The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

001C952A Baseball THE WEST VAN NE+$ Whimsical Review Correspondence May 25, 1928. Intermediates and Argyles Tid'ast Friday night, playing their first home game, the )Vest Van. Intermediates met their match, but held the Renfreiv Argyles to a 5-all tie. On Monday night the Cardi- nals handed the local boys their first trimming of the season to the tune of 12 runs to 4. Jack Normand and Bill Davie work- ed hard, but were not given the best of support, while some of the boys have yet to get their batting eye. Eddie Downie played his usual steady game at frst. Tonight the boys will meet Mountain View at Ambleside Park, and hope to show the fans some of the pep that avon their first three games in Vancouver. Indians Swamp IVest Van. Dreamy Nook, Dundarave, May 20th. Editor AVest Van. News: Sir--I must congratulate you upon the prompt reply I receiv- ed to my information asked for from "Mina Hutt," Landscape Architect, and also for the kind and instiuctive ieply cont~inecl in the lovely letter accompanied by»ample of seeds for the "Mallow Marvels." This is a cer- tain help to us in making our municipality a pleasant sight for both residents and visitors, and should be taken advantage of bv all who wish instruction regard- ing planting and horticulture generally. I shall certainly take the opportunity of their kind offer from the Seattle office to bring me a few of their Mallow Marvel plants. Thanking you and "Nina Hutt," I am, yours sincerely, MRS. G. BULKLEY. The Editor YVest Van. News: Might I draw attention in your columns to what appears to be a pest of beetles in this dis- trict. The beetle in question is some- thing like a very large ant, and besides running about in the garden I have killed several in the house, while at Ambleside on Tuesday last I noticed a quan- tity upon the cement sidewalk, and those I killed appeared to he full of eggs. I am inclined to be- lieve this beetle is the parent of the "cut worm," and if so, no time should be lost in killing every one we see. The City has, at the present time, over 50 men fighting the earwig menace with specially prepared bait, and if we, in West Vancouver are threatened with the "cut worm" or other destruc- tive pest, we should indeed get busy before these insects have laid their eggs all over the place. Yours truly, C. J. ANTHONY. "Look herc, Bogus," asked Coloiiel White, "do you happen to know where Ink Judson is just now?""Yassah'nssah'ho'ose, sah," replied Brother Bogus. "He's asleep dis minute over dair in de shade of de lumber ynhd lookin'or a job, sah." Last Monday was a sizzling day, but the real sizzle was not experienced bv the local ball- fans until the evening. That iveird exhibition between the Indians and the West Van. team is an experience that ivill live long in the memory of those who ivitnessed the fracas. The In- dians emerged on the long end of a 13 to 10 score, which is go- ing some for a seven innings'ame.At the end of the fourth )Vest Vancouver, behind the masterly pitching of Lindsay, had depressed the Indians to the tune of 7-nothing. Andy Paul divas in a slough of despond, and the genial Mickey Abbott was wearing a smile that looked fairly permanent. Everything tiful Upon the Mountains" seemed rosy for making it five wins out of six starts, when Lord started an extempore per- formance in the infield which caused much weeping and wail- ing and gnashing of teeth in the local camp. Overthrows and underthrows, wide throws and short throws were made, to the delight of the Indians but to the consternation of the )Vest Van. followers. AVhen the smoke had cleared away the Indians had netted eight runs in the one in- nings. )Vest Van. came back strong and put over three more runs, but the Indians were on the warpath and eventually ran up their tally to the fateful 13. Nevertheless it was a game full of fireworks. Jack Maveety at short played an exceptionally fine game, and his prowess with the club on two different occa- sions just about raised the roof of the grandstand. The bases were full when he made one of the longest hits ever recorded at Mahon Park, his homer bringing in the three runners ahead of himself. Next time at bat he made a redhot three- bagger with two on bases. Monday night's exhibition will, we understand, cause a change in the infield lineup, and it is expected that the over- exuberance of one of the regu- lars will cause a vacancy in that position. We now stand at the head of the league, with four wins out of six. The boys are all primed for next Monday'I, game, and, if you are a baseball fan, you had better be on hand to see the fireworks. H. Ransome is a new pitcher who wil] join the local team next Monday. Ransome has played ball in the Interior and on the Prairies for some time, and comes highly recommended. The addition of this player gives AVest Van. a strong hurling staff and should just about mean the cinching of the pennant. Next Monday West Van. will play the Native Sons at Mahon Park, and on Thursday will stage a game at home. "Jim. I see that your mule hns 'U. S.'randed on his hind left leg. I suppose he was an Army mule and belonged to Uucle Sam." "No, suh, dat 'U. S.'on't mean nothin'bout no Uucle Sam--dat's jess n warnin'. Dnt 'U. S.'tands for 'Un Safe,'at's nll."--Boy's Life. Manager's Wife: "Your husband certainly is in love with you, isn' he?" President's Wife: "Yes, he raves about me in his sleep, but the poor absent-minded dear nearly always calls me by the wrong name." Dangerously Deep Northerner: "Pretty mild winter you have down here." Southerner: "Mild? Do you call two feet of snow mild?" Northerner: "Two feet! Say man, the snow wns so deep in our country last winter that the farmers had to jack up their cows to milk 'em."-- Chippewa. Following is a schedule of games for the West Vancouver team in the Intermediate Divi- sion: May 25--West Van. vs. Moun- tain View, Ambleside Park. May 28--Mountain View vs. West Van., wolfe School. June 1--West Van. vs. Ex- Brock, Ambleside Park. June 5--EVest Van. vs. Colling- wood, Ambleside Park. June 7--Cardinals vs. West Van., EVindermere Park. June 11--West Van. vs. Com- ets, Ambleside Park. June 18--Ex-Brock vs. AVest Van., Van Horne School. June 26--Renfrew vs. West Van., Clark Park. July 6--AVest Van. vs. Cent- rals, Ambleside Park. No. 5 feny underwent the an- nual inspection of her hull and equipment Tuesday by the offi- cials of the Department of Ma- rine, the inspection of her ma- chinery having taken place a month ago. The lane at the rear of the Hay block, which runs to the Marine Drive, has been cleaned up and a new bridge put over the creek. Who's Blackest "Mandy, you say yo'one married a real black man. Why, he ain't real black nohow watsomevah. My hus- band nm real black. I's done slept with him fo'ive yeahs an'evah seen him n-tall." "Mebby so--mebby so. But my man's so doggone black dat de light-nin'ugs foiler him around in de daytime."--Calgary Eye-Opener. The District engineer advised the council that the float if built, will be put at the bottom of Nel- son Street, Horseshoe Bay, in ac- cordance with ther wishes. Send that boy on a long business trip who is always slipping you the confidential: "Say, have you heard the latest about Brother Blank?" To be trusted is a greater thing than to be loved. Captain: "All hands on deck. The ship is leaking." Voice from the Hold: "Aw, put a pan under it and come to bed."-- Hamilton Royal Coach. Teacher: "Do we eat the flesh of the whale?" Scholar: "Yes, ma'm." Teacher: "And what do we do with the bones?" Scholar: "We leave them on the side of our plate." POPULAR NORTH SHORE MEN OPERATE SHEET METAL AVORKS The Burrard Sheet Metal Works of North Vancouver are new advertisers in The News. This firm, which is composed of Archie Stewart and Jimmy Fal- coner, undertake all kinds of sheet metal work, furnaces, stoves, cornice, sky-lights, etc. Both the proprietors are men well known throughout the North Shore districts. Mr. Fal- coner is a piper of note, who at- tends most all the Scotch gath- erings and other public enter- tainments. Nr. Stewart is sec- retary of the North Shore foot- ball team and is a player of much ability. Arrangements are being made so that orders will be taken by some West Vancouver represen- tative. Meantime those desir- ing any kind of sheet metal work should get in touch with their North Vancouver office. Doctor (examining unconscious en- gineer): "Did that automobile hit his engine?" Fireman: "No, the driver slowed up to let the train go by and the engineer fainted."--Woman's World. OI',y.- is 0Problem Visitor--That old clock is very pretty, but it seems to keep very bad time. Old Lady--Oh, you have to understand it. I know that when it says half-past six and strikes eleven that it is really half-past eight.--London Passing Show. ..i.U Oi O. sQ Reverend Thompson--"How do you do, Mrs. Smith? I hear your husband is ill." Mrs. Smith--"Yes, I'm sorry to say he is." "Is he critical?" "Critical? He's worse than critic- al; he's abusive." "~~pea~i,.~we'rs.Bridley (at 1 a.m.)-- "Oh, Jack, wake up! I can just feel there's a mouse in the room.'usband(drowsily) -- "Well, just feel there's a cat too, and go to sleep." -- Boston Trans- cript. The Goat '0'schoolboy's essay: "A goat is about as big as a sheep if the sheep is big enough. A female goat is called a buttress; a little goat is called a goatee. Goats are very useful for eating up things. A goat will eat upmore things than any animal thatain't a goat. My father had a goat once. My father is an awful goodman. Everything he says is so, evenif it ain't so. That is a!I I knowabout the goats." ~ 4 Only when we are loyal ourselvescan we expect loyalty in others. ~~ stanched g Q.ualltv Traffic Judge 1950-- grong side of the cloud, eh? Fifty dollars and costs."--Baltimore Sun. The Nymph--"I must go and change into something cool for the evening." The Ogre--"Why not take off your beads dear?" -- London Opinion. It is a good rule to watch every- body; the honest man may be care- less. THERE s Mo GAs LIKE'HQME NO LIE "Before Eve came into the world poor Adam had no one to take his part." "Oh, yes he did. Eve was on his side. Was He an Infant Prodigy? "Young man," said a rich and pomp- ous old gentleman, "I was not always thus. I did not always ride in a motor car of my own. When I first started in life I had to walk," "You were lucky," rejoined the young man. "When I first started I had to crawl. It took me a long time to learn to walk." "Why did that cop make you move your car away from the horse?" "He almost arrested me for parking near a plug." 9 a lay~gas DISTRIBljTORS. 'eteumueDI I M I ~~~ SCY 6780. PRODUCE R S, PE FINERS & D ISTR IO UTORS