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3 - JUST FOR FUN HEALTH FOOD (Extract from "Time Flies" by Bill Cosby) "You've been eating too much junk food (my wife said) "You know, at your age," she often says, "you should get your food from a health food store" Because of this suggestion, I have made a few trips to health food stores, but I have always left emptyhanded, not because of any defect in the supplies but in the customers. Did you ever see the people who shop in these places? They are pale, skinny people who shuffle around. They may live forever, but they look half dead. In a steak house, however, you see robust, ruddy people. They are dying, of course, but they look terrific. Although I cant take the plunge into bean sprouts or alfalfa, one day I did put a few carrot sticks and celery stalks into a bag and I took a healthful walk in the park. After a while, I sat down on a bench beside an old man, who was both smoking and eating a chocolate bar, two serious violations of a longevity diet. "Do you mind my asking how old you are?" I said. "Ninety-two," he replied. "Well, if you smoke and eat that stuff, you're gonna die." He took a hard look at my carrots and celery, and then he said, "You're dead already." Quotations from "Modern Humourous Quotations" SON: "Mother, I've got something to tell you. I've just met the most wonderful girl. We love each other and we're going to get married." MOTHER: "Mama mial What you saying? Aint I been a gudda mudder to you, my leedle bambino? Doan I giwa you lasagna, manicotti, spaghetti, ricotta, antipasto? Why you wanna doa dis to me? You no luwa me?" SON: "Mother, you cant speak to me like this." MOTHER: "Why canna I speaka dissa way to you? Ain't I yona mudda? SON: "Mother, you can't speak to me like this because you're not Italian." [Max Kauffmann] / do not object to people looking at their watches when I am speaking - but I strongly object when they start shaking them to make certain they are still going. [Lord Birkett, M P . & Lawyer] See you in September. Tony Scammell Editor