave. %IN DOIV BLIN DS--Made to order and installed. Est.mates free. Pearce's Drygoods, 14th Street and hfarine. Phone West 144. FOUR ROOhf COTTAGE -- %ater, Light, Phone, Garden, Fine view. Lot 75x129; $850, terms. %FAT VANCOUVER INVEST- bf ENT COY. %est 102. Pocern . ome Four room fully modern house--Five minutes from Ferry. Practically new, $ 1750, on very easy terms. Sh1ALL BARREL HEATER Eor sale. Good condition. Phone West 71Y. FOR SALE--%ringer, $X50; %ash Tub, large size, 60c. Ball bearing sulky, disc wheels, $4. Phone %'est 481L2. STAR TOURING CAR for sale, 1923 model. Price $ 150 cash. Perfect running order. West 485L BY THE DAY--Practical nursing or general help, in any time of emerg- ency. North 785R. %ANTED -- Five Roomed House. Steady tenant. Rent must be reas- onable. Apply, -Renter," c,'o West Van News. RADIO--blarconi and Stewart-Warn- er, Batteryless, demonstrated at our shop. Before buying a radio see these. West Van. Electric ( Jack Paterson). FOR REXT -- Comfortable modern house close to ferry, $30. Also, furnished four room modern bung- alow in Dundarave. Phone West 620L after 6 p. m. DANGEROUS BLASTING GEO. HAY IVest Vancouver llien Had Close Ca» C. G. Barrow and J. E. Trough- ton, both of Dundarave, had a narrow escape from serious in- jury on DIonday afternoon, whil- st in North Vancouver on busi- ness. As they were crossing Lonsdale Avenue a good sized boulder hurtled through the air, caused by the blasting opera- tions in connection with the tun- nel excavation now being carried on. This boulder passed un- pleasantly close to them, so much so in fact, that they both ducked their heads not knowing what to expect, and it finally landed in the office of hlr. Alex- ander Smith, smashing a valu- able plate-gloss windoiv in its course. If the usual cry of 'fire'as raised, it was not heard by either of them, and another question is, divas a 'blanket'sed in the operations? Notary I'ublic 1405 hfarine Drive Office Phone IVest 21 or Sey. 1260 Residence Phone AV. 32R or lV. 204X R. P. Clark JL Co. (Vancouver) Ltd II EA L HObl E BA liG A I i -- Fully modem six-room semi-bungalow, just completed. Immediate posses- sion. Very comfortable winter and summer home. Close in, lovely view $750 cash, Balance like rent. Full price $3250. DOUBLF COIINER IIVII.DING SITF --Just a block north Marine Drive. Offered for limited pericd at $500. very attractive location. Insurance in all its branches. fL P. Clark 4 Co. (Vancouver) Ltd. 823 Hastings St. W. Sey. 7483, 748r Local Representative C. J. ARCHER, %est 225. DANCING CLASSES iAIiss Kathleen Ellis announc- es in this issue the opening of dancing classes in Dundarave for children. Physical culture ivill also be given. For particu- lars phone IVest 147R3. "Tommy," said the school teacher, where is Havana?" "Between EVirinipeg and Cal- gary," answered Tommy ivith surprising promptness. "wherever did you get that idea?" the teacher asked, much perplexed. "That'» ivhere it is on my dials," said Tommy. hfODERN BUNGALOW FOR RENT $30. Five large rooms: Lot 13&132 Garage, newly decorated. corner hInthers and 25th, on Bus line. Ap- ply, B. R. Harrison or any West Van Real Estate Agent. FOUN DATION, C1M ENT %ORE, Landscaping, Lawns made, Grading and Clearing. T. Barnott, Resid- ence Phone West 672R. THAT LITTLE JOB -- Gardening, Rock IVork, Rustic Work, Lawns, Pruning, Spraying, Concrete Paths, Drives, etc. Fencing, Rough Car- pentery, Painting and Kalsornin- ing. Repairs of all kinds. Sama sharpened. Phone IVest 17~ CL CABINET blAKER--A Oliver, 15th and Waterfront. Repair work done. Cedar chests from $ 15. H EbfSTITCHING--Plain.. «hite.. Sc yard; silk and colored 10c yard. Pearce's Drygoods, 14th Street and Marine. Phone West 144. CHICKEN DINNER on Sunday 50c. at Lunn's Cafe. N E%blAN 4 ROBBINS -- Builders and Contractors--Painting, paper- hang.:ng and kalsomining, chimneys built. 28th and hfarine. Phone IVest 74R1. ROObl AND BREAKFAST in quiet Strictly modern home available for gentleman. Apply "Board," c,'o West Van News. FOft RENT--Plastered cottage..Full plumbing. Dundarave. Phone Sey. 1461. CLASSIFIED ADS