profile the woman in the wings a life-time of being a theatre gypsy ended when Susan Cox took the helm of the Vancouver Playhouse in 1993 and was forced to adopt the duality required of an artist working as an administrator director, but she e x p l a i n s , " I ' m truly m y s e l f when I ' m p l a y i n g a role o n stage. It's the closest I can c o m e to b e i n g m e . I c a n rage - i f the role c a l l s for it - rage i n a w a y I d a r n ' t i n m y regular life. T h e o n l y place 1 feel truly safe is w h e n I ' m o n stage. It can be a d a n g e r o u s and hostile e n v i r o n ment, l i k e nature. B u t like the p e o p l e -- by Gloria Loree w h o w o r k i n the o u t d o o r s and c o m e to feel safe there, I feel safe o n stage. I feel frightened in real life." F o r C o x , this lesson has b e c o m e b e c o m i n g a f u l l - t i m e staff person was W h re hen S u s a n C o x took the p o s i t i o n as A r t i s t i c D i r e c t o r at the V a n c o u v e r P l a y h o u s e it was her first f u l l - t i m e , permanent j o b . "I d i d n ' t w a n t to be an artistic director. It s e e m e d a c o n t r a d i c t i o n i n terms... I ' v e n o w started to r e a l l y enjoy it. I've accepted it. I ' m not r u n n i n g f r o m it. t r y i n g to create a separate paradise." C o x k n o w s her h o m e i n L i o n ' s B a y is e n o u g h o f a paradise for her to find the i n s p i r a t i o n to meet the c o r p o rate a n d artistic d e m a n d s p l a c e d on her. "I l i v e i n one o f the most beautiful places i n the w o r l d . If I start e a c h day i n s p i r i t u a l gratitude then I ' m starting in the right p l a c e . " C o x says she c a n then get i n her car a n d figure w h a t her strategy ("a w o r d that u s e d to m a k e m e throw up") w i l l be for the day. " I ' m fed by the m o u n t a i n s and the s k y . I f I ' m l i s tening to the o c e a n , a n d the w i n d , a n d the sky, then I ' l l have s o m e t h i n g to g i v e . If I have n o t h i n g , I c a n ' t g i v e it away. I have to fill m y o w n coffers. W h i c h is w h y I l i v e i n L i o n ' s B a y . I d o it c o n s c i o u s l y . " C o x has been i n the theatre for o v e r 3 0 years, p e r f o r m i n g major roles in d o z e n s o f p r o d u c t i o n s i n E n g l a n d , the U S and C a n a d a and d i r e c t i n g m o r e than 4 0 p l a y s . S h e e x p l a i n s me says to c o n s t a n t l y h e l p and i n v i g orate the corporate element. Y o u just have to reach out y o u r hand and say w o u l d y o u l i k e to p l a y ? N o t m a n y p e o p l e w i l l say ' N o . ' " A l l her years o f e x p e r i e n c e in theatre still d i d not m a k e C o x c o m f o r t a b l e w i t h her role as artistic scary because she had to relate to a d m i n i s t r a t o r s , sponsors and b o a r d m e m b e r s , as w e l l as the actors and audiences. T h e change taught her a lot. " I ' v e learned I have to be as g e n erous t o w a r d p e o p l e w h o d o n ' t speak m y language as to those w h o d o . T h a t ' s the lesson: the w i s e w o m a n i n part o f the raison d'etre for her w o r k shops. She says the w o r k s h o p s are d e s i g n e d for p e o p l e to e x p l o r e more o f themselves. T o stimulate the passion and poetry in their lives and leant to honour life's everyday problems. "In the w o r k s h o p s w e are t r y i n g to l o o k for the truth . . . y o u c a n fully reenact y o u r life and therefore h o n o u r it." C o x e n c o u r a g e s p e o p l e to act out their p r o b l e m s and m a k e t h e m just as real, just as important, as the p r o b l e m s o f a top e x e c u t i v e or a famous person in history. C o x wants p e o p l e to think o f these e x e r c i s e s as s p i r i t u a l a e r o b i c s and to use t h e m in stressful situations. " S o w h e n y o u ' r e sitting i n a meeting and the stress is c o m i n g d o w n , y o u c a n say to y o u r s e l f this is just like H e n r y I V and I ' m just a foot soldier, and then y o u ' r e i m m e d i a t e l y c o n n e c t e d to s o m e o n e . Y o u ' r e not left alone in y o u r p r o b l e m s . " For C o x . these c o n n e c t i o n s are what makes the theatre so important. " Y o u can w a t c h a play and see y o u r o w n story and just laugh and i m m e d i ately y o u are c o n n e c t e d . " C o x says the theatre, in its essence, is c o n n e c t e d to s p i r i t u a l i t y . A n important d i s t i n c t i o n for her, is c o n n e c t i o n to s p i r i t u a l i t y , not r e l i g i o n . " T h a t ' s what T h e C r u c i b l e is a l l about. It is a m a s t e r w o r k that is s o Photo: David Cooper "/ wont a sax playing all the way through just to steam it up, because when the groin goes, then you're in trouble." - Susan Cox. Artistic Director, Vancouver Playhouse.