The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

THE WEST VAN NEWS 7 1 November 25, 1927. * (Continued from Page 2) phide, though not adapted for parlour games, is a most useful indicator of conditions which, if its unlovely odour did not compel attention, might otherwise be al­ lowed to persist. We are more fortunate than the people of me­ dieval Europe ,who took the smell as a matter of course, and allowed the conditions to which it pointed to continue, the re­ sult of which was marked in the frightful epidemics which swept the Old World from time to time. Carbon bisulphide has come in­ to prominence in the modern world, by reason of its power to dissolve rubber and asphalt. But nobody professes to like it, and very few get used to it. This is fortunate, for its vapour is dis­ tinctly unhealthy. The text­ books say that it has a pleasant ethereal odour when pure; but I never met anybody who knew the "pleasant ethereal odour," or who had even known somebody else that had experienced it. 1 remember a pair of rascally students (one of them was after­ wards the inventor of a process for making seven-year-old whis­ key in three months). These bright hoys sealed up a few drops of the liquid in a little glass tube, and when the railway car­ riage in which they were travel­ ling grew inconveniently full, they quietly broke it. They got the carriage to themselves at the next station, along with a few pungent comments on their per­ sonal habits. To my mind the vilest of sub­ stances is mercaptan, twin broth­ er to the alcohol for which so many people seem ready to die. e difference between the twins that the oxygen in whiskey is eplaced by sulphur in mercap­ tan. There is only one way of really knowing the smell of mer­ captan; but if you can imagine the concentrated essence of rot­ ten garlic, you will come near it. If alcohol had smelt like its sul­ phurous brother, no Volstead Act would have been necessary to keep Americans from tippl­ ing. I remember a student at the next bench to mine who dis­ covered by accident an easy way of making the abomination. We had it in the laboratory every few days for a while, in spite of the vigilance of the assistant professor. I once found a bottle contain­ ing a little of the substance. The bottle was glass-stoppered; and such bottles were worth salvag­ ing in those days. I took the bottle home, and chipped off the sealing-wax around the stopper in the garden. I then eased the stopper, but did not withdraw it. A minute later a head was put out of a third-storey window, and I was told without superflu­ ous politeness to "take that hor­ rid dirty thing way." I had to do it. Iso-cyanide of ethyl is another relative of alcohol which has an unholy reputation. It is said to be of use as a test for chloro­ form. I remember the professor of chemistry demonstrating it for us. He mixed up a little of the brew in a test-tube, warmed it for perhaps 20 seconds, smelt it, and set it away in the draught cupboard at once. "I venture to say," he remarked, "that in a very few minutes you will have had enough of it." And sure enough we had. The infernal odour ascended even to the top story, three floors up, and hung about the corridors for the rest of the day. I happened to men­ tion this stuff to a young man of an inquisitive turn of mind in a Vancouver rooming-house. He wanted to know how it was prepared; but I refused to tell, and warned him that if I smelt it I would have him kicked out. Iso-cyanide of ethyl goes into the class of sickly odours, which includes also the essence of skunk. I am told that the local S C H O O L N O T E S Hollyburn School The Christmas concert is to be held on 21st December in the high school auditorium. Two performances are to bs given, one in the afternoon for the pup­ ils and one at night for the parents. The proceeds will go to the sports fund. The boys of the football team are getting sweaters made in the school colors of blue and white. Every Friday during Mr. Lane's period certain pupils of the higher classes give speeches on any subject they choose. These speeches help to give the pupils confidence, thus helping them to express themselves free­ ly and easily in the presence of others. MONA SENTANCE, Press Correspondent. High School The Commercial classes of the West Vancouver High School gave their programme last Fri­ day. The items were as follows: 1. Eggs to the Last-- Our hero -- Oswaldo Cuthu- bertly, Ella Gentleman; Clerk be­ hind counter, Connie Thomas; Man in Kitchen, Seiji Homma; Cashier, Helen Colpitts. 2. Chorus: -- "That Tumble Down Shack in Athlone." 3. Chorus: -- "Pal of My Cradle Days." 4. A Real Old Ford-- Tires: S. Homma, G. Gray, A. Burns and A. Grieve. Spare Tire, Jack Gawthorn. Driver and Passenger, Gordon McVean and Lucy James. 5. Reading: -- Ten Thousand Years Hence, Beatrice Short. 6. Young Lochinvar--Panto- mine. Reader, Alma Partington. Parson, George Gray. Bride and Grooom, Connie Thomas and A. Grieve. Young Lochinvar, Jack Gaw­ thorn. Bride's Parents, E. Gentleman and D. Payne. Bridesmaid and Best Man, Ir­ ene Young and S. Homma. Ring - bearer, Train - bearers, etc., J. Beattie, A. Lester, Celest- ine B., Lucy James, Beatrice Short and L. Becker. 7. Dance, Frances Brydon- Jack. 8. Chorus, Funiculi, Funicula. 9. Chorus:--Underneath the Mellow Moon. 10. Commercial Yell. 11. God Save the King. Pianist, Ella Gentleman. The girls of the High School are practising basket-ball in the gymnasium on Mondays and Wednesdays at noon, and Tues­ day afternoons at 4 o"clock. skunk is only a feeble imitation of the real Simon Pure; but most people are more than satisfied with the one we have got. I recently read of a group which speculated on the animal that would become the king of beasts if the big and small ones could interchange sizes. A lady sug­ gested the mouse; but another, more experienced, remarked that a skunk four feet high would be the boss of all creation. Person­ ally, however, I have my doubts. I fancy that stink-bug half an inch high could boss even the household of the giant skunk. I was once staying at Seymour Falls overnight. About three o'clock in the morning I woke up to find the atmosphere a little strong. There was no sleep for me after that. I lay awake with my nose inside the blankets, and speculated on the possibility of all the skunk cabbages in the country having migrated to the Falls like Birnam Wood to Dun- sinane. Soon after daylight my travelling companion came in to say that he had caught a skunk in one of his traps. Iwas glad to have him light a cigarette; but I was still more glad to get away after breakfast. Whimsical Review Doctor--"I'm afraid I will have to operate for appendicitis." ' Little Beauty -- "Oh, Doctor, will the scar show?" Doctor -- "Not unless you go into the movies."--Star Liner. Too Close A negro went into a bank down South to get a check cashed. He stood in line a long time and finally his turn came. Just as he got to the window the teller put up a sign: "The Bank is Busted." The Negro -- "What do you mean, the bank is busted?" Teller--"Well, it is, that's all; it's busted--didn"t you ever hear of a bank being busted?" The Negro--"Yes; but I never had one bust right in my face before."--The Christian-Evang- elist (St. Louis.) Little; Scottish Girl: "Isn't that a nice wee dug?" English Visitor: "It's a dog, child--not a dug." Little Scottish Girl: "Well, it's awfu' like a wee dug." She: "How was it you were not at Westend's reception?" He: "I stayed away on account of a personal matter." She: "May I ask what it was?" He: "Will you promise to keep it a secret ?" She: "Yes." He: "Well, they failed to send me an invitation." "Hey, mister. Call your dog off." "Nothin' doin'. I've called him Towser ever since he was a pup." "Is she the leading lady?" "Yeah, she's leading the or­ chestra by about four measures." "Is your father very old?" "Jusc a little, his head is just beginning to .push through his hair." • ' Two thousand years ago Aesop said, "The only thing some guys can make is an acquaintance." What a sweet, old-fashioned country Siam is. The king died a natural death. "Is May a good girl?" "Yes, indeed. After the wed­ ding she forgot she was married and slapped her husband when he tried to kiss her." He--I had a wonderful time at your party last night. She--Why, I had no party last night. He--That so? Well, believe me, I was at somebody's party. I said that I loved you As I held you close in my arms, When over your shoulder A new face appeared-- An alluring, exotic flower. Again I said, "I love you," But I was looking Over your shoulder. Heebie: "Have you heard the latest Ford joke?" Jeebie: "Heard it? Why say, man, I own it." C L A SSIFIE D A D S. R. I*. C larke & Co. (V ancouver) Ltd. U LTRA M ODERN, A ttra c tiv e A p­ pearance, well designed hom e. Sem i- B ungalow ; stucco finish; six room s; sun room jex tra d ress in g room ; good location; la rg e lo t; $4,900. W ould tak e ch eap er hom e as p a r t paym ent. H O M E AND F U R N IT U R E F IR E IN ­ SU RA N CE. A re you fu lly p ro tec t­ e d ? W e will quote you low est s ta n d a rd r a te s in f irst c lass soundly estab lished com panies. C onsu lt U s fo r M ortgages and In v es t, m ents. W e Specialise in th is a ttra c t iv e grow ­ ing m unicipality . See us fo r hom es, hom esites, ac reag e , w a te rfro n tag e , in vestm en ts. F isca l A g en ts : R. P . C lark e & Co. (V ancouver) Ltd. 823 H a s tin g s St. W. Sey. 7483, 7484 Local R ep resen ta tiv e C. J . A R C H ER . W est 651L 11th AN D ESQ U IM A LT YOU A R E IN V IT E D to inspect our Subdivision of la rg e hom esites in th is f a s t g row ing a rea . L ots from $350 to $500. T erm s $40 cash ; $20 p e r m onth. GEO. HAY 1405 M arine D rive 315 Cordova W. W est 21 Sey. 1260. N A V IG A B LE W A TE R S PR O TEC ­ TIO N ACT R.S.C. C H A P T E R 15. The B ritish Colum bia Telephone C om pany h ereb y g ives notice th a t i t has u n d e r Section 7 o f th e said A ct deposited w ith th e M in is te r of Public W orks a t O ttaw a , and in the office o f the D is tr ic t R e g is tra r of Land R eg­ is try D is tr ic t o f G roup 1, New W est­ m in s te r D is tr ic t a t V ancouver, B ritish Colum bia, a descrip tion of th e s ite and th e p lans of th e lay ing of a subm arine telephone cable proposed to be laid acro ss E n g lish B ay fro m th e foot of T a tlo w W alk in S tan ley P a rk to th e foo t of 17th S tre e t, in th e M uni­ c ip a lity of W est V ancouver. And tak en o tice th a t a f te r th e ex ­ p ira tio n o f one m onth from th e date o f th e first pub lication of th is notice th e B ritish Colum bia T elephone Com­ p a n y w ill u nder Section 7 of the said A ct, ap p ly to th e M in is te r of Public W orks a t h is office in th e C ity o f O t­ taw a , fo r app ro v a l o f th e said site an d p lans, and fo r leave to lay said su b m arin e cable. D ated a t V ancouver, th is 25th day o f N ovem ber, 1927. B R IT IS H COLUM BIA T E L E P H O N E COM PANY. R. B L O X H A M M ASON, CONTRACTOR S pecia lty :-- F irep laces and T ile M antels, S inks, etc. P h o n e: W est 497. T H IS E X P L A IN S IT The inebria ted young m an rocked in to th e lobby o f a g re a t hotel f a r from his n a tiv e land. H e looked into a ta ll m irro r and sm iled w ith p leasu re "Look!" he cried. " T hey've g o t a pic­ tu re o f m e h e re !" "How fast do you drive ?" "Oh, I generally hit about sixty almost any day." "Gracious, do you kill any?" "Never despair. Somewhere above the clouds the sun is shin­ ing." "Yes, and somewhere below the sea there's solid bottom, but that doesn't help a man when he falls overboard." LOST-- Ladies' S ilver C ig a re tte Case betw een 19th and W est Van. F e rry . P hone W est 469R. GET W est Van. E lectric P rices on Radio, V acuum , Iro n s and all elec­ trical appliances. A g en ts fo r M ar­ coni Radio. FO R SALE;-- Fum ed Oak L ibrary T able and hand pow er W ashing M a­ chine in good condition. Phone W est 489. M ONEY Im m ediately A vailable for M ortgages. A pply, Savory and D u­ val, 1429 M arine Drive. Phone W est 340. RE N T-- A ttra c tiv e M odern Bungalow, sem i-finished, w arm and built-in fea tu re s . G arage. 31st n e a r M arine Phone B ayview 7030L. H O U SE FO R SA L E -- New modern four-rocm house w ith a ttic . Lot c leared and cu ltivated , w ith in g five m inu tes of fe rry . Good s tre e t, splendid view. P rice $3,400, on easy term s. A ddress ow ner, P . O. Box 305, H ullyburn, B. C. TO RE N T-- Nice Furn ished Bungalow. P ossession a t once. W ith fu el, $20 p e r m onth. 29th A venue and M arine Drive. A pply to ow ner, H enry P e n ­ nell, 810 10th Avenue E a s t, V an­ couver, o r phone F a irm o n t 555X. PA PE R H A N G IN G , P a in tin g , Decor­ a tin g , etc. D ay or con tract. A pply V. Hex-nandez, Phone W est 678L. CE M E N T B A SEM EN T FLOORS. Sidew alks and D ra in T iles Laid. Rock w alls, Jo b b in g and genera l co n trac tin g . T. B a rn o tt, residence phone W est 672R. D R ESSM A K IN G -- M rs. Robbins, 28th and M arine. P hone W est 74R1. FO R R E N T-- U nfurn ished Five-room Bungalow' on W a te rfro n t a t A lta- m ont. P hone Leyland, W est 63R1. VACUUM TO R E N T-- See W est Van. E lectric . Phone W est 108. N EW AN D SECON D H A N D F u rn i­ tu re bough t, sold, and exchanged. F re d T ite , K evill's Old S tand , Am - bleside. N EW M A N & RO BB IN S -- Builders and C on trac to rs-- P a in tin g , paper- h a n g in g an d kalsom ining , chim neys built. 28th and M arine. Phone W est 74R1. H E M S TIT C H IN G -- P lain w hite 5c y a rd ; s ilk and colored 10c yard . P e a rc e 's D rygoods, 14th S tre e t and M arine. Phone W est 144. W IN DO W BLIN DS-- M ade to order and insta lled . E s t. m ates free. P e a rc e 's D rygoods, 14th S tre e t and M arine. P hone W est 144. G A R D EN IN G by Old Country G ard­ en e r w ith C anadian experience. Rock g a rd en in g special. By day or co n trac t. T erm s m oderate . P. Ed­ w ards, P. O. S herm an. Phone W est 165R1. S E \ ER A L L arg e Lots close to Cap- ilano R iver betw een M arine Drive and K eith Road, only $160 each, term s. FOR R E N T-- Lovely Five-room New Stucco B ungalow w ith fu rn ace , n ea r P au line Johnson School. TW O A djoin ing Lots, 123 f t. x 132 ft. each o r K ing's Avenue, betw een 22nd and 23rd. F o r cash,' $800. A pply GEO. GOURLAY, West 2. M ONEY TO LOAN $500.00 up No delay W est Van. Inv estm en t Coy. N o ta ry Public. W est 102 Being in love is just like ski jumping. First you are up in the air and then you come down to earth with a jar. But, oh, what a thrill you get while you are still in the air. "Hands Off," said the sign on the big buzzsaw. Inquisitive Edward didn't believe in signs. Hands off was right. Mother: "Oswald, you should never do anything which you would be ashamed for the whole world to see." Oswald: "Horray! I won't have to take any moreb aths!" CORPORATION OF THE DISTRICT OF WEST VANCOUVER V O T E R S M J S T , 1 9 2 8 Voters' List now in course of preparation. See that your name is included if entitled to vote. SPECIAL ATTENTION -- None but register­ ed deed-holders and registered agreement for sale holders are placed on list. Where agree­ ment is registered, deed holder can not vote on same property. Agreements or deeds must be registered at the Land Registry Office, Van­ couver, B. C., on or before 30th November, 1927, on which date list closes. JAS. OLLASON, Holly burn, B. C. Municipal Clerk. 11-11-1927. -- P.