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November 4, 1927. THE WEST VAN NEWS 7 PROGRAMME Grand Concert given by THE WEST VANCOUVER MUSICAL SOCIETY in the HOLLYBURN THEATRE on Thursday. November 10th. at 8.15 p.m. » 1. CHORUS--"Fire, Fire, My Heart"..........................Morley 2. McINTYRE QUARTETTE a. --"Canto Amaroso" b. --"Gondoliere" ............... Nevin 3. SONG--a. "Drink to Me" ..................................... Quiller b. "My Lovely Celie" 4. CHORUS--"Nymphs and Shepherds".................. Purcell 5. SONG--Selected Mr. J. Flett G. CHORUS--"Deep River" ...................................Burleigh 7. McINTYRE QUARTETTE a. --Ardotik........................... Graig b. --"Gypsy Dance" ...........German 8. CHORUS--"Bells of St. Michael" ...................... Stewart 9. SONG--a. "Invocation of Life"..............................Spross b. "A Pastoral" ..................................... Varacina Miss Anne Ritchie 10. CHORUS--"Kitty of Coleraine" ..............................Lloyd 11. SONG--Selected Mr. Wm. Sparrow 12. CHORUS--"My Love Dwelt in a Northern Land" ..Elgar Assisted at the piano by Miss M. McIntyre Director--Professor J. M. Morgan News Gleams C L A S S IF IE D A D S . A dumb wife is all right if she's dumb. All tragedies have plots -- cemetery plots. About the only thing that comes to him who waits is whis­ kers. Every cloud has a silver lining, and even an old suit of clothes has its shiny side. A bigamist is a man who keeps on making the same mistake. He is not a good driver if it's just a coincidence if the road turns when it does. When a woman tells you she will be true to the last, always try and find out how long you will be the last. Man is born with certain in­ alienable rights which aren't worth much when he meets a bigger man driving a big truck. SID BOYS BILLIARD CHAMPION GIVES EXHI­ BITION AT SHIELDS PARLORS Sid Boys, the western Canada billiard champion, gave a bril­ liant exposition of the game "as it should be played" last Tuesday night at Chet Shields Billiard Parlor. Thie occasion was an exhibition game between Boys and Harding (North Shore champion). Harding received a start of 250 points but was able to add only 241 to this whilst Boys was making his 600. Sid made th ehigh break of the even­ ing rolling up a 93. Beach who had been advertised as his op­ ponent, was unable to come and Harding took his place. Gordon Kidd was, later in the evening pitted against Boys in a game of "Snooker" and was beaten by 65 to 35. During the evening a short course of instruction was given the spectators when the champi­ on demonstrated the various shots of every day play. Angles of tables, In-offs, Follow on shots, drawing the ball, etc. Almost a hundred interested spectators watched the play and the capacity of the hall was tax­ ed to its utmost to hold the audi­ ence. The progressive spirit of the proprietor--Chet Shields, in bringing to our doors this cham­ pion was greatly appreciated by his patrons and lovers of the good old game pf billiards. MRS. MALPASS HONORED Mrs. H. R. McDonald, 15th and Fulton, entertained at lunch yes­ terday in honor of Mrs. T. Mal- pass who is leaving the district to take up residence in Point Grey. A very pleasant time was spent. In the afternoon the guest of honor was presented with a beautiful pair of silver vases as a token of remembrance from a few of her friends who wish her every happiness in her new home. The West Van Pharmacy and the Lesage Drug Store will both be closed on Thanksgiving Day, Monday, from 5 p. m. to 8 p. m. THE WORD "NEWS" HOW IT FIRST CAME INTO EXISTENCE Julius Caesar may be said to have founded the first "newspap­ er," but this was in the form of waxed tablets upon the surface of which the "Acts of the (Rom­ an) Senate" were scratched with pointed tools by trained writers known as tabularii. The Acts of the Senate gradually developed into a publication of general news, named "Acts of the City." But, even before the time of Caesar, the Egyptians and the Chinese referred to the word "news'" in their literary works. The word in English, however, has originated from various sources. Before the advent of printed newspapers, written mes­ sages and dispatches were car­ ried from town to town by "news reporters" riding on horse-back. In the course of time this sys­ tem is said to have led up to the practice of posting important news items on boards in public places, such as the local inns, the "towne hall," the stations from which stage coaches departed, etc. According to historical not­ es in old English books, came the time when the written news items were pinned or pasted up­ on the bulletin boards under four different letter-headings as, N. E. \V. S. Under the letter N "publick occurrences" in the North part of the country were placed. Happenings in the East were reported under the E col­ umn. In the W column news from the West was given, while in the space under the S were placed reports from the South. Eventually, these four letters of the compass were joined to­ gether to form the word NEWS as it is known today. And, from this word the compound word Newspaper, was gradually form­ ed. Whimsical Review He worked in a quarry and he took a whole lot for granite. "What's the lump on the front of your car?" "Oh, the radiator had a boil." Girl to Boy Friend in Restaur­ ant: "How about a chicken sal­ ad?" Ikey: "No, no, I don't eat pork." Dora: "Did Paul stay away very long?" Cora: "Not very, but he went away too far." "What's the man feeding the elephants moth balls for?" "To keep the moths out of his trunk, silly." "Well--such a thing never ent­ ered my head till this moment!" exclaimed Goliath as David open­ ed up with his slingshot. Pick: "Is Bill a popular boy?" Wick: "Popular? Why, when he left town thirty girls went back into circulation." She: "How did you ever guess my age?" He: "I just counted the rings around your eyes." "I can read your mind like a book." the prof, droned on. "I can tell just what each of you is thinking." "Well, why don't you go there?" remarked the cynic in the rear seat. Mrs. Rapper: Is there any dif­ ference, dear, betwen a fort and a fortress ? Mr. Rapper: Well, I should think that a fortress would be much harder to silence! Rastus: "Here's dat quatah Ah borrowed from yuh last year." Bones: "Yuh done keep it so long, Ah don't know ef it's wuff while.fo' me to change mah opin­ ion of yuh jest fo' two bits." She: "S"matter don't you like my company?" He: "Where is it?" "I'm thinking of going to Eur­ ope; how much will it cost me?" "Nothing." "Nothing!" "Yes, thinking about it won't cost you anything." Salesman: "What kind of a car sir? How large is your fam­ ily?" Man: "A wife and eight child­ ren." Salesman: "Then let me show you a racing model. You can get away much faster." "Your money or your life," snarled a holdup man to a young victim. 'Take my life then," suggested the latter. "I need the money to take my girl out to the movies tomorrow evening." A Puzzler A man having deposited $50 in a bank withdrew 1-- $20, leaving a balance of $30 2-- $15, leaving a balance of $15 3-- $9, leaving a balance of $6 4-- $6, leaving a balance of 0 $50 $51 "Well, Bill, how goes things?" "That's' just what I'm trying to find out," said Bill, looking up from his job of cleaning the hen house. "I bought these hens for our Jimmy, I pay for the food for 'em, mother buys the eggs off Jimmy, Jimmy eats 'em, and I'm wonderin' whether the darned things pay." R. I*. Clarke & Co. (Vancouver) Ltd. ATTRACTIVE FAMILY HOME -- Three bedrooms with full plumbing upstairs; entrance hall, dining and sitting room with fireplace; kitchen wired for range. Lots of cupboards. Good furnace. $3850, or close offer considered. Terms about $600. BUILDING LOT--Facing south, nice w ater view. Snap for cash a t $175 or cheap on term s a t $225. We have a select list of homes and homesites a t attractive prices. We Specialise in this attractive grow­ ing municipality. See us for homes, homesites, acreage, w aterfrontage, investments. Fiscal Agents: R. P. Clarke & Co. (Vancouver) Ltd. 823 Hastings St. W. Sey. 7483, 7484 Local Representative C. J. ARCHER. West 651L Correspondence Hollyburn P. O., West Vancouver, B.C., 2-11-27. Editor West Van News, Dear Sir: I shall esteem it a favor if you will grant me a little space in your paper to comment on Hal­ lowe'en rowdyism indulged in by our local youths. I have been a resident of West Vancouver for seventeen years and I never experienced any­ thing during this period like the happenings on 20th Street on Monday night last. In the old days there was plenty of fun without hooliganism. After having property wreck­ ed beyond repair last year on Hallowe'en, I was determined it should not happen again. I spent my entire evening and part of the following morning patrol- ing three houses. The fact that citizens must do this to safe­ guard their places is in itself bad enough, but when one is attack­ ed by these toughs who use the tactics of thugs of the under­ world depicted in the movies, I think it is time it was checked. Some of these embryo criminals should be made an example of be­ fore they achieve some act, which no doubt in time they will if let alone, which they will hang for. Such things as five or six tackl- ling one, bearing him to the ground by sheer weight of numb­ ers, and then proceeding to kick him in the face, or hurling rocks and striking opponents with thegi is not what one would ex­ pect from what one lady describ­ ed them as, "clean cut, noble young men." I call them low­ bred curs. All this takes place because a man objects to have things which have cost not only money, but endless labor to obtain, de­ stroyed to satisfy a mischievous whim of those vandals. I am for peace; but not at "any price." If I have got to fight to defend my belongings, I will do so whole heartedly and any other man with any sand in him would do the same, and not be ashamed of it. This sort of thing is carried too far now and I am going to do my bit to check it. I secured one man and held him for the police. I only wish I had more of fhem. Which way this case will go I don't know, but what­ ever happens I have made more than a formal protest. I am collecting my evidence now, and when I am ready the summons which I have before me will be served. Those fellows are not boys, but men in size and strength. All they lack to make them perfect men is decent manhood and brains. Thanking you, Yours truly, W. STUART McINTYRE. DRESSMAKING and A lterations by the day. Write Mrs. Palmer, Holly­ burn P. O. WOMAN WANTS HOUSE WORK -- few hours daily. Apply "Work," c o West Van News. SMALL WELL FURNISHED, fully Modern home. Suit adults. Apply 2061 Esquimalt. GARDENING by Old Country Gard­ ener with Canadian experience. Rock gardening special. By day or contract. Terms moderate. P. Ed­ wards, P. O. Sherman. Phone West 165R1. FOR SALE;--Electric Washing Ma­ chine, $80, also full china dinner service. $20. Phone West 197R. FOR RENT--Furnished Cottage, Hol­ lyburn. W ater and light. Rent $15 month. Apply 1765 Duchess. Phone West 686L. PLAIN SEWING and Children's Clothes. Christmas novelties and lingerie. Mrs, Simpson, W est 488X. CEMENT BASEMENT FLOORS, Sidewalks and Drain Tiles Laid. Rock walls, Jobbing and general contracting. T. Barnott, residence phone West 672R. ________ DRESSMAKING--Mrs. Robbins. 28th and Marine. Phone W est 74R1. TAILORING--Children's Clothes. A lt­ erations. Phone W est 53R3. FOR RENT--Unfurnished Five-room Bungalow on W aterfront a t Alta- mont. Phone Leyland, W est 63RI. VACUUM TO RENT--See West Van. Electric. Phone W est 108. NEW AND SECOND HAND F urni­ ture bought, sold, and exchanged. Fred Tite, Kevill's Old Stand, Am- bleside. NEWMAN & ROBBINS -- Builders and Contractors--Painting, paper­ hanging and kalsomining, chimneys built. 28th and Marine. Phone W est 74R1. HEMSTITCHING--Plain white 5c yard; silk and colored 10c yard. Pearce's Drygoods, 14th Street and Marine. Phone West 144. WINDOW BLINDS--Made to order and installed. Estimates free. Pearce's Drygoods. 14th Street and Marine. Phone W est 144. GET West Van. Electric Prices on Radio, Vacuum, Irons and all elec­ trical appliances. MONEY TO LOAN $500.00 up No delay W est Van. Investment Coy. N otary Public. W est 102 FURNISHED) AND UNFURNISHED HOUSES Unfurnished-- 5 Rooms, fully modern, fireplace. furnace close to ferry .... . $27.50 5 rooms, modern, close to ferry ........................................... $22.50 5 rooms fully modern, fireplace, furnace ......... $35.00 Furnished-- Altamont, 4 rooms, modern, 2 fire­ places ___ $25.00 Cypress Park, modern........... $25.00 and many more to choose from. GEO. HAY 1405 Marine Drive 315 Cordova W. West 21 Sey. 1260. A grass stain on washing ma­ terial can be removed by rub­ bing the mark with a little trea­ cle. Leave for five minutes, then wash the garment in warm, soapy water. Tarnished brass can be clean­ ed by dissolving two heaped tablespoonfuls of salt in half a pint of vinegar, and rubbing with this mixture. A little dry whitening should be used for pol­ ishing. Few people realize how simple it is to renovate a rusty spring mattress. First use a hard brush or emery paper to remove the worst of the rust. Then go over all parts of the mattress with a rag that has been dipped in paraffin. A little sweet oil added will prevent future rust. Cold potatoes used instead of soap clean the hands and make