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Resampled001B6DD5 September 30, 1927. THE WEST VAN NEWS CORRESPONDENCE CLASSIFIED ADS. Whimsical Review "My goodness!" exclaimed the old lady on the bus. "Isn't the traffic thick." "It's not the traffic, ma'm," grunted the conductor, "it's the "What was her pantomime , like?" ~'I couldn't see it; I sat in the second balcony." A junior clerk approached the head of a firm which was doing none too well with a view to a raise in salary. "Certainly not," was the reply, $ "and let me warn you, young i man, if you'e not careful I'l make you a partner." .If The raucous-voice orator was »,.'.; '1 holding forth in Hyde Park.','Wot I wants," he roared, "is reform...... 'ousing reform, hed- dication reform and reform...." "No you don'," interrupted a qr voice from the back of the audi- ence. "What you want is chloro- form!" OBJECTS TO "GLOOihIY DEAN'" REMARKS The Editor: Dear Sir:-- Nay I through your paper, sound a warning note to Angli- cans, which I will do by quoting what the Bible says, "As a man thinketh so is he." These words are true. Coue proved them when he gave to the world his daily formula, "Day by day, in every way, I am getting better and better." And in this way cured many a sick body. In the same will Anglicans find themselves re-verting to type, it they really believe what the Bis- hop of Birmingham, Dean Inge and others are stating, that "Anglicans are descended from Apes." I say Anglicans for the simple reason that no other Church has come out openly with that belief. You, Anglicans, will find your- selves on Sunday at the Church services first looking at the Rect- or, then the organist and choir, and lastly the congregation to notice the likeness to your sup- posed ancestors, and so prove to yourselves, that the Church dig- nitaries are right. This you will do Sunday after Sunday till you really believe and finally "a tale" will grow, and you will chatter like a monkey. So, be warned in time and "stay with" the beautiful story of the Garden of Eden, though there was a fall there, it is more uplifting. Phair-oakes: "Well, the mus- eum gave me sixty-six shekels for Mother." Phair-child: "Yes, a boy's best friend is his mummy." )I Yours truly, A DESCENDANT OF ADAM AND EVE, Ancestral Home: The Garden of Eden. Football The West Van. Rangers got off to a good start on Saturday, 24th September, getting on the long end of a 3-2 score against Grandview. All the boys did well considering it was the first game of the season. Special mention should be made of Stan Stronge in goal for the way in which he stopped two penalties in fine style. There will be a practice game tomorrow (Saturday) at Holly- burn School grounds at 2.15 and all players who have signed or intend to join are asked to turn out. This will be the only open Saturday, so a good turn out of all players is requested at 2.15 p. m. sharp. The management and players wish to thank the public for the generous manner in which they have supported the club. The following subscriptions are ack- nowledged: Previously acknowledged, $13; Mr. Napier, $2.00; Mr. Edwards $ 1.00; Mr. Turnbull $ 1.00; L. C. Rush $1.00; D. McDonald $2.00; P, E. Downey 50c; H. E. Crow- hurst, 60c; A. L. Grout 50c; W. Grout 50c; G. Payne 50c; G. But- terworth 50c; A. G. Hodge 50c; Frank Hall $ 1.00; J. Watson 50c; L. Pascual 60c; W. Dickinson 50c; J. W. J. 60c; W.Watson 50c; R. Jackson 50c; J. Whyte $ 1.00; Mr. Ford 60c; Mr. Osborne 25c; L. F. Gow 25c; B. H. Harrison $ 1.00; C. N. Robett $ 1.00; W. B. Sutton 60c; A. Chilton 60c; C. B. Greenwood 60c; L. Duval 60c; G. Hay 50c; J. Normand $ 1.00; E. S. Pearce 60c; J. Tite 60c; F.Tite 26c; J. Patterson $ 1.00; IV. S. Davis $ 1.00; J. Reid $ 1.00; Mr. Blair 60c; Mr. McMillan 50c; Mi'. Hyslop 50c; Mr. Sinclair, Van- couver $5.00; H. Lang $ 1.00; Capt. W. Thompson 50c. We heard of the sad case of a Scotchman who was engaged to a girl who became so fat that he wanted to break off the engage- ment. But the girl couldn't 'get the ring off and so he had to marry her. Boring Young Man (holding'g 'orth to pretty girl): "You know I'm funny like that--ahvays throw myself into anything I undertake." - Pretty Girl (sweetly): "How %. splendid! Why don't you dig a well?" '0 Curb Shiek (trying to pick up a pretty little fern): "Hello, dearie. Fem: "Oh, sir, I don't know ref " you.'. S.: "S'll right, girlie. What you don't know won't hurt you!" ifi First Small Boy: "I'd like to F see a fish cry." q, ig Second Little Dum-bell: "Fish i,'on't cry."g--4 First Ditto: "They do, too! Papa said he saw some whales' blubber." Dr. Bonehead treated a man for jaundice for three years and at the end of that time found the man was a Jap. 'he: "Haven't I met you some place before?" He: "Possibly; sometimes I get a little careless where I go." If all the buyers over 16 years of age in British Columbia spent 26 cents per day moro on B. C. products than they are now doing, over 615,000,- 000 would be added to our payrolls. "Hey, hilke," said a workman to the other atop, "Dou't coiue down on that ladder on the north corner. I took it away." The Hindu who's breeding vegetarian dogs with the idea that they'l be less fierce should be told about George Bernard ~, Shaw. ~ Clerk: "You must be your 2 ~Pl'vlfe's husband." 'u)'Man: "Oh, gosh; I'm discover- "Have you any relatives in . 71 Chicago?" "I don't know; I haven't look- ed in the papers yet this morn- ing." I saw a sign in a restaurant, Nil "Ladies Served Here." I went in and ordered a snappy blonde..-i'."i . They threw me out. I wonder why? 'i I '. Duke: She's a bathing beauty. Count: Does she swim? Duke: Oh, yes; she hadn' been here 24 hours before she knew all the dives in town. THE FOOTBALL TEAihi Dear Sir:-- After seeing the game of foot- ball on Saturday afternoon be- twen Grandview and West Van. Juveniles one could not but feel sorry that their were hardly any supporters to cheer these lads on. They certainly played 8 good game, and with a little more practice together they are going to give us some real football. Surely there are a lot of older people in West Vancouver who like clean good sport, and if you can, through your most excellent paper, awaken such people, you will do West Vancouer a lot of good, as the boys certainly need all the encouragement that is due to them. What put New Westminster on the map? Why lacrosse. Let football put West Vancouver on the map. The gentlemen who thought of and started the club are to be congratulated on getting such a fine lot of boys together. Well boys here's congratulations on your first win, and trust you will stick together until you get to be the B. C. Champion. Yours truly, A LOVER OF GOOD CLEAN LADS (A Wellwisher) Levee is a ceremonial morn- ing reception held by a sovereign or his representative, or the chief magistrate of a republic. At the British court both ladies and gentlement are admitted to a royal drawing room, but only gentlemen are present at the king's levee. Ju-jitsu, or jiu-jiasu is a form of athletics and wrestling which keeps the body in good training and enables it to meet all attacks with the body covered only with breeches and a loose jacket. It cultivates quickness of the eye, hand and foot. It is very much practised by the Japanese. MONEY TO LOAN 3500.00 up No delay Ivest Van. Investment Coy. Notary Public. West 102 FOR SALE--New well finished bung- alow; four bright rooms, extra large porch, breakfast nook, bathroom, concrete basement. Easy terms. West 148. FOR RENT--Four rooms furnished, half block west of ferry; 1433 Belle- vue. Phone West 116, FOR SAL~ne open heater, one folding table, 4 kitchen chairs, one rocker. one gas plate (3 rings). Ap- ply Mrs. La Fleche, 14th and Clyde. ACCOMJIODATION f o r hlarried Couple, business lady or gentleman. Board optionaL Apply "Room," c!o West Van. News. FOR SAL~hesterf)eld bed in goad condition, 850. Phone West 460L. FOR SALE--Davenport upholstered in French Tapestry, also six holed kitchen range and small heater. Phone West 19?L. WANTED TO RE)VT--Piano, or pay moving cost and store. West 350L. HIGH SCHOOL GIRL WANTED- Two nights weekly, neighborhood of 19th Street. Phone West 415L. PIANO WANTED--Family of adults would like to rent immediately a piano for winter months. Careful usage. Phone West 357L. A hIODERN Furnished Four Room Cottage to rent. Phone West 74Y2. 5 Roohl BUNGALOW FOR RENT-- Pull plumbing, ample cupboard and wardrobe accommodation. open fire- place, laundry tub, beautiful situa- tion. Adults only, 830. Phone West 404L. R. P, Clarke gi Co. (Vancouver) Ltd. ACREAGE--For a few days we are instructed to offer five acre block for 31500. Owner is sacrificing to meet other obligations. Terms if required. SUPERIOR HOSIE--Six rooms, Hard- wood floors, furnace, cabinet built kitchen, large windows, French doors. extra large sitting room, re ception hall. Excellent value 86,000, on terms. hIODERN FOUR-Roohl SUNGA- LOW--Agreeably situated, fireplace full plumbing, electric range, nice lot, excellent value at 32650; terms 8500 cash, balance like rent. WE SPECIALISE in Ivest Vancouver Se us for Homes, Homesites. Water- front, Acreage, Investment. Fiscal Agents: R. P. Clarke & Co. (Vancouver) Ltd. 823 Hastings St. W. Sey. 7483, 7484 Local Representative C. & ARCHER, West 651L DRESSMAKING --hires Robbins, 28th and Marine. Phone West 74RI. RADIO--See 1vest Van. Electric about your Radio. TAILORING--Children's Clothes. Alt- erations. Phone West 63R3. FOR RENT--Unfurnished Five-room Bungalow on Waterfront at Alta- mont. Phone Leyland, West 63R1. MODERATE PRICED HOSIE WANT- ed--West of ferry. Two or three bedrooms, plumbing, ilreplace. Ad- vise particulars location lowest price and terms for consideration. Post Office Box 1114, Vancouver. HEMSTITCHING -- Pearces.. Dry Goods, 14th Street and Marine. Phone West 144. VACUUSI To RENT--See Ivest Van. Electric. Phone West 106. NEW AND SECOND HAND Farnl- ture bought, sold, and exchange& Pred Tits, Kevill's Old Stand, Am- bleside. LAWNS hIADE--Cement Floors and S.dewalks laid; Rock Walls built. T. Barnott, Residence Phone 6'12R. BATTERIES TESTED--Wiring, etc. Vacuum to rent. West Van. Electric. Phoae West 108. FOR REViT--Three Room Furnished Flat, 810 a month. 1257 Clyde St. FOR SALE--Range, Davenport, Buf- fet and Dining Table. Apply West 155. FOR RENT -- Slo.00. Cosy Winter Cottage from October 1st; furnish- ed; Waterfront and 26th; light and water. hire. Bulkley, "Dreamy Nook." WANTED -- Young Lady to assist with household duties, etc. I ive in. Liberal outings. Apply hire. Sager, 1522 Marine Drive. Phone West 655Y. LEFT IN CAR on hlarine Drive 9 30 a m, 28th mstant, pair of waders. Will owner of car please ring West 43GL2. WANTED -- About 3 or 4 cords of dry alder suitable for fireplace. Ap ply West 658L. iVEWSIAN & ROBBINS -- Builders and Contractors--Painting, paper- hanging and kalsomining, chimneys built. 28th and hlarine. Phone West 74 R1. TO RENT--Cosy well furnished three room cottage. 820 per month. 1Vest 148. New Winter Schedule Lv. Vancouver ................ 9:00 A.M. North Vancouver ...... 9:30 Ambleside .................. 9:40 Hollyburn .................. 9:42 Dundarave ................ 9:48 West Bay .................. 9:50 Sherman .................... 9:62 Cypress Park ............ 9:54 Caulfeild ...,....,..„„.„.. 9)66 Ar. Horseshoe Bay ........ 10:16 11:30 A.hl. 12:00 12:10 12:12 12:18 12:20 12:22 12:24 12)25 1:30 P.M. 2:00 2)10 2:12 2:18 2:20 2)22 2)24 2:25 2:45 3:30 P.hf. 4)00 4:10 4)12 4)18 4:20 4:22 4:25 5)30 P.hl. 6)00 6:10 6:12 G:18 6:20 G:22 6:24 6:25 6:45 8)30 P.ihi. 9)00 9)10 9:12 9:18 9:20 9:22 9:25 11)30 P.hl. 12:00 12)10 12)12 12)18 12:20 12: 2') 1")24 ] ') ")5 12:45 EASTBOUiVD) Daily Service: Lv. Horseshoe Bay ........ 7)46 A.M. 10:16 A.hL S)06 P.M. 7:05 P.M, Caulfeild .................... 8:00 10:30 12)30 P.hL 3:So 4:30 P.M. 7)30 Cypress Park ............ 8)01 10)31 12:31 3:31 4:31 7)31 Sherman .................... 8:03 10:SS 12:33 S:S3 4:3$ 7:SS West Bay .................... 8:06 10:35 12:S6 S)35 4:35 7:35 Dundarave ................ 6)07 10:37 12:37 S:S7 4:S? 7)37 Hoilyburn ................,. 8:13 10:43 12:4$ 3:4$ 4:4$ 7)43 Ambleside .................. 8:16 10:45 12)45 3:45 4)45 7:45 North Vancouver ...... 8:26 10:55 12:55 3:55 4:55 ?:55 Ar. Vancouver .................. 8:50 11:20 1:20 4:20 6)20 8:)0 please note that our service to Whyiecliff park has been discontinued. For further information Phone Seymour 4000 10:00 P.hk 10)01 10)0$ 10)05 10:07 10:1$ 10)15 10:25 10)50 H.C. $5LoR ~ANSPORXATQPP'OR Pacific Stages EII'ective Oct. 1st, 1927 PACIFIC STAGES I Vancouver - North Vancouver - West Vancouver - llorseshoe Bay 8 Marine Drive WESTBOUND: Daily Service: