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Resampled001B6DFB October 28, 1927. THE WEST VAN NEWS Whimsical Review "Have you any lawyer to de- fend you?" "I don't need one. I am going to tell the truth." Customer: "Can you change a pound note?" Village Chemist (cautiously): "Certainly. How will you have it? In pills or cough drops?" The average number of hairs on an adult's head is from 129,- 000 to 150,000. Lions and tigers are too weak in lung power to run more than half a mile. Soap was made by the Gauls over 2000 years ago. They made it of goat's fat and the ashes of beech trees."When Donald proposed to me he acted like a fish out of water." "Of course. He knew he was caught." 'he Great Western Railway passes through nineteen English counties and eight Welsh ones. A person breathes eighteen times 8 minute. "You know, darling, of course, I'm dying for us to get married, but I can't see how we'l ever af- ford it." "Oh, that's all right, dearest. I have a parson friend, and I'm sure he'l do it for nothing." The largest bell in the world is the Great Bell of Moscow. It is 19 feet high, 60 feet around the rim, and weighs 198 tons. What Your Heart Weighs The weight of the human heart is from 8 oz. to 12 oz. A little girl on a holiday was being shown around the town by her mother. They came to the Corporation Baths. "Oh, mummy," said the child, "is this the place where the fat people bathe?" The seaside singers had given their performance, and a collec- tion followed. Without a mom- ent's hesitation one man, ad- dressing the collector, with a Scottish accent, said- "No, my good fellow, I wasna listening." Cucumber time is the name given to the dull season in the tailoring trade. One inch of rain equals 101 tons to the acre. Norfolk has more churches in proportion to its population than any other English county. Shakespeare has a vocabulary of about 15,000 words. The av- erage man gets along with about three or four thousand. shortening, one teaspoon cocoa, one quarter teaspoon soda. Flour enough to make medium stiff one egg, one teaspoon vanilla, dough. Fill gem-pans half full and bake in a moderate oven. 4, h Set Color Add a half ounce of sugar of lead to a gallon of water and soak chintzes, ginghams and other colored cottons one hour to set the color. Date Roll Ten thousand of the threads spun by a full-grown spider would not be equal in substance to one hair of a man's head. "Do you find Smith very much changed after all these years?" "No, but he thinks he is." "How's that?" "Well, he's always saying what an ass he used to be." Four ounces butter, 4 ounces sugar, 1 egg, 8 ounces flour, 1 small teaspoonful baking powd- er, about half pound of dates, stoned. Cream butter and sugar add egg and beat, then add flour and baking powder. Roll a little of the mixture round each date and bake about ten minutes. British Columbia is- The world's fourth largest producer of lead. The world's third largest producer of zinc. Canada's largest producer of lead The world's second largest produc- er of minerals. The world's second largest produc- er of silver. The world's second largest produc- er of gold. Willie: "Can I have a ride on a donkey, mother?" "No, darling, Father says not." Willie (tearfully): "Why can't I have a ride on a donkey, mother?" Mother: "Oh, for goodness sake, Henry, give him a ride o'I your back to keep him quiet." Common Soap IViR Help If you are planning a camping trip, or even an excursion into the woods where the poison ivy may grow, don' neglect to put a piece of common yel- low laundry soap into your kit. This is one of the best things to use to prevent ivy poisoning. Just wash your face, hands, arms, or any other expos- ed skin with this coap as soon as you come out of the woods. Industry in B. C. is more diversified than in any other province. Our production is diveded ss follows:-- agriculture, 16.1 per cent., forestry. 27.6 per cent. Fisheries, 9 per rent. Trapping, 6 per cent. Mining 18.9 per cent. Electric power, 2.7 per cent. Repair work, 2.1 per cent. Manufacturing, N.E.S., 13.9 per cent. Here is the latest story about a plumber. He was just starting off tn work when his wife said:-- "Bob, bring me some kippers when you come back for what- ever you'e leaving behind." Vinegar rubbed over raw meat will keep it fresh and render it more digestible. Nut Biscuit Trouble Saving Ideas "Jack," pleaded the girl of his heart, "won't you please stop drinking for my sake?" "What on earth," was the re- ply, "gave you the idea that I drank for your sake." To keep chamois leather glov- es from losing their color, wash them in water in which orange rind has soaked over night. Two teacupfuls self-rising flour one tablespoonful butter, one cupful chopped nuts, a pinch of salt, and 8 little milk. Sift flour and salt, rub in the butter; add the nuts and sufficient milk to form a stiff dough. Make into balls, cut in half, then place on greased tins. Brush over with milk, then a sprinkling of chop- ped nuts. Bake in quick oven a golden brown. Do not use hot water on var- nished floors. Use a cloth wrung out in luke warm water. Each section should be rubbed with a dry cloth as it is washed. When marking linen take a rather blunt lead pencil, write the name or initials and follow over the pencil mark with ink. The lead prevents. the ink from running. A nervous passenger on the first day of the voyage asked the captain what would be the resu!t if the steamer should strike an iceberg while it was ploughing through the fog. "The iceberg would move right along, mad- am," the captain replied court- eously, "just as if nothing had happened." And the old lady was greatly relieved. hiiik Weed for Warts Should any of you be troubled with warts, you may be glad to know that the juice of milkweed is excellent for them. When you find the weed grow Rock ammonia, dissolved in boiling water, is excellent for re- moving moths from cat71ets. Use four ounces of ammonia to every quart of water. Apply with flan- nel, then go over the material with a very hot iron. One or two small pieces of rock ammonia placed in a bottle with a little eau de Colonge will make effective smelling salts. The bottle must be kept securely corked. The following was heard in the leafy darkness of a wooded slope above the promenade-- oI thought you were going to kiss me when you puckered up your lips just now." "No--er--that is--it was only a piece of grit in my mouth." "Then for goodness sake swal- low it--you need it." ing along the roadside or in a field, just break it off and apply the juice several times to the wart. It is said to be a sure cure if you use it often As potatoes get old add a little sugar to the water in which they are boiled. They will taste as good as new ones. Preserved Plums She threw him in the gutter, but he said he'd be darned if he' sewer. Four pounds, plums, four pounds sugar. Pick over plums and prick the skins so they will not burst in cooking. Arrange alternate layers of plums and sugar in a granite dish and let stand over night. In the morn- ing drain off syrup, boil and skim. Adcl plums and cook until tender. Fill into hot jars and seal. To remove smoke marks from ceilings, make a thick paste nf starch and water and spreacl it over the mark with a clean lian- nel. Allow paste to dry, then re- move with a soft brush. To improve worn oilcloth «dd a tablespoonful of painter's size to the water when washing. It must be terrible to be it barber and have to talk to one- self when one is shaving. "Did you hear about her teeth falling out while she was play- ing tennis?" "No. Did she lose the set?" Rhubarb Choiv Two quarts rhubarb, two pounds onions, three cups sugar, three cups vinegar, one table- ,t~ spoon cassia, cloves, two tea.~ spoons salt and pepper. Simmer tVI two hours. '-, lf Pantie Patches 'g I ',, & Diothers who have kiddies who wear the rubber pantie protectors might like to know that the protectors can be mended with adhesive tape and will wear quite a time if proper care is taken in putting them on. Tomatoes plunged into boil- g t f ' t t will peel easily and without waste. Cup Cakes One cup sour milk or butter- milk, two tablespoons sugar, one-s'hird cup corn syrup, one cup = cold bolied rice or potato or any ~vege&ble that can be mashed. &~,-='one tablespoon butter or anyrrt" CLASSIFIED ADS. FOR RENT--Furnished Diodern Bung- alow, 23rd and Waterfront. Phone West 664L or Seymour 3r38. HOUSE TO REVT--Dlodern, partly furnished, 19th and Waterfront. Phone Fairmont 2835L. FURNISHED AND UNFURNISHED HOUSES Unfurnished- S Rooms, fully modern, fireplace, furnace dose to ferry...... 527.60 6 rooms, modern, close to ferry 322$0 5 rooms fully modern, fireplace, furnace .......... 535.00 Furnished- Aitamont, 4 rooms, modern. 2 fire- places ................... 525.00 Cypress Park, modern ....... 325.00 and many more to choose from. We wish to announre that MR. R. P. BLOWER Late of Savory CD Duval is now con- nected with this office. BOARD Residence for Gentle. man in well appointed home. One minute from all transpor- tation. Terms strictly reason- able. Apply "Board," c~o West Van. News. DRESSMAKIVG--hire Robbins 28th and hiarine. Phone West 74R1. TAILORING--Children's Clothes. Alt- erations. Phone West 53R3. GEO. HAY 1405 Marine Drive 31st Cordova W. West 21 Sey. 1260. R. P. Clarke di Co. (Vancouver) Ltd. ALTADIONT--Snap Bargain in home- site. Area One Acre block in natur- al park. Ideal for nice home witi: lots of room for garden improve- ments, 5760; on terms. GLENEAGLES WATERFRONT Lots -- These Magnificent home are steadily being acquired by appreciative buyers. Two more were sold to a city professional man were sold to a city professional man this week. Wide choice is at pres- ent available. ADIBLESIDE--Ivest of Ferry. Ex- cellent site on Waterfront, very suitable for hotel, apartment house, recreation resort, natatorium, etc. Fine beach property. Ive Speciaiise in this attractive grow- ing municipality. See us for homes, homesites, acreage, waterfrontage, investments. Fiscal Agents: R. P. Clarke gt Co. (Vancouver) Ltd. 823 Hastings St. W. Sey. 7483, 7481 Local Representative C. J. ARCHER. West SSIL FOR RENT--Unfurnished Five-room Bungalow on Waterfront at Alta mont. Phone Leyiand, West 63RI. VACUUDI TO RENT--See West Vsn. Electnc. Phone West 108. NEW AND SECOND HAND Farnt- ture bought, sold, and exchanged. Fred Tite, KeviR's Old Stand, Am- bleside. LAWNS i)IADE--Cement Floors aad Sidewalks laid; Rock Walls built. T. Barnott, Residence Phone 672R. NEWDIAN gt ROBBINS -- Builders and Contractors--Painting, paper- hanging and kaisomining, chimneys built. 28th and Marine. Phone West 74RI. CHILDREN COACHED in Arithmetic History and Geography. Terms modcrate. Phone West 333. HE&ISTITCHING--Plain white 5c yard; silk and colored Ioc yard. Pearce's Drygoods, 14th Street and hiarine. Phone West 144. IVINDOW BLIiVDS--Dlade to order and installed. Estimates free. Pearce's Drygoods. 14th Street and hlarine. Phone West 144. LECTURE ON ROSES By J. Fyfe-Smith An interesting lecture under the auspices of the West Van- couver Horticultural Association was held in the New Ambleside Hall on Tuesday last and was well attended by members of the Association. The lecturer was Mr. J. Fyfe-Smith who is well known in Greater Vancouver as a successful grower of roses which was the subject taken by him. In the course of his remarks on how to produce good blooms he demonstrated the pruning and cutting back of the plants for success in exhibiting, mention- ing the best specimens of the very large family of this popu- lar garden favorite suitable to be grown in this locality. He also gave the formula for a very efficient spray to combat mildew, black spot, and the roller worm, and a suitable artificially compounded fertilizer, which are here given. Spray--One tea- spoon sulphide potassium, three ounces soft or whale soap, three gallons water to be used once a week as the foliage breaks up to the time of exhibiting. Fertilizer--Tcvelve pints Sup- hetposate of lime; ten pints Nit- rate of potash; two pints Sul- phate of Megnisia; one pint Sul- phate of iron; eight pints of Sul- phate of lime. Above can be made in smaller quantities in same proportion. GET Ivest Van. Electric Prices on Radio, Vacuum, Irons and ail elec- tricai appliances. &V INTED TO E.tCH ANrGE--Home rn Pomt Grey worth 35 000 for house m West Vancouver Phone hire Kissick West 331L FOR SAI E--Two very good building lots cleared. Phone Douglas 743 A LADY IVANTS Practical Nursing or housework or plain sewing hy the hour or day. Phone West 74RS mornings or evenings. FOR RENT--Lovely 6ve-room stucco bungalow with furnace, near Paul- ine Johnson School. Phone George Gourlay, West 2. IVANTED--Young Girl for hght housework and help with child. Phone West 133L3. IVOULD LIKE to Purchase waterfront home, close to Ferry. Good cash payment. "Buyer," clo West Van. News. FOR RENT -- Four room furnished cottage full plumbing 325'lso three rooms well furnished. Semi- plumbing, 320; cosy for winter. Ap- ply First House Ivest of Ambieside tvharf TO RENT--Vicel& furnished house on Waterfront. Fully modern. Douglas 743. CARPEtVTRY. GARDEVIiVG, SIGN- WRITItVG, and daily work of ail kinds. SO cents per hour. Phone "Handyman," West 470L MOiVEY TO LOAiV 5500.00 up No delay West Van. Investment Coy. Notary Public. West 102 A /1NOflfl CC 1118flf Phone IVest 78. Rescclence. tt est 4oOD- DR. ROIVAN announces that his Dental Office at 17th and Marine Drive will be open Dlonday and IVednesday evenings until 8 o'lock. for the convenience of those desiring evening appoint- ments.