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2 THE WEST VAN. NEWS April S, 1927. Whimsical Review Rastus Johnson, a thoroughly married darky, was one day ap­ proached by a life insurance agent. "No, sah," declared Rastus, "Ah ain't any too safe at home as it is." Of course, a college man must have a dictionary. He uses it to set the other end of the ironing board on when he presses his trousers. The difference between kissing in 1900 and 1927 is the difference between discussion and perform­ ance. A man's reputation is gener­ ally based on what isn't found out about him. There was a good man from Cal­ cutta. He talked with a terrible stutta: He screwed up his face When he tried to say grace And blew his false teeth in the butta. Bridge Expert: I held a per­ fect hand last night. Not So Dumb: Shook hands with yourself, I suppose. Father to little girl looking over a cargo boat: No, dear, they do not raise chickens in the hatchway. The rust of idleness destroys life, while the friction of activity strengthens and enlarges it. Little Girl: "Package of pink dye, please." Clerk: "For wollen or cotton goods ?" Little Girl: "No, for Mama's stomach; the doctor says she has to diet, and she wants a pretty color." 1 AM SATISFIED I am a happy man. The wedding, which was a very wonderful affair, is over. Many handsome gifts, tasteful decorations and a most impres­ sive ceremony, which went smoothly through to the end. The expressive earnestness of the congratulations afterwards was highly gratifying. And the bride--ah! Words fail me for adequate description of her exquisite loveliness. I am a very, very happy man. She was indeed beautiful. All told, it was a most thrill­ ing affair for her. She showed so plainly that she was thrilled to her little pink finger tips. But I wasn't thrilled. I was only the best man. That's why I'm happy. British Israel Association of West Vancouver Will Meet NEXT TUESDAY at 9 P.M. in the New Ambleside Hall Corner 14th and Murine Drive Speaker: MR. PERCY KING Subject: "The Time and Manner of the Second Coming of Christ." United Church The postponed Old-Time En­ tertainment in connection with the Women's Association will be given in the Church Hall on Tuesday evening. April 26th at 8 o'clock. A practice for the en­ tertainment will be held on Mon­ day afternoon at 2.30. A large turnout is earnestly requested. The regular monthly meeting of the Women's Association was held last Tuesday afternoon when a large number of the members were present. Among other matters of business it was decided to provide the supper for the next meeting of the A.O.T. S. The president, Mrs. Ritchie, gave a most helpful talk which was very much enjoyed. Re­ freshments were served at the close. An interesting service was held in the United Church last Sun­ day evening when Mrs. Beard, missionary who has just return­ ed from China gave an address. She told of the great difficulties the missionaries had to encount­ er on their way from the Inter­ ior of the country to the coast and the splendid courage of the native Christians during these trying times. Baptist Church Rev. David Long, Pastor. Sunday School, 10 a. m. Church Service, 11 a. m. Weekly prayer service each Wednesday at 7.30 p.m. C. N. Barton of the Clonguinie Rabbitry, applied to the Coun­ cil for permission to build and maintain a high class rabbit show place on Marine Drive be­ tween 15th and 16th Streets. The matter was referred to the mun­ icipal solicitor for his opinion on the bearing of the Zoning by-law on such a project. W EST VANCOUVER Christian Science Society Uundarave Hall. Marine Hr. Dundarave S n n d ay S e rv ic e a t 11.3# a.HL Subject April 10th "Are Sin. Disease nnd Death Real?" Sanday Sc hoc! a t 10.## a. m. Taatim ony M eeting every Wad- _____ naaday at 8.16 p. m. St. Stephen's Church Palm Sunday (April 10) 8 a. m.--Holy Communion. 10 a. m.--Sunday School. 11.15 a. m.--Morning Prayer. 7.15 p. m.--Evensong. The Rector will conclude the series of Lenten sermons on Palm Sunday, preaching in the morning on St. Paul's Epistle to the Ephesians and in the evening on Generosity as a mark of a Christian. At the morning ser­ vice Mr. J. H. Smith will sing "The Palms" (Faure) and in the evening the choir will render "The Pilgrims" (Leslie). In addition to the singing of "The Crucifixion" Good Friday night services will be held in Holy Week on Tuesday and Thursday night at 8 p. m. and on God Friday morning at 10.30 o'clock. On Good Friday evening the choir under the leadership of Mr. Grout and with the assist­ ance of an orchestra will sing the well known Passiontide Can­ tata by Sir John Stainer, "The Crucifixion," and the members hope to repeat their success of last year in the rendering of this beautiful work. The tenor solo­ ist will be Maj. A. M. Lester and the bass soloist, Mr. J. H. Smith. The collection will go to the Choir fund. At Tuesday's meeting of the A. Y. P. A. the rector gave an interesting lantern lecture on the history of the Church of Eng­ land up to the signing of Magna Charta. Mr. Porter very kindly provided his lantern for the eve­ ning. Two teams from the Sunday School will be entered in the Greater Vancouver S. S. Baseball League, one in the juvenile ser­ ies and one in the junior A ser­ ies. The regular meeting of the W. A. wil Itake place next Tuesday afternoon in the Parish Hall, when final arrangements will be made for the sale in Easter week. George Hanes has submitted to the council a plan and report on the proposed repairs to the westerly approach to the Keith Road bridge. Horticultural Society to Hold Meeting The Horticultural Society will hold their annual meeting on Wednesday, April 20th, at 8 p. m. in the New Ambleside Hall. The president will give his annual ad­ dress and report on the year's work, and the financial report for the year will be received. The election of officers and directors for the ensuing year will take place, and Professor F. E. Buck will give a short address. Meeting at Whytecliff re Water By-Law Reeve Vinson, with Councillor Watt, chairman of the Water­ works Committee, and Engineer Duncan will attend a meeting of the Whytecliff Ratepayers on Wednesday, April 20th, when de­ tails of the proposed by-law for a new water system will be ex­ plained to the people of Whyte­ cliff and district. have the protection of a Safety Deposit Box. We shall be glad to rent you one. To to ft guard Wills. Bonds. Stock*. D ttds. Policies. Family Paper* Small Jem tilery, etc., etc. The Royal Bank of Canada West Vancouver Branch - A. Chilton, Manager FOR WATERFRONTAGE anil other property HOUSES fO RENT, FIRE INSURANCE, ETC. see JOHN LAWSON 17th S tree t Phone W est 55 Troughton & Barrow B uy a LOT (o r a H om e; a H om o m e a n s a LOT. Real Estate & Insurance H E R E S IN C E 1810 D nndarare Phone West 83 F U E L Dry Bark, Coal & Wood of all kinds, Marine Woodyard (G. E. Currie, Prop) 25th and Marine Phone West 112 Satisfaction Guaranteed There's Enough Worry Surely a woman has quite enough work and worry without adding a couple of days a week to drudgery at a wash tub or over an iron­ ing hoard. It's far more economical to send your parcel to the Burrard Laun­ dry. They'll take great care of everything and the charges will never cause you a moment's concern. The Burrard Laundry Limited For People Who Are Particular THUD SH EET aa4 ST. DAVIDS North Vancouver Phone North 1310. H. II. Ballard Ambleside Tea Rooms Ferry Wharf WEST VANCOUVER Camp and Picnic Suppliaa, Tobaccos, etc. Published Every Friday II. IIODGSON and F. F. LOVBGKOVB I'hone Went I9L I'hune Went II2L Publishers Huaineea and Editorial Office: 1361 Marine Drive Mail Addreea: P. O. Box 101, Hollyburn, B. C. #1.00 a year by mail or carrier. News­ stands 5c per copy. ADVERTISING RATES ON APPLICATION TUB 4 West Van News I