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001C9561 June 29, 1928. THE AVEST VAN NE4VS "A baby is pure only because it has not had a chance." 0 0 "Ah ain't pointin'o accusin'ingers..... but three of mah chickens come hum missin'ast night."--Columbia Jester. ~ ~ ~ Q: "How many in the berth?" A: "Only one; here's our tick-et."--Iowa Frivol. 0 ~ As Queen Elizabeth might have said to Sir EVal ter Raleigh: "Keep your shirt on."--Alle- gheny Alligator. Policeman: "Hey, you, where vuh going with nine buckets of water?" "Hush. I'm going to drown a cat."--Nebraska Awgwan. ~ 0 "Professor, the more I read the less I seem to know." "Apparently you have done a great deal of reading, then!"-- Aliddlebury Blue Balloon. Old Refrailj , AVhen you and.I were seventeen, Remember, dear? I do-- I Your gingham gowns and chest- nut curls a And laughing eyes of blue: Remember by the old mill pond The time our lips first met- t You taught me everything you' learned Of life and love--and yet y You were so smooth I never knew Alas, until too late, EVhen you and I were seventeen That you were twenty-eight. Whimsical Review "Rastus, there's a beer out here for you." "AVell, save it foamy."--Rut- gers Chanticleer. 0 0 0 The height of dieting is the individual who refused to wear a stiff collar because it had too much starch in it. -- Rutgers Chanticleer. 0 0 0 First Cannibal: "Is supper over?" Second Cannibal: "Yes. every- body's eaten.--Lafayette Lyre. 0 1st Rooster: "Is your married life happy?" 2nd Rooster: "Oh, yes, my mother-in-law is an incubator." --Pitt Panther. 0 0 "George proposed to me last night." "EVhy, Clara, I thought you didn't go with boys who drank." --Dartmouth Jack o'antern. 0 0 0 "The stork is such a funny bird." "Yeah." "It kids the world."--Michigan Gargoyle. Cured Ham. Banker: "IVhere is that ham you said you would bring me?" Farmer: "EVell, sir, that hog finally got well."--Okla. IVhirl- wind. A mosquito is a great screen actor--and he always gets by.-- Pennsylvania Punch Bowl. Fond Parent: "Baby has cut another tooth." chloral: Never give a baby a broken bot tie. -- Penn. State Froth. Butler ((announcing): "Din- ner is served!" i~lrs. Newlyrich: "James, the ideal The guests haven't been in the dining room yet!"--Penn- sylvania Punch Bowl. 0 If two girls married twin brothers, would they be twin sisters-in-law? Beth: "Your kisses, Jack, af- fect me as no other man's ever have." Jack: "You handed me that l:n~ last iveek." Beth: "EVas it you? Pardon the repetition."--Cannon Bawl. Tahle i~lanners EVhen eating corn on the cob, adjust it as you would a mouth organ, but do not run the scale so rapidly. Place the napkin in your lap. Never display it at half mast. If you are obliged to yawn, wait until there is a gap in the conversation. Syrup should be used for nour- ishment and not as a liniment.-- Pony Railer. 4$ 5 CARRALL STREET srOa t5. ill~i r ~ a()f ~ . g A/ r ,, &.' „"&66eomen ,, s CI'CBI'.el'VBllCOUVt'.I'ill buy i i: =t Fkrtirc4ugx dVling.luna 63tj'y i(ig sass QRANVILLE sTREET j' g Expert wicemen install your Moffat quickly-- effic- ientl. No bother or trouble to you. To make ic easier for you to be one of the 300 women «ho will scarc cooking with a Morat before July 3i, we'e allowing $ 10.00 off installation charges, with che balance spread over a year and a half. here are morc than 95,000 Canadian-made hfofFats in daily usc! Of thc 4,000 women in Greater Van- couver who prove thc economy of electric cooking, l500 niok tcilb t'tloral rlntric ranggJ. ({ This enormous acceptance by modern housewives of Greater Vancouver is tribute enough -- but still greater is thc fact that thc army of MofFat users con- tinues to grow. Every day more women are learning thc benefits of MofFat cooking -- learning the pleasure that cooking with a hfofFat ofFers. hnd .. before the cnd ofJuly, &00 more women will be added to thc number who already usc hlofFat electric ranges and vouch for hfofFat s superiority. g You can beoneof them. You can afFord a MofFat, for h1ofFat is now ofFctcd on the easiest of terms! SPECIAL TERMS -for a short t~e o»y Sao.oo OH %V~aa Charges During This Special Oner A Tear aad a Half to Pay Yo»»ots /kg hIORE for roolt»g fttrlt ties» yo»'ll pu) ubr» )e» ntaf rlrrtrtr~ll). Tbr art»al ~trio rott of rlrrtrtr rookt»g t» Grr~trr Vi»- ro»trr it ktt t4» 7) rr»u]rr Itrrte» prr t»o»tb. Neu )ea CABIN vIord d» rlrftrtr M»gll' o» C/IN T 4Iord lo br tsllbAIIt o»r'6 8"BRITISHiA)LUMSIR ~ +,,:I;I:.CTRIC.i'RY iA. VANCOUVER CLASSIFIED ADS )GRANTEE) A Girl or woman to hei with teas at the West Vancouver Tennis Club on Saturdays and holi- clciytt. Phone West 17SX. NEWbIAN & ROBBINS -- Builders and Contractors--Painting, paper- hanging and kalsomining, chimneys built. 2Sth and Marine. Phone West 74 R1. HEbISTITCHING--I'lain.. «hite.. 5c yard; silk and colored 10c yard. Pearce's Drygoods, 14th Street and Marine. Phone KVest 144. W. JENVEY. Builder, Cabinet IVork of all kinds. Phone AVest 3-I6L LOST--I'air of Eye Glasses between Englewood High School and Holly- burn. Kindly phone West 165R3. EI.ECTRIC WIRING--Ranges, IVash- ers, radio, fixtures. Call us for pric- es. North Shore Electric--Radio, G. A. Broder, I'rop. lt. P. Clarke & Co. (Vancouver) Ltct BUILDING LOTS-- IVe have a choice« ~cry desirable building lots all districts at very reasonable prices on easy terms, and we can financially assist you in building a home. CIIANiCE FOR HANDY b1AN--Six lots with fruit trees, and partly con- structed large family home oneleva- tion providing delightful view, $ 1750 on terms. ALTAb1ONT--Fully &lodern Bunga- low in charming location, full plumb.ng, fire place and furnace for the winter, $3500 on terms. 1)o you value your Furniture and I'er- sonal effects T In case of fire what would this mean to you T IVe shall be pleased to quote you lowest standart rates. . P. C. Co. IL P. Clarke & Co. (Vancouver) LtrL 823 Hastings St. lV. Sey. 7483, 748i Local Representative C. J. ARCHER, IVest 225. FOR SALE--Nice Cottage on Fine large lot. Garden. Fine sea view, $ 1,000. F I V E- ROOM B UN GA LOIV on 200 feet frontage. Lovely garden, sea view. Garage. $2750 iVEST VANCOUVER INVEST- bl ENT COY. West 102. DUNI)AE1A VE--For Sale. nicely furnished bungalow with garden; corner property. A snap. Phone %est 47Y. G A RAG E FOR RENT~orner 13t h and Duches~ Reasonable Phone West 476L. HOUSE FOR SALE--New, blodern, four-room house with attic, within five minutes walk of ferry. Good locality, splendid view. Apply to Owner, P.O. Box 305, Hollyburn, or phone AVest 484. &IE.'e'S ANE) CIIILDRE'.tt'S SHOES at Tites--New address: Messenger Block. opposite Ambleside Lumber Company. CANADA PRIDE RANGE for sale $ 16. Phone West 19R. DUNI)ARAVE IIALL and its equip- ment for rent on a favorable lease. Living quarters. Apply K. A. Ray, 21st and Argyle. Phone West 30L. HIGII SCHOOL GIRt would care for children by the hour. Phone West 3971 I'LAIrN SEWING IVORK lVANTED-- by experienced seamstress. 2642 Lawson Ave., West 92L1. FOR SALE--I'honola phonograph-- Reasonable price. Also child's cot. Phone West lS-IL. WANTED--Large size heater. blust be in good order. Reply "Heater," c,o West Vaa News. A RT blON Ubl KNT CO LTD. Speci- alising in Capilano View Cemetery Tablets. 602 Kingsway. Fair. 1%8. FOR SAI.E S. E. Corner of 30th and &lathers Ave., Lott 66. D. L. 556. This comprises 147 acres overlooking the Straits of Georgia, situated in residential area, only one block from blarine Drive. $ 1,000 Cash. J. B. Leyland KILN DRIED IVOOD--Double load $4.00. Hobb Coal E: Transfer. AVest 17. CHEVROLET TOURING FOR SALE--New tires, excellent condition $-175. Terms. H. C. Osborne, West 62SY. SAND, GRAVEL and Building Sup- plies. Hobb Coal and Transfer. West 17. FURNISHED AND UNFURNISHED HOUSES AND CAMPS FOR RENT GEO. HAY Notary Public 1405 Marine Drive. West 21 City Office: 315 Cordova Street West Seymour 1260. OTICE TO ('. NTRACTORS SEIVING AVANTED Laclies'nd Children's work Mrs Bloxham Phone West 226. WILL ACCEPT West Van. Property in exchange for modern house, with large garden, near 3Iagee Station, two blocks from new public and high schools. Phone West 698R1 or West 340. IVEBB'S SHOE REPA I RS % EAIt BEST--Dundarave. SEALED TENDERS, marked "Ten- der for addition to Municipal Hall" will be received by the Architect up to 5 p. m. of Tuesday, July 3rd, for an ADDITION TO THE MUNICIPAL HALL, West Vancouver, B. C. Plans and Specifications may be ob- tained at the office of Hugh A. Hodg- son. Architect, 320 Province Bldg., Vancouver, B. C., after 4 p. m. of Tuesday, June 26th. on deposit of a cheque for Ten Dollars which will be returned on receipt of a bona fide tender and return of plans and speci- fications. A certified cheque, payable to the Corporation of the District of West Vancouver, for Two Hundred and fifty ($250.00) Dollars must accompany each tender. Cheques will be returned when contract is signed. The lowest or any tender not nec- essarily accepted. JAS. OLLASON, blunicipal Clerk, IVest Vancouver, B. C. BLINDS--Made to order and installed. Estimates free.Pearce's Drygoods, 14th Street anil Marine. Phone West 144. FOUNDATION, CE&1 Est,'T WORK L ndscaplng.'L wns made. Gradingand Clearing. T. Barnott, Resi ence Phone West 672R. FURNISHED ROO&IS TO RENT 3 Doors west from Ferry. ApplyOwner 1430 Bellevue Avenue or P.O. Box 257, Hollyburn. AIIBLESIDE H lLL Applications for reservations of the Ambleside Hall for the present may be made to the agents for the build- ing. GEO. IIAY Notary Public 1405 Marine Drive Phone West 21 WATER SERVICE S:~:4:l::5':4::lb'G ):--::OU:4S No Garden Hose may be used before permit is paid for. Sprinkling hours until further notice are: District East of 22nd Street:-- blondays, wednesdays and Fridays, 6 10 p. m. District )Vest of 22nd Street:-- Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays, to 10 p.m. Caulfeild same as last year. to 8a.m. and 7 to 6 to 8 a.m. and 7 Leaks or ivilful avaste of svater should be reported at once to the Water Department, Telephone West 44. Signed, JAilIES OLLASOX, C.II.C.