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001B6C68 Whimsical Review "How many seconds are there in a minute, Kenneth?" asked the school teacher. "Do vou mean a real minute. missv" he replied, "or one of your wait-a-minutesv" Fatleigh: "I know a man who looks so much like you one could hardlv tell you apart." Thinleigh: "You haven't paid him that five pounds I lent you three months ago. have you?" Proud hiother (exhibiting baby): "Don't you see the re- semblance? Look at our faces side bv side." Her Friend: "Nothing could be plainer." The railway line was flooded on account of the heavy rain- storm. and the traveller ives obliged to break his journey at a village. He made his 1vay in the pouring rain to an inn, and said to the waiter there, "It is like the Deluge." "The what?" "The Deluge. Haven't you read about the Deluge -- Noah and the Ark and ihiount Ararat?" "No sir," said the waiter: "1ve have had no papers here for three days." "I was encored three times, wasn't I?" "Yes, the audience seemed to reafize that you needed prac- tice." whVould you," said the self- made man, "woul&l vou love my daughter just as much if she had no money." "Of course," answered the young man. "Then you must be half-wit. Get out." He had recently gone to a new job and a friend found him very shirpy about it. "I'm pretty well my own mas- ter," he said. "I can get there any time I like before 8.30 and leave when I like after six." Mrs. Brown: "Does your teacher like you, Tommy?" Tommy: " I should think so. She put a big kiss on every sum I do." An old bachelor who was quite bald fell in love udth a pretty widow whose former husband' name was Robin. One evening the bachelor dropped in to have a cup of tea with the widow, who after tea was over, began to sing "Robin Adair." The bachelor 1)icked up his hat. "hiadam," he said, "even if your husband did have hair, it' no fault of mine that I haven'." Patient: "If my wife wants to know wha t is the matter with me, what shall I say?" Doctor: "Oh, just tell her you are suffering from syncopation." "Syncopation?""Y~n unsteady movement from bar to bar, you know." "Yes," said the oculist, "he had a curious affliction; every- thing he looked at he saw double." "Poor fellow. I suppose he found it hard to get a job?" 'Not at all. The gas company snapped him up, and now he' reading meters." Joan: "Jack says his love for me is as big as the ocean." Joyce: "That's a great deal to swallow." Young Bride: "Do you think I am a good cook, darling?" Husband: "I think you are perfect." "Which of my dishes do you like best?" "Tinned lobster." February 2fl, 1927.THE )VEST VAN NEWS HOLLYBURN llALL Cov. Il&h aad Dachose WEST VANCOUVER Christian Science Society Dundarave HalL Marine Dr. Daaiavave Saaiay Sevvioe at ILDD a.a Subject Februarv 27th "CHRIST JESUS" Saaiay Scbool at I ~ .Oe a. a Testimoay Meouag every Wed- nesday at 116 p.a. Nothing Sensational Sunday 7.30 Address by &SIR. T. JOllNSON of Edmonton You are welcome SEED'8 GIC()Cl~s'IC.Y United Church GROCERIES, HARDWARE, PAINTS gh OILS We close at I p. m. every Thursday. Marine Drive, Ambleslde. Phone West 28 FREE DELIVERY Packed House for Playground Concert An unique "Father and Son" service will be held in the Unit- ed Church next Sunday even- ing. Mr. Rogers Foote, the Premier of the Boys'arliament will speak. The choir will con- sist entirely of 'Fathers and Sons.'uartettes will be sung by hiessrs. Lester Davis, Smith and Addy. A duet will be sung by a father and son--the Messrs. Thomas. Mr. A. J. A&ldy will sing a solo. Scripture will be read by a father and son. Pray- er will be oifere&l by ihir. George Baldwin. Seats will be reserved for fathers and sons. There will also be seats for grandfathers, fathers and sons. All fathers and sons are cordially welcome. Come early. Sunday, March 6th, will see the opening of the Special Mis- sion to be conducted by the Rev. J. Richmond Craig. These ser- vices will be open to the mem- bers of all denominations and the minister and session of the Unit- ed Church will be glad to have the co-operation of Christians in the Community. The )Voman's Association will hold their regular meeting on Tuesday next at 2.16. The liollyburn Theatre ives packed on Wednesday evening for the concert given in aid of the children's playground fund. The majority of the artists came from the city, but were certain- ly nn better than our local tal- ent. Mr. H. E. Innes-Ker of the hfarine hiotors, as a comedian and patter artist greatly pleased the audience. Bouquets were presented to the artists by Mrs. K. A. Ray, Mrs. Percy hlaster- man, hire. iV. McQuaker. also by ihiasters Lefeaux and 51asterman. The fund was benefited to the extent of over 8100 from the proceeds of the ticket sile. FOR WATERFRONTAGE an&I other property llOUSKS TO IIKIIIT, Yfftlb) INSUIIANUY, KTC JOHN LAWSON I'hone IVest 5517th Street Dear Old La&ly(to shopwalker) "I want to buy one of those wire- less fans I res&1 so much about; my room gets so frightfully stufi'y." STRATTON'S BAKERY AMBLESIDE DONATION BY SCOTTISH SOCIETY PIIONE '&VEST 27 Anif our Delivery abaa wiii caH.Peter Livingstone 17&h SI. Fiowov Gardens 121 17th St. East North Vancouver CUT FLO)VERS, FUNERAL DESIGNS, WEDDING BOUQUETS Etc. Ibuof&E NORTH Sd The Scottish Society have don- ated $50 towards the children' playgrounds, which, with the proceeds of )Vednesday's concert has raised the fund to over $ 1.000. It is the intention of the committee to approach other organisations in the district for assistance in completing the work. The First Annual Dance of the Society will be held on Friday, April 1st, in the Hollyburn Pa- vilion. An orchestra has been engag- ed and it is the intention of the committee to intersperse old time dances throughout the pro- gramme in order to cater to the wishes of many friends who are anxious to attend. Many inter- esting and delightful Features will be announced later and it is expected to be a very enjoyable affair. Will all friends interest- ed please communicate with any member of the society or thc dance committee. Over 60 members and friends attended the last regular meet- ing of the above society held last week to hear ihfrs. D. C. Ritchie's lecture on Poems of Sir Walter Scott. This was indeed a treat. The lecturer had made a thor- ough study of her subject and was able to bring to her hearers some very interesting facts re- garding the life of the great poet. Several musical numbers were given and the programme was enjoyed by all. The next regular meeting of the society will be held on Fri- day, March 18th, when the Rev. Richmond Craig will lecture on "Scottish Characteristics." All friends are invited to attend. Eligible and intending mem- bers phone Membership cornmit- tee, West 98R3. If you have not eaten Stratton's Products you have not ha&I the best. People buy Strat ton's Bread and I'Dairies because they demand Superior Bak- ery Goods. St. Stephen's Church NORMAND'S GROCERY 16th sei IIARINE .. ?hoss Wat 66 Established over 6 YearsQuinquagesima Sunday (Feb. 27th) 8 a. m.--Holy Communion. 10 a m.--Sunday School. 11.15 a. m.--Morning Prayer. 7.15 p. m.--Evensong. On Ash Wednesday, March 2nd, the services will be held at 10.30 a.m. and 8 p.m. The A. Y. P. A. will hold a de- bate next Tuesday evening on ing has greater educational ad- the subject "Resolved that read- vantages than travel." Detailed plans for the finish- ing of the interior of the church will be presented to the church committee at a special meeting next week and if approved, the work will be proceeded with im- mediately. C. J. O'I(ERINGTON 14th and Marine BARBER For the coaveniooco og Sbs ladies of the District I have had the toiophoae iastafiod PHONE WEST 186 aad make an appoio«aoa. A Complete Supplyof... GROCERIES and CON FECTION ERY WE DELIVER Ambleside Tea Roosas Ferry Wharf WEST VANCOUVER Camp and Picnic Supplies, Tobaccos, etc. Troughtou 8 Barrow Say ~ I OT fov ~ Homo; a Home means ~ LOT. Real Estate & Insurance nese slvre Isio Dundavavo Phone 1Ves& SS Hollyburn Barber Shop G. RADLANV, Proprietor MARINE DRIVE aad 16th. First Class 'Ivovk f.ADIES, GENTLEiSIEN aad Cuff,IIRRN Baptist Church F U E L Rev. David Long, Pastor. Sunday School, 10 a. m. Church Service, 11 a. m. Weekly prayer service each Wednesday at 7.30 p.m. DryBark, Coal 8 Wood of all kinds, Marine Woodyard Automobile Club Members You have sn 0&no&sf Gavage sod To&&fog Service in thl ~ I)is&riot. West Vau Auto Service DUNDARAVB Phoae West iii Free Towing Io Ms&above. (G. E. Currie, Prop) 25th and Marine Phone West 112 Satisfaction Guaranteed "Did you tell father over the phone that we were engaged?" "Yes." "What did he reply?" "I'm not sure whether he re- plied or whether the line was struck by lightning." Try Them Notice of Thanks W. Brand Young and J. Haydn Young, snd their re- spective families, desire to thank the many friends not only for their sympathy during the recent loss of their mother, but also for the many floral tributes. Card of Thanks Dr. and hIrs. Nash wish to thank their many friends for expressions of sympa- thy and floral tributes dur- ing thdir recent bereave- ment. If you'e never tried the Bur- rard Laundry just sen&l them a trial parcel of work an&i take particular notice how carefully everything is got up. You'l be pleased too when you see how modest a charge they make. This is exactly what makes so many people prefer the Burrard to any other Laundry. West Van Netos Pabfishoi Every Friday IL HODGSON aad F. F. LOVEGROVB Pabiiehovs Saslaess aai Editorial Office& Iddi Mar&as Drive Phone Woe& IDL The Burrard Laundry Ma&1 Aiiveae& P.O. Eos 1st, HoRybava. S. C. Li lanai Foo Pooplo Iedo Abo Poiiiooav TSIDD SfgttT ioi 4T. DATIDD North Vancouver Phone H. H. Ballard, North 1310 Mgr. 6I.OO s year by mall or carrier. News- etaods 6c per copy. ADVERTISING RATES ON APPLICATION New classes now being formed j. M. Morgan WEST VANCOUVER Teacher of Voice I'ro- duction and Singing I'bones Wi st I?8 Seymour ÃFOSO West Van. RESTAURANT 1421 Marine Drive at lith There's nothing sensational In our business. We do not oiIeryou goods uniler cost price. Wo have to make a profit or we woulil go out of business. BUT--we make only a fair profit We do not buy cheap goods encl sell them at "best grade" at a cut price. You will find here nothing b»t the "best" quality goo&la on the market anil we keep them in clean, sanitary con- dition. b i b i I 6 Igg &~~brt gO(P 'D The Chf« ' ihs ~bl I sg The sve&& is Eedsde Tying in ~ge Dsd . Is 66 ihe Dlc lian?I"6 tee& the svc'"'a.'s (4 fed Dgo " 'sich 1,6( rais (of e c TH I (I%PI&age& be sysafs fs'o the a&y e ) Hs &hind o is the wey ceg, is os 0 osfh we&ebs gcss&f yei is Io give yoo a&vicsbcooyf de& you wso vss